We’re excited to introduce you to the always interesting and insightful Julia Satterlee. We hope you’ll enjoy our conversation with Julia below.

Julia, thanks for taking the time to share your stories with us today We’d love to hear stories from your time in school/training/etc.

Well I got started in the field when I was 16 when I saw an ad in my local newspaper for high school students who wanted to learn and teach other teens about sexual health. (Yes, a newspaper ad! I’m that old!) I became part of a group of peer educators, giving presentations to others about things like healthy relationships, STI prevention, pregnancy and birth control. It was sex education work, but it was really so much more than that for me. The coolest part to me was that we learned about a lot of other facets of sex and sexuality in our group meetings. I got hooked! I knew immediately that I wanted to keep learning about this taboo topic- and sharing the love and knowledge with others.

A lot of my training and schooling has been pretty “normal”- you read a ton, attend lectures, write papers. Just that the topic is sexual. I had to write a 20 page research paper for a Feminist Theory class, for example, so I wrote about bdsm and feminism. I had a supervised practicum as part of my certification as a Sex Coach. You expect to have a practicum if you’re going to do any type of clinical work- normal stuff, right?

While working on my bachelors in Sociology (with a focus on human sexuality and gender studies), I attended my first professional conference for sexologists. It was in San Francisco, and I was so overjoyed to get to meet some of the people whose names I had read in articles and essays! I got my photo taken with Annie Sprinkle (an amazing sexologist, performer, & advocate), among others! It was sex geek joy.

At that conference they gave attendees a list of local places of interest, and that’s how I ventured into a bdsm “dungeon” for the first time. I was so excited, yet so nervous. I knew it was a legit establishment and it would be safe (because the sexologists recommended it), but it was still a new experience. I was warmly welcomed and rules were clearly explained, so that was very reassuring. All I did was observe while I was there, but it was a critical experience as a sexologist and as a kinky, sexual human being. Having gone through those type of nerve-wracking new experiences myself, it’s so much easier to know how to guide my clients.

My certification program involved a great mixture of rigorous academic work, personal reflection, and experiential learning on myself. So while I spent a ton of time reading and writing, I also did things like buy myself a new adult toy to review, compete a self-exam of my pleasure anatomy, and assess my own sexual response cycle, among other things.

I feel so grateful for all of the types of learning that have made me the sexologist and coach that I am today. I’m a proud lifelong learner, so I’m always still growing and learning more, improving for my clients, for myself, for a more positive world.

Julia, before we move on to more of these sorts of questions, can you take some time to bring our readers up to speed on you and what you do?

I’m essentially your professional Pleasure Instigator; I’m passionate about guiding people to the shame-free, pain-free, connected, joyful sex & relationships we all desire and deserve. What that looks like, feels like, smells like, tastes like for you is going to be different from the next person’s version, and that’s what makes life so worth living!

As a Clinical Sexologist and Certified Sex Coach with over two decades as a sex educator and pleasure advocate, I know that connecting with compassion & creativity is what brings that magic spark of confidence to the bedroom- and beyond! We have to break out of those boxes of what we think we are “supposed to” be like, and be who we actually are- that’s the creativity part. Kindness to ourselves and others has to lead the way- and that means living your values, communicating, respecting your own boundaries & those of your partner. But don’t worry if you think you’re not creative or you’re not good at being kind to yourself; we work on those things together.

The transformation when you work on your sex life is magical, because you’re not just working on this one activity you do or this one little part of your life. Pleasure is a vital part of our health and wellbeing throughout the lifespan. Our sexuality is a core part of who we are.

When you feel good in your skin, in your relationship, and in the bedroom, your whole self radiates with the afterglow of confidence. You trust yourself, your body, and your decisions. You are more present in the moment, you make time for playfulness, you’re able to enjoy life more fully. Who doesn’t want that?

How I support people to get there is through the blending of Sexology (the study of human sexuality), Coaching (like Life Coaching, not sports!), and practical applications & strategies to use in your life, including body-based practices like breathing techniques.

I do NOT use touch in sessions, nor do I watch clients in any kind of sexual stimulation; there are no whistles blowing in your bedroom activities. I do talk people through some of what they will do in private when needed, but there’s no nudity or anything like that in session. And so much of what we do in session is just looking at your thoughts, beliefs, patterns, emotions, energy, and physical concerns in order to see what you want to change, as well as what is already great about you.

I work with both couples and individuals. Some of the most common concerns that people call me about are pain during sex, issues with orgasm (too slow, too fast, not enough, not at all), and communication- which may include setting boundaries, communicating your needs and wants without blame or shame, taking the pressure out of the bedroom, getting on the same page with your partner, changing the routine, or adding some kink or bdsm.

Connection and growth are my core values as a person and in my business. Everything I do starts there. I’ve always been a person that people trust with their deep secrets, hopes, fears, and problems. I’m honored to be that person, and I take that trust very seriously. But I round out all the seriousness with my silliness, my loud laugh, my enthusiasm for all the little positive things. I geek out about sex research and related social science. I’m equally wild about music, poetry, nature, and the beauty all around us and within us. And I’m a parent in addition to having a career, so I’m mostly fueled by coffee and chocolate!

If any of this made your curiosity tingle, I encourage you to reach out! I always offer a free discovery call, so we can create a plan for where you’re headed and what you want, and we make sure we’re a great fit to work together.

I also love collaboration with other professionals, so don’t hesitate to drop me a message to see how we can network and support each other.

Training and knowledge matter of course, but beyond that what do you think matters most in terms of succeeding in your field?

Knowledge is only a piece of the pie! If you’re going to talk with people about the most intimate aspects of their lives, you have to really deeply care about people. You need to be extremely compassionate and non-judgmental. You need to have your own baggage and patterns pretty well figured out, so you can really make space for your clients; you can’t have your own bias or triggers interfering with your client’s process. And a great sense of humor is a must!

Beyond the skills that you use with clients, though, you really need business & marketing skills if you want to succeed in private practice. I come from the world of “people skills” social services, education. So when I first started out I grossly underestimated how much other support and learning I would need. I didn’t realize that you can be offering amazing services, but if you’re not talking about it in ways that people “get,” or you’re not getting your work in front of enough people, you’re not going to make it work for long.

I definitely work with coaches and mentors on the business aspects of things, and I seek out support from other colleagues, because even if you’re a solo entrepreneur, even if your business is just you, you can’t do it all alone. Don’t be afraid to get support- it doesn’t make you weak; it makes you human.

Have you ever had to pivot?

Listen, my whole life is basically a series of pivots and plot twists! I’m a bit of a wild, poetic spirit at heart, and while I knew since age 16 what career I wanted, there wasn’t any clear road map for that. Being a sexologist is not like being a dentist or a gynecologist or something, where you just follow these clear steps, work hard, and bam, you’ve made it. There are a bunch of different directions you can go with the study of human sexuality, and there are a bunch of different roads to get there, and none of them guarantee your economic success. Good thing I love a challenge!

One of my biggest pivots though was in having children! Becoming a parent is already a huge pivot for anyone, but my (now ex-) partner and I also moved to Mexico to be with his family at the same time. It was a huge transition. And then once I was ready to get back to my career, there weren’t any jobs for me there that involved sexual health. So I worked at a university teaching English, I wrote a blog about my life living in southern Mexico, and I ended up with two kids and a cat before I finally made my way back to the US and back to my career as a Sexologist.

It was absolutely golden when I got back, though, because that’s when I discovered sex coaching- the blending of life coaching with extensive knowledge of human sexuality. I was searching Google, trying to figure out my next move in order to really use my skills and passion. As soon as I read about sex coaching, I knew THAT was my path, calling me right back to my purpose. I had an interview call with the mother of sex coaching herself, Dr. Patti Britton, and signed up for the training program the next day. One of the best decisions I’ve ever made.

But all of my pivots and twists and turns have been enriching and even kind of magical in so many ways. The more you can flow with those twists and turns- and ask yourself what you’re learning there, where the joy is- the more you get from it. Even with the best planning, you don’t know for sure what’s next until you get there, so keep breathing in this moment and take your next step. Less worry and pressure about how things are supposed to be means you have space for more pleasure, joy, and connection, and we all deserve that, no matter where life takes us.

Contact Info:

• Website: www.juliasatterlee.com
• Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/sexistentialcoach/
• Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/sexistentialcoach
• Linkedin: https://www.linkedin.com/in/julia-satterlee-7497a8160/
• Other: Schedule your discovery call: https://calendly.com/juliasatterlee/discover