We caught up with the brilliant and insightful Karen Sadewater a few weeks ago and have shared our conversation below.
Karen, looking forward to hearing all of your stories today. Was there a moment in your career that meaningfully altered your trajectory? If so, we’d love to hear the backstory.
Sometimes when you’re in a dark place you think you’ve been buried, but actually you’ve been planted.” – Christine Caine, I started at Chicago School of Professional Psychology in 2016…yeah, yeah, I know the math is not adding up since it is now 2023; a three-year program turned into a six-year educational and life journey. I was buried a few times but then each time I came back stronger and happier. My dark places consist of deaths of family members and close friends, end of significant relationships, traumatic vehicle accident, imposter syndrome, & health issues. As I reflect on this time in my life, being buried were defining moments for me. I could have given up at any moment. I could have stayed in ruminating thoughts such as “I should be this or that,” “why did this happen to me” and “I can’t do it”. And no one would have blamed me if I did. These thoughts kept me from seeing the potential in every day. As difficult as getting up daily was, it was even more difficult to give up!
Now take a moment, think about your dark places, and look at your life now. Are there people who you are inspiring because you did not give up? I can imagine the answer is yes. Do not allow yourself to get stagnated. Don’t let those dark places stop you from growing. Move towards your goals of another degree, go for that promotion that you doubt you would get, open that business you been contemplating opening, begin therapy, and achieve your family, spiritual and financial goals! You got this! Remember beautiful flowers grow from being buried. So can you!
Great, appreciate you sharing that with us. Before we ask you to share more of your insights, can you take a moment to introduce yourself and how you got to where you are today to our readers
My name is Karen Sadewater (she, her, hers), like most individuals in mental health field, I started this to help people due to struggling with my own mental health issues growing up. However, when I started attending college, I did not go to be a therapist. At first, I was going to be an elementary school teacher. After two few semesters of college, I realized how much I enjoyed psychology and sociology classes. Then once I received my Associate Degree at Long Beach City College, I earned my Bachelor’s Degree at Cal State Dominguez Hills (go Toros!). I was lost on what with a Bachelor’s degree, I met with a career counselor who guided me to be get a master’s degree in Marital and Family Therapy. When I started my educational journey, I would have never guessed I would become a doctoral candidate at the Chicago School of Professional Psychology. I am collecting data on a phenomenal topic of Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing (EMDR) To Improve The Quality of Life for Human Trafficking Survivors living with Posttraumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) https://forms.gle/
Over the years, my niche has become working with complex trauma to assist people in having a better quality of life. I provide a safe, nonjudgmental, and supportive environment to explore all life issues. I have been in the healing field since 2015. I am a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist. I work for an agency as a Program Director and have my own private practice. My private practice allows me the opportunity to continue to help clients in a therapeutic space. What sets me apart from other therapists is, I have worked with every diagnosis with ages from 4 to 89 years old. I enjoy working with the TAY (16-26 years old) population the most. I have certifications that allow me to work with families, individuals and couples. I have outpatient, inpatient, Full Service Partnership (FSP), and private practice experience. If you are not in this field you might not understand the significance of these words. However, what sets me apart the most is my ability to connect with people. I am a positive, light hearted and compassionate therapist. I have experienced so much in my life that it is rare that I have a client sitting across from me who I cannot connect with genuinely because we have a shared experience. I do not assume our experiences are the exact same, but there is comfort in knowing your therapist actually gets it without the therapist needing to explain themselves. Clients can feel when a therapist is genuine or authentic. I tell my associates all the time when you are living in your authentic self, when you make decisions, you are at peace with them. I absolutely love being a therapist and supervisor. My joy for this job shines bright. This is what I bring into a session. Pure joy for being able to hold space for individuals who are in pain. I am humbled by my ability to be there for people.
I am most proud of the person I have become! I could have easily ended up in jail, dead, addicted to substance, and/or a bitter person. Over the years, I have had bad cards dealt to me, that would have justified negative behaviors. However, I choose to do and be different. I choose to grow, learn and be a better person. I am proud to be a therapist, sister, aunt, cousin, best friend and friend turned family for people around me. My support system is impeccable.
When people visit my website, I want them to feel a sense of peace and hope. I want them to read my bio and think I can get through this with her. I am about positivity, growth and living in your values/morals. Finding your values is a difficult task to accomplish because we struggle with knowing what to value are in the first place. Our families never spoke of values. Many times, we learn our values through interactions with parents, cousins, siblings, and friends. We know right and wrong but unfortunately life is rarely a clear right or wrong way of thinking. So, we go through life failing and succeeding without awareness of why. I want my clients to gain a sense of awareness to bring them to authentic space to experience pure joy. We walk around saying I feel happy. When was the last time you felt pure joy for the day-to-day activities? I am fortunate to enough to say I live in joy daily. Yes, I have horrible or bad days, however, my overall feeling is pure joy. My life and work balance are important to me .I get to enjoy life by traveling, attending sports, spending time with friends, attending concert and playing with my fur babies. I am now fortunate enough to be able to serve my community through my sorority and as a board members for different organizations. I am always volunteering or raising money for my community. Volunteering my time satisfies a different part of my values. At work, I help people internally, however, through these organizations I am able to help the external system of people.
Learning and unlearning are both critical parts of growth – can you share a story of a time when you had to unlearn a lesson?
I had to unlearn how to use aggressive language to get my needs met. Like most women of color, I have been silenced by society. I grew up learning to be aggressive verbally or physically to get our needs met or to be heard because when we acted polite we got stepped on or looked over. I had to learn that this behavior was counterproductive. In fact, my needs were not met in the past. People gave in out of fear. As I wanted to become an effective communicator I needed to learn how to be assertive. This was challenging for me because of past interactions of being stepped on. I did not want to be a victim anymore.
Putting training and knowledge aside, what else do you think really matters in terms of succeeding in your field?
I attended every and any training course as a student because they were free. I went to training that I thought I would never use the information, yet years later I would be in a situation about that topic. I would buy the books recommended (not necessarily reading them right then and there) but everything is cheaper as a student. As I became licensed, I picked an outpatient facility that was huge on training. I was trained in over five evidence-based practices before I left the agency. I wanted to gain as many interventions under my therapy pool belt. I did not stray away from “difficult” cases. I went into supervision vulnerable and ready to admit my downfalls. I advocated for my needs in my work environment. But most importantly, I surrounded myself with individuals who supported me mentally. My support team would be there for me during good, ugly and horrible days. They might not have understood exactly why I was upset or excited, but they were there for me. I let go of relationships that I outgrew as I grew as a new person. I had difficult conversations with myself around my life goals. I am successful because of my desire to not stagnate in this field.
Contact Info:
- Website: www.mycaringconversations.com
- Instagram: mycaringconversations
- Facebook: Caring Conversations
- Linkedin: Karen Sadewater LMFT
- Twitter: @lovingmylife562