We caught up with the brilliant and insightful Kari Boatner a few weeks ago and have shared our conversation below.

Hi Kari, thanks for joining us today. Let’s talk legacy – what sort of legacy do you hope to build?

When people speak my name or see my picture many, many years from now, I hope words such as compassionate, present, authentic, story-collector, knower and lover of people and their journeys and transformative coach are on the top of the list of remembrance. I want to leave behind a generational ripple that echoes loudly, proclaiming that this life is full of possibility and joy, that we are all here to discover our own unique gifts and give of them freely, and that we are worthy of all we want– and have the power to achieve it. I want someone’s adult child sitting around a campfire to tell the story of “that coach years ago who helped forever change the life of their loved one, and therefore mine.” I want to leave a profound and lasting imprint of empowered lives who– in turn– empower others. In this lifetime, I will always strive to help people find their bliss, their voice and personal life harmony, and, when I’m gone, I hope I leave behind the memory of someone who deeply loved, supported, and guided others in achieving all they ever wanted.

Kari, love having you share your insights with us. Before we ask you more questions, maybe you can take a moment to introduce yourself to our readers who might have missed our earlier conversations?

I always find the question, “who are you and why did you decide to become a Life Coach?” dichotomous yet fun to answer. Like many people, I’ve lived a life of layers–of experiences that lit me up and others that left me puzzled and lost. I’ve lived on the east coast, the west coast, the north coast, and the coast within.

I’ve faced setbacks that shook me to the core, leaving me doubting my personal
foundation that I’d spent a lifetime taking for granted. But here’s the thing: each setback presented me with two choices: surrender to the uncertainty and let it paralyze me or take it as an opportunity to define the future I wanted. To be a master of my own destiny.

So, at 45 years old, post-divorce, after a cross-country move, and still recovering from the loss of a job, I chose to fight like hell for myself and my future. I didn’t know how I was going to do it. I didn’t even know if I could. I felt simultaneously terrified and determined. But the small voice inside me was undeniable. It was asking me to bet on me–to go all in on myself no matter what—and it rose up until it was a yell, and I had no choice but to listen. I knew I had to try—and that I couldn’t do it alone.

What happened next profoundly and forever changed my life. I found a Life Coach who helped me see my life with greater clarity, stoked by an enthusiasm for the everyday–something that I hadn’t felt since I was a kid. Coaching was, hands down, the single best decision I’d ever made.

The second-best decision I’ve ever made was becoming a Life Coach myself. I now do with others what my Coach was able to do with me. When my clients come to me with their own uncertainty, feeling the doubt I know so well, it is my honor to pay forward with intention and presence the illumination to them that I received from my Coach.

It’s my life’s work to be a part of others’ processes as they sift through years of faulty assumptions and ultimately discover who they really are and get what they really want–TODAY.

Because I have been through it myself and I have been able to train on a variety of coaching tools and resources across disciplines, I can empower my clients to remember their own strength. Help them regain clarity. Find their foundation once again—and maybe even rebuild it into something greater and more wonderful than they realized was within their reach and control.

This powerful kind of transformation saves lives, and I know it’s possible for anyone.

Something absolutely magical happens when one person brings their vulnerability and says to another with an open and trembling heart, “will you help me? I know I can do it…but I don’t know how. Will you do it with me?”

I am proud and honored to be the one who says “YES. You are safe here. We will do this together.”

Can you share a story from your journey that illustrates your resilience?

My personal story of resilience takes us way back to 1997. I was 19 years old when I walked into my college professor’s office and saw a woman sitting in a corner chair who would forever change my life, crack my heart wide open and expand my understanding of myself and the world. She was the first woman I found myself attracted to. Now, you have to understand that this was the late 90’s, and being gay was much less accepted and understood than it is now. I was simultaneously confused about the feelings that arose when I saw her and the amazing clarity I felt. Suddenly, my life started making sense in a way it hadn’t before. So I had a choice to make–to ignore these new feelings, or figure out what they meant, possibly at the risk of ostracization. My life changed then. I dove into acknowledging who I was, celebrating it, and also defending it with fervor and determination. My resilience came in those acts of peaceful defense and in making the decision to live a life that was, then labeled, “alternative.”

Today, I am so proud and fortunate to coach members of the LGBTQIA+ community, many of whom are middle-aged just like me. My clients are mostly queer people who have spent their lives pursuing and achieving what our society deems as “success”…. impactful and prestigious careers, financial wealth and abundance, and material security. At the same time, many of them come to me because they feel a deep emptiness that a job title, money, and “stuff” has never been able to fill.

Although not unique to the LGBTQIA+, this lack of fulfillment often ties into a generational wound that is specific to our community–and all marginalized communities. Those of us who came out during certain time periods–or certain geographical areas, or within certain cultures–have often faced oppression and trauma of being told that who we are is not only not good enough, it’s dangerous and wrong. Many of us queer people have spent years hiding our authentic selves, and not feeling worthy of love or success–or even just full self-expression.

When I work with clients who are part of my community, we explore the intersectionality of personal identity, community identity, and hyper-achiever tendencies. We investigate their present obstacles to true joy, and often look at them within a context of these old wounds as they come up. I help my clients acknowledge and nurture any foundational healing that ties into their LGBTQIA+ identity and their current goals so that they can keep moving forward.
My clients come to me because they are rooted in resilience, just like the whole of our LGBTQIA+ community. They may feel something is off, but they are determined to embark on a nuanced exploration of self-discovery and acceptance and authenticity, both within and outside of their wealth. They are learning they deserve to find this bliss in life, to navigate complex life transitions with clarity, foster fulfilling relationships, and leverage their financial stability to create a more purposeful and fulfilling life.

Are there any books, videos, essays or other resources that have significantly impacted your management and entrepreneurial thinking and philosophy?

I love the quote, “create before you consume” and it’s a practice I try to do daily by journaling first thing in the morning. However. sometimes the pull of books, podcasts, articles, etc. is very strong and, with all the amazing content out there, I happily consume knowledge first. There are many books that have impacted my practice, most notably, Profit First – Mike Michalowicz, Atomic Habits – James Clear, The Dip – Seth Godin, From Strength to Strength – Arthur Brooks, The Confidence Code – Katyy Kay and Clair Shipman, You are a Bad Ass – Jen Sincero

As for podcasts, I listen to the Mel Robbins Podcast, Huberman Lab, The Art of Entrepreneurship – Jackie Hermes, Prospecting on Purpose – Sara Murray

Contact Info:

• Website: www.kariboatnercoaching.com
• Instagram: @kari_boatner_coaching
• Linkedin: https://www.linkedin.com/in/kariboatner/