We were lucky to catch up with Karina Aybar-Jacobs recently and have shared our conversation below.

Karina, appreciate you joining us today. We’d love to hear about how you went about setting up your own practice and if you have any advice for professionals who might be considering starting their own?

I envisioned pursuing this path when I retire. Before launching my private practice, I was employed in a demanding government role. It was both consuming and highly stressful, compounded by my responsibilities at home as a mother, wife, and parentified daughter. I feared I was nearing a breakdown. I recall thinking, ‘I cannot continue this way,’ which ignited the fire I needed to create an immediate plan. As a social worker with extensive experience and over a decade of counseling behind me, venturing into private practice was unknown territory. Initially, I needed to prepare for a state exam and collaborate with an experienced therapist to start my private practice. I am deeply honored and grateful for my mentor, Dr. Rosa Lavergne, who extended her support and trusted me with her space to see clients. This experience underscored the significance of interdependence and highlighted that behind every sustainable and successful leader or practice is a supportive community.

In preparation for my test, I adopted a more strategic approach to frugality. For about six months, I brought lunch to work daily. I always joke and credit rice and beans as significant contributors to my success. This practice enabled me to save enough to sustain myself in case the practice did not thrive within six months. My contingency plan was to work part-time elsewhere if I failed to secure enough clients, while still nurturing my practice.

Looking back, I wouldn’t change a thing. I cherish the organic growth of my practice and how it was established, honoring principles of interdependence, discipline, and resilience.

I would advise anyone starting their practice to compassionately challenge themselves to move beyond their comfort zones and persevere through difficulties. Often, what may initially appear as a setback is, in fact, a catalyst for growth and risk-taking, propelling us toward fulfilling our life’s purpose.

Awesome – so before we get into the rest of our questions, can you briefly introduce yourself to our readers.

I am a bilingual (English & Spanish) psychotherapist and leadership coach. For over 14 years I have been honored to help women overcome low self-esteem, parentification and generational trauma, codependency, and toxic relationships.

I’m on a mission to assist and empower women in embracing their identity unapologetically.
As a social worker, I use a Macro, mezzo, and micro approach to gender equity advocacy, and helping our communities break unhealthy generational patterns.

How I got to my industry:

Growing up, I have been parentified and experienced complex trauma as a result; which left me feeling alone and confused; forcing me to become an adult ahead of time. I used to overgive in relationships, felt isolated, and that my needs could never be met as a result of being surrounded by people who frequently relied on me, I lacked trust in others because others would often let me down. I coped by being extremely responsible at home, becoming a people-pleaser, and developing anxious attachments in intimate relationships.

I am also a survivor of the most aggressive breast cancer. I believe that a major factor that contributed to my cancer diagnosis was stress, and my inability to honor my body’s boundaries at the time. I have expanded my mission to create awareness in hopes that other women and men become proactive about their breasts’ health, as well as learn to set healthy boundaries with themselves, and in relationships.

I knew there was more I could do to help women like me who have experienced trauma and parentification from growing up with dysfunctional family dynamics. That’s why I opened my own psychotherapy and coaching practice, and now I’m excited to offer a membership program to help women build resilience through vulnerability, community, and self-compassion.

Through my journey of self-discovery, education, and professional experience, I’ve been able to develop a proven process for building self-esteem, setting healthy boundaries without guilt, and cultivating mutually supportive relationships, via my Self-Worth Hub® membership. The membership is a manifestation of my professional and personal insights, tailored to equip women with actionable strategies for their emotional and mental well-being.

What sets the Self-Worth Hub® membership apart is its high value-to-cost ratio, making this therapeutic journey accessible to a diverse demographic. Members benefit from evidence-based psychoeducational material, live group sessions, a safe community, guest experts, and much more.

What I am most proud of:

Despite my traumas and coming from a single-parent household and very humble beginnings, I was able to find and pursue my passions, have a beautiful family, have loving relationships with my family while setting boundaries, and create a life that I love. I am also proud and honored to receive most of my clients through word-of-mouth referrals. Per my members’ testimonials and feedback, one of the most enticing features of this platform is its authentic community feel. where they can share their experiences and challenges in a safe and non-judgmental space, fostering a sense of unity and collective growth. This creates an organic support system, crucial in overcoming attachment wounds, perfectionism, anxiety, self-sabotage, and other relational challenges.

I have been able to serve hundreds of clients and organizations through individual therapy and coaching sessions, group coaching, and workshops.

I absolutely love what I do, and every day, I am grateful for the opportunity to help other people live more authentically and unapologetically.

What do you think helped you build your reputation within your market?

Building a reputation within the market, especially in the fields of psychotherapy and coaching for individuals impacted by parentification and complex trauma, is a journey that requires patience, dedication, and a deep commitment to the well-being of others. Reflecting on this journey, I believe that several key elements have contributed significantly to building my reputation:

Character integrity has been the base of my professional practice. Integrity, in this context, means consistently adhering to ethical principles, respecting confidentiality, and always prioritizing the best interests of my clients and the people I interact with in general. I’ve been able to foster trust and safety across my relationships. For instance, when clients, colleagues, and acquaintances, share their deepest vulnerabilities, they know they’re in a space where their experiences are met with empathy, respect, and confidentiality. I strongly believe and humbly encourage anyone to honor character integrity; as it is the foundation of our true selves, encompassing honesty, authenticity, and the courage to stand by our values and principles. It’s about being the same person in every room, regardless of who’s watching.⁣ ⁣

Emotional intelligence has been another critical component. This encompasses not only the ability to be acutely aware of my own emotional state but also the capacity to recognize and respond to the emotions of others. In a world that can feel so triggering and reactive, it is crucial to pause, seek first to understand and then be understood, and genuinely care and value being in relationship with others.

What’s a lesson you had to unlearn and what’s the backstory?

One of the most transformative lessons I’ve had to unlearn is the deeply ingrained belief in perfectionism. This lesson is particularly poignant for me, both as a psychotherapist and coach and in my journey toward healing and growth. The backstory to this lesson is rooted in my own experiences and the collective stories of resilience and struggle I’ve encountered in my practice.

Perfectionism, at its core, is the constant pursuit of flawlessness, often at the expense of our mental health and well-being. It’s a shield we use to protect ourselves from the fear of judgment, criticism, or not being enough. In my early career, I found myself caught in this cycle of perfectionism, believing that to be effective and worthy of acceptance, I had to have all the answers, all the time. This belief not only heightened my own anxiety but also, ironically, made it more challenging to connect authentically with those I aimed to support.

Unlearning perfectionism involves embracing the concept of learning to receive. This meant acknowledging that everyone I encounter—client, colleague, mentor, or friend—has something to teach me, just as I have something to offer them. It was a shift from a mindset of having to prove my worth through perfection, to one of collaborative growth and mutual support. By allowing myself to be taught, to admit uncertainties, and to engage in the reciprocal exchange of knowledge and experience, I was able to deepen my empathy, enhance my professional practice, and foster more genuine connections.

Contact Info:

• Website: www.karinaaybar.com/selfworth
• Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/thekarinaaybar/
• Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/TheKarinaAybar/
• Linkedin: https://www.linkedin.com/in/karina-aybar-jacobs/