We were lucky to catch up with Kai Baylis recently and have shared our conversation below.
Alright, Kai thanks for taking the time to share your stories and insights with us today. We’d love to hear about how you went about setting up your own practice and if you have any advice for professionals who might be considering starting their own?
Starting my own practice has been a journey as layered as my personal growth, each phase informed by my experiences and evolving interests. The path began when I became a massage therapist, though it took me some time to fully commit. In my early 20s, after a decade in the service industry, I reached a point where the late nights and lifestyle no longer resonated. The shift toward wellness felt like a fresh start.
In 2004, I returned to school to complete my national massage certification and state licenses. A friend and I then rented a small office behind an acupuncturist, naming our space “ONE.” We also brought on a third partner who specialized in colon hydrotherapy, creating a unique, integrative space.
As I delved deeper, I became more interested in yoga, mindfulness, and the science of energy work, which enriched my massage practice. At 25, I earned my yoga teaching certification, and the philosophical aspect of yoga began to reshape my understanding of self and my work. This was transformative, as it shifted my perspective from feeling like a passive participant in life to realizing I had the power to shape my experience.
Moving to Raleigh in 2009 helped me reconnect with my work. My sister, a chiropractor, provided a supportive space where I could continue to develop my practice. The wellness community there was already receptive to many of the ideas I was passionate about, like yoga and energy work, which helped me find like-minded teachers and dive deeper into tantric philosophy. I found balance in this non-dualistic approach, which helped me understand life more holistically.
Around 2013, I began exploring tantra as it relates to sexual wellness. A workshop in sexual healing brought a pivotal realization: many people were craving safe spaces to explore intimacy and connection in a grounded, shame-free way. This insight propelled me to create a practice around tantra yoga and sexual health education, aiming to support people on a similar journey of self-discovery.
My journey reached a new level last year with the launch of a three-day festival where we brought together teachers, musicians, and participants for a sober, educational event centered on experiential learning. This year, we’re expanding with a membership-based community to offer year-round learning and practice in intimacy, connection, and personal growth.
Reflecting on this journey, I wouldn’t change much but would emphasize the importance of balance and self-care to avoid burnout. For young professionals considering starting their practice, my advice would be: find your passion, stay open to learning, and don’t be afraid to start small. Embrace growth as a gradual journey, as it’s often through the challenges that the most meaningful growth occurs.
Awesome – so before we get into the rest of our questions, can you briefly introduce yourself to our readers.
Thank you for the opportunity to share more about myself and my work. Growing up in the beautiful countryside of Virginia, I was blessed with an active, nature-filled childhood that sparked my deep love for movement, the outdoors, and personal freedom. Yet, like many young women, I quickly felt societal pressures—an expectation that my life would follow a preordained path: school, marriage, and family. I always sensed that there was so much more to explore. Early on, I felt a natural curiosity about life, connection, and even sexuality, but the rigid norms and lack of openness left little room for authentic self-discovery.
By 18, I discovered yoga, an incredible doorway to self-understanding, which became my anchor. Yoga, meditation, and the various healing practices I found in my twenties became the tools I needed to heal from the hardships I faced. A turning point came when I joined Alcoholics Anonymous at 24, which, along with my growing interest in Zen practices, helped me face my past and reclaim my life. I became a licensed massage therapist at 25, then dove deeply into the teachings of tantra and other healing modalities. I eventually studied at the Source School of Tantra Yoga and several East and West Coast schools for nearly a decade. To this day, I deepen my studies and path to self-mastery daily. By my early thirties, I had fully committed to building a life centered around healing and consciousness.
Today, I view myself as an entrepreneur of consciousness evolution. I own and operate The Living Room Raleigh, a wellness center offering private and semi-private tantra yoga sessions and specializing in five pillars of wellness—Relationships, Movement, Diet, Relaxation, and Rest—to create a transformative lifestyle practice. Each solo session is designed to bring people back to a place of inner wholeness and to build a deeper understanding of sexuality as an integral part of their well-being. This is not about flexibility or “traditional” yoga practice; instead, it’s a way to connect with and heal oneself, both physically and emotionally, on a profound level. I also offer traditional massage therapy, Qigong, Hatha yoga, couples classes, and raw food coaching. I have found that blending all these approaches is a fast and effective way to move towards the life of freedom we crave.
Alongside The Living Room Raleigh, I run Bliss Boogie, an annual, eco-friendly festival celebrating creativity, community, and human interconnectedness. Bliss Boogie is more than an event; it’s an immersive, joyful celebration of being, where attendees explore sexuality and relationship wellness and healing arts, attend workshops, dance, and connect with like-minded individuals in a safe, judgment-free space. Our commitment to education and safety sets us apart—we are a sober event, provide an orientation process, and have a sanctuary team of therapists available to assist anyone needing support.
We’re expanding Bliss Boogie and the Living Room Raleigh with The Art of Connection Club. This membership-based social community offers monthly educational and experiential events focused on the safe and consensual exploration of the mind, heart, and body. We carried over the theme of an orientation process for all new members and sanctuary at certain events. There is a range of structured and intentional events to some with more free time to play. The idea is to create safe spaces to learn and apply new skills with peers and find footing with learning new ways of communicating and being before applying them out in the wild. Or worse, only having shady places to go “learn.” I want to help people discover what’s possible when they approach sex, relationships, and connection with respect, intention, and a holistic mindset.
What makes our approach unique is the integrity, thoughtfulness, and hands-on experience I bring from my 20-year journey in wellness and yogic background. Yoga has this magic of transcending separation. Anyone can practice yoga and experience a sense of relaxation, peace, and connection to oneself and others regardless of race, class, or beliefs. We crave what is already inside us. I strive to bring this safe, subtle guidance inward to all the spaces I create. My mission is to allow people to engage in the discovery of who they are without shame or judgment, and I am proud of how our work has helped transform lives. I want people to know that there is so much more than what society teaches us about sex, relationships, and happiness.
https://www.thelivingroomraleigh.space/
https://blissboogie.com/
https://artofconnectionclub.com/
We often hear about learning lessons – but just as important is unlearning lessons. Have you ever had to unlearn a lesson?
I am not my failures or the stories in my mind. I am also blessed with the timeless sense of self, the observer that dwells inside. Our brains are amazing generators of imagination that can create in the physical world. There is this subtle space where my mind switches into the feelings of old stories as if they are currently happening, or I start moving toward something to confirm a story I am unaware of inside of me, and it can be hard to see when this happens. I can start on this project or journey with wonderful intentions of connection and end up in a web of self-doubt and isolation.
Like many others, I have royally failed and lost a lot in my journey. It’s a part of growth and, for sure, in business. Suppose I have not managed my work-life balance and alone time. In that case, I can lose sight of the creator inside me and be moved from parts of me that need to prove I am not just a little girl from the country or the out of balanced parts of myself I witnessed in my addictions or find myself taking on the mountain of unconsciousness that surrounds anything to do with sex. There is a sweet place inside myself, and my mind can witness those stories that may be a part of me but not my totality. And it is only the connection and love I can offer myself that I am able to lend to another. My growth edge in this makes me effective in my field—cultivating a mindset of compassion and the endurance to love myself as I continually allow myself to be human. The goofy story of what success is or looks like must be checked. I have had to unlearn that I am not what has been sold to me as the idea of happiness. I am an exquisite instrument of the divine, capable of more than I know when I allow myself to be fully alive and feel it all.
The back story is the continual process of learning to enjoy the journey and standing back up after being knocked down. I have run into so many issues in running a business in the South that teaches about sex and relationships combined with being a massage therapist. It is just now shifting into a place where research can support the importance of its role in our health. But even 10 years ago it was very challenging to communicate what my business is or does. Still is. There are so many restrictions on what can be said and just a general lack of field knowledge. It has caused this constant process of recreating a business platform that others can understand. Even location shifting. I initially taught out of a house that was an office space. But found it was confusing for people to understand I was not going to have sex with them due to the subtle “suggestion” of being in a house. I was often alone working at five at night, which isn’t late. But with the sun going down in the winter, no one around, and someone you don’t know who thinks you are being paid for sex it can be scary. The flip side of that is other spaces can be too clinical or not cozy enough for someone to down-regulate and make the work hard for me to help them drop in. So, there have been major investments in these new platforms, but I have found that they were not the sweet spot either. The same thing has happened with the festival but on a much larger financial scale. Folks can just hear the word sex and assume a lot of things. So there is a HUGE amount of risk and education that has to be done. Keeping my head right and not falling into the story of hardships is massively important. Not only to me being able to hold the space to share this art but for my own happiness and well being. The work I am up against can seem like this force from the outside putting hurdles and restrictions on me. But it is just as much my own mind and story. When I shift into my heart and show up, I feel pleased and move toward real success. When I wait for my external world to validate me or measure the material wealth I have, I find myself trapped in my head. Unlearning that behavior and the idea of how I achieve it has been huge and rewarding.
If you could go back, would you choose the same profession, specialty, etc.?
I would, without a doubt. I am pleased to say I have no regrets. I, on purpose, chose the path less taken, and while it has had its challenges, I find myself living in the place of liberation I always craved more often. The power of the yogic mindset is one I am forever grateful for. My choices have made that path more accessible for seeking wisdom. I believe that having the ability to study new concepts of the relationship between our external and internal world, taking them into our own body to observe and feel if they hold truth, and allowing them to evolve are the keys to liberation, instead of taking on things that were told to us and carrying on belief systems that may or may not hold weight for us. I often meet people who have done the classic story I wanted to avoid of this escalator life, only to find out they are wildly unfulfilled. But on paper, “should” be happy. Learning to be uncomfortable and witness what’s happening versus trying to change the feeling is an ongoing art. I am blessed to walk with others daily in my personal life and in my office on this path of self-actualization. I had a powerful experience when I married my wife at the altar. I could very clearly see that everything had worked out perfectly to get me there and in such a perfect fit for one another. We may not have such alignment if anything had been even one second different in our lives. Even our ancestors that came before us. If they had been different, it was such a visceral experience. It took this phrase “trust the process” or “everything is working out for the highest good.” into a place of, Oh, that IS really happening. Whereas before, when I was uncomfortable with the process, those phrases were a tough sell. I have always been seeking freedom. And my path has taken me on a wonderful journey to embody and share that with others.
Contact Info:
- Website: https://theartofpleasureclub.com/ https://www.thelivingroomraleigh.space/ https://blissboogie.com/
