Alright – so today we’ve got the honor of introducing you to Julia Klebanov. We think you’ll enjoy our conversation, we’ve shared it below.
Julia, looking forward to hearing all of your stories today. What’s the backstory behind how you came up with the idea for your business?
My professional story begins with deep trauma and chronic illness. I began to develop symptoms at puberty: daily migraines that caused me to miss a lot of school, depression, fatigue, rashes covering my body, difficult periods, chronic widespread pain, and many more health symptoms. The thing about getting sick at a young age, is you don’t know what “normal” is in your body. So, when doctors told me I was exaggerating my symptoms and was just less able to tolerate pain than the average human, I believed them. I still struggle to understand what’s a dangerous symptom and what should be ignored, because of the damage done by medical gaslighting in my teenage years. I graduated high school with a high GPA, after spending most of high school teaching myself the things I missed in class. Despite my illness, I always loved to work, and could often be found juggling multiple jobs. I worked hard to maintain a social life, and slept every minute I had free- including breaks at work and school. I struggled through college and struggled to juggle work and health in a way that allowed me to financially support myself, in my 20s.
In 2015, I began to get much worse. It was like a curtain descended between me and the rest of the world, and I didn’t feel like I could connect (I now know this to be severe dissociation). A month into this dissociation, I came home feeling exhausted and dizzy, texted my husband that I was coming down with something, and went to lie down. I would not get out of bed again for years. I was suddenly running a fever above 102 nightly, it felt like the bones in my hips and legs had been shattered, my head was killing me, and I was too weak, confused, and dizzy to care for myself. Doctors tested me for Lyme disease, and it came back positive. At this moment, I believed I had found the reason for all of my suffering. I was happy about this diagnosis, because I could remember a tick bite at the age of 10, when my symptoms all started. I thought, they would treat it and I would end up healthier than I’d been since childhood. I was wrong.
Chronic Lyme Disease is horrifically undertreated in this country. Doctors gave me a week of antibiotics, and when I didn’t get better they refused more. It was a year before I could get into a Lyme specialist. A year in which my brain could not sleep, my body could not relax, and I felt like I was fading from the world. It’s hard to describe the deep trauma that arises when you are that sick, and realize no one is interested in helping you. It would be years until I found a Lyme specialist who would actually listen to me and act. And in those years, the disease ravaged my body. I leaned on acupuncture and herbalism to help myself, and spent my days in bed researching holistic ways to help myself. On my 10 year journey healing from Lyme, I developed many other chronic ailments, including a connective tissue disorder, Small Fiber Neuropathy, POTS, MCAS, repeated bouts of meningitis, brain damage, and Chronic Fatigue Syndrome. Through all of this, I was the one researching, finding diagnoses, and developing treatment plans for myself. I was the one finding ways to feel better- things we dismiss in this country, such as detox baths and essential oils. Western Medicine simply had no answers for me. And because doctors felt challenged, they lashed out at me, blaming me for my symptoms and accusing me of lying. Friends fell away, hobbies were lost, and my marriage was strained. The decade of my 30s was a time of deep trauma and loss, for this reason.
In 2020, everyone remembers the trauma of quarantine. I had already been living in virtual isolation, so that was not so bad for me. However, in that time I developed severe uterine bleeding. And because of Covid, help was simply not available. This is a topic that isn’t often discussed, because we attach so much shame to our monthly cycles. I am vocal about it, because it could save other women from suffering alone. I bled dangerously, nonstop, for months before I could get into an OB/GYN. To summarize this time: I spent 2.5 years begging for help and being dismissed outright, while my PCP monitored my blood levels and sent me for blood transfusions when they dropped too low. I cannot fully express the trauma of this experience, knowing I was in danger and being told over and over that the people with the skills to help didn’t care. Begging for help, losing physical and emotional intimacy in my marriage, and being unable to leave the house because I needed to be close to a bathroom and a change of clothes at all times. In the end, I wouldn’t trade this experience, because it is this deep trauma and suffering that led me to find my calling.
In 2022, I was dangerously depleted on an emotional level. I had lost all hope. Every inch of me hurt. I was exhausted and not sleeping, and the bleeding would. not. stop. My marriage had become emotionally abusive, as my husband was burnt out from dealing with it all. I attempted to end my life and ended up in the ICU. The hospital decided to send me home without psych admission, I suspect because they couldn’t handle the heavy blood loss and long list of food allergies I was dealing with. They sent me home to a household where there was no emotional support, only expectations that I couldn’t meet. The day program they referred me to turned out to still be closed post-Covid. I felt thrown away and couldn’t believe I’d been left without help after such a deeply traumatic incident. Those closest to me didn’t seem to want to talk about what had happened or what I needed. This was my rock bottom.
One morning, I was lying in bed and I realized: No one was coming to help me. If I did not find a way to help myself, it was only a matter of time before I tried again and succeeded. I was well aware that suicide risk was higher in those who had previously attempted it. And I was clear, that that was not how I wanted my life to end. I also knew, either I found a way to heal my physical ailments, or I lived the rest of my life in suffering. In my desperate search for help, I found a holistic healing resort in the Berkshires, MA. I asked my family to help me fund a trip there, and they agreed. I don’t know what I expected from that trip, but it definitely was not a spiritual awakening and a new career.
My time at Miraval was magical. I was on my own in a public space, for the first time in a decade. It took immense courage, to decide to spend a week away on my own, with the problems I was dealing with. I took a case of pads with me, a waterproof sheet for the bed, and a bag of safe food. And I began to remember who I was. While I was there, I received 5 days of sound healing, and I discovered restorative yoga, cacao, and breathwork. I learned about the chakra system, and finally saw explanations for my symptoms that made sense to me. Two practitioners there met with me privately. The first was a trauma specialist by the name of Mark, who explained to me the effects of trauma on the body and described his own experience living with it. I began to understand that the medical and personal trauma I was suffering was having a major effect on my pain levels, energy levels, memory, and even my uterus. I received a private treatment from a sound healer and shamanic practitioner by the name of Dayla, not knowing what to expect. That session blew my mind. Working from Tarot (which I had little faith in back then), she was able to tell me things about my past that no one in my life knew about. And she said exactly what I needed to hear to find my way back to myself. The most important of these statements were the following: “You are going through a transition. Transitions hurt.” and “You are a healer, and until you live in alignment with that you will be sick. Go home, and think about what being a healer means for you.”
In that 5 days of treatment, I watched my pain levels drop; I started getting up at a reasonable time in the morning and sleeping well at night; my allergies began to disappear; and most miraculously, I stopped bleeding for the first time in 2 years. I could not deny it anymore: There was something powerful in this spiritual healing work and I wanted to understand more. I also could not deny, trauma was effecting my body and I needed to confront that issue. I knew one more thing: I want others to know about these things. There are hundreds of thousands of patients suffering alone the way I did, and I want to change that. I was tired of seeing and hearing about medical abuse. I was tired of being powerless. And I was determined to leave the doctor’s office and empower myself to heal. I had a deep understanding that this was not just possible: it was necessary.
I didn’t have a multi step plan or even a full intention of opening a business. I just wanted to get better. In the midst of this, an argument at home that triggered deep childhood trauma brought my bleeding back, and I knew beyond a shadow of a doubt that trauma was destroying my uterus. I firmly believe that, with hard emotional work and courage, I could have saved it. But, I was also aware that the organ itself had become a source of trauma, and I needed it gone. I finally found a doctor who listened, was disgusted by the way I’d been neglected in other offices, and was concerned enough to get me in for surgery within a month (the normal wait was over a year). I had the hysterectomy, and had just enough time to heal before my holistic training began.
6 weeks after my hysterectomy, I was in NH experiencing a week long sound training that taught me to run incredibly unique sound baths and use Himalyan bowls on the body to move energy and relieve pain. If you have never heard of a sound bath, they are amazing deep meditation experiences that require absolutely no effort from those attending. I recommend them to anyone who believes they cannot meditate, as the vibration of the crystal singing bowls will carry almost anyone into a deep meditative state. They have amazing physiological effects, relaxing muscles and fascia, moving lymphatic fluid to detox the body, vibrating the vagus nerve to calm the central nervous system, and helping to heal the brain from trauma by building new limbic pathways. They are also a beautiful, deep pause in your day that feels sacred. I played my crystal singing bowls every day at home for a year, and saw continued improvement in my physical and mental health. I began offering sound baths at a local yoga studio. I had been dismissed so often in my life, that it took months to get used to people actually listening to me when I led a session. Looking back, I laugh at my past self, shocked when people trusted and followed my instructions. I began to step into the role with confidence, leading groups to howl at the moon after a sound bath or teaching nervous system regulation techniques that helped me (such as breathing techniques, self havening, and somatic movement) before a session with the hope of empowering people in their own healing.
Working with sound opened a deep spiritual part of myself. I began to have a relationship with the Divine (God, Spirit, Source, Mother Nature… whatever name you choose to call it, I believe it is all the same thing). I knew I needed to strengthen my body, and I felt called towards Kundalini Yoga Teacher Training. I knew I needed to understand psychic skills that were opening for me, and found a 9 month Shamanic Training. Doing these two trainings simultaneously brought about the most transformative year of my life. What I didn’t know is that I was signing up to meet myself for the first time. I made the conscious decision to let go of fear and lean into joy and self love.
I chose both of these trainings for my own growth and healing, and in the end they altered my offerings in a magical way. Through Kundalini, I experienced mantra for the first time, and it lit me up. I was previously terrified of singing, even when I was alone. The mantra practice I adopted changed that. Both trainings pushed me to step away from my fear of dancing, and I discovered that taking a few minutes a day to dance had the power to eliminate much of my pain, affirming for me the concept of somatic pain and healing. Shamanism taught me to connect to Nature in a way that felt deeply right and deeply meaningful, and I began spending more time sitting outside observing the world around me. I incorporate all of this into my work now, with a focus I refer to as Merciless Compassion. I am not here to make you comfortable; I am here to pull you out of your comfort zone and show you how to love yourself and be free.
I lead mantra before many of my sound baths, and sometimes end with a bit of intuitive dance. I do this with full awareness that these activities throw people off balance, and with full understanding that letting go of those fears can heal us in miraculous ways. When I speak in my classes, it is about empowering yourself to heal, and existing without fear. It is about the hope for improvement that is always there. After my own struggles with degenerative health issues that were only expected to get worse, I now believe everything can be treated if you find the right modality and take control of your own healing journey.
The programs I teach are based on all of the things that turned my physical and mental health around. I believe deeply in the message I put out in the world, and the transformative work I do. I love that I am helping people find their way to healing themselves! All of that being said, this is also the only work I can do that doesn’t end up depleting my mind and body. It is both a calling and a necessity, for me. These practices are all practices I would be doing alone at home, if I were not busy teaching them to others. This work is truly life or death for me, and I love it deeply.
The only shadow over this process for me, has been the stress it placed on my marriage. I have grown, and I am not the person I was when I began my journey. I changed so much so fast, it added stress to an already strained relationship. Ultimately, my husband and I made the difficult decision to separate. Whether that is temporary or permanent, remains to be seen. And in this, I am growing even more; learning to hold happiness and grief simultaneously. Learning to live in the pause, waiting for a plan to emerge. Making difficult decisions about how I will grow my business to support myself independently, while still taking care of my body. Because, to be clear, I am still living with Lyme disease and multiple diagnoses. I have simply found methods of self care and balance that make it much easier to live with these conditions. At this moment, I give 4 monthly sound baths around the state of MA and other healing workshops that incorporate Kundalini Yoga techniques and spiritual ceremony under the business name Healing Song Vibrations.
The story of my business journey is still being written. All is unfolding in its own Divine timing, and I feel the rightness of it in my body. New workshops are being created, and growth is coming!
As always, we appreciate you sharing your insights and we’ve got a few more questions for you, but before we get to all of that can you take a minute to introduce yourself and give our readers some of your back background and context?
Oops! This is all so wrapped up in how my business was created, I already largely answered this question. What I most want you to know is, I am not perfect and I am still growing! I believe we can all do this work together, as a community. That is what I am seeking to build: not a business, but a community in which people feel safe and seen. Everything I offer comes from a place of deep love, compassion, and passion. And all of it has been tested on myself- I am not just passing on knowledge told to me. I am not here to solve your problems for you; I’m here to empower you to heal yourself. And healing is always possible!
While I do need to support myself, nothing I do is motivated by money. I have been through hell and back to become the person I am. And I am here for you, as you move through your own unique healing journey. My goal is to teach others to care for themselves. I work to awaken deep love within you for the person you are, and to help you learn who that person is.
My core belief surrounding the work I do is this: As a population, we have been deeply disempowered and taught to rely on others for our wellness. This was not always the case. Before we had pharmaceuticals, these “alternative medicines” were used by doctors. Home remedies were common and effective. If we choose to empower ourselves and do the work to care for ourselves, miracles happen. In the US, we have a tendency to sneer at modalities like acupuncture. But if you travel to China, it is considered science and is a staple in hospitals. In this country, we hear the word “somatic” and think we are being told our symptoms aren’t real. If you go to India, there is an ancient understanding of how our emotions are stored in our body. Your somatic symptoms are very, very real. Your suffering is valid and undeniable. But it doesn’t have to continue. Changing the way we think about these things can change the way we feel. Doing this work, I have become one of my doctors’ and therapist’s biggest success stories. I have met other medical miracles, on my journey- a woman who healed herself from lung cancer using mantra and breathwork, another who was actively reversing Parkinson’s using nervous system regulation. I have met doctors within the yogic community who believe deeply in the healing power of these practices. I have met one or two who left medicine to become yoga therapists, because they wanted to make a bigger difference.
Don’t give up on yourself! You deserve to love yourself, and you deserve to feel good in your body. You deserve to thrive, and you do not need to be reliant on others to make that happen. My goal for my work, is to give you the tools that make it so you don’t need me. I want people to come to me because they want the experience, not because they desperately need it. And while I’m deeply aware of the medical trauma that makes it hard to hear terms like “somatic” or “energy healing”, I speak about these things because they are capable of transforming your life and health, and I want to see you get better.
I seek to be the lighthouse that guides you to shore. And I am doing the same work alongside you. What I want people to really know, on a deep level, is that there is hope for them, no matter what they’re struggling with. I commit to being vulnerable in my leadership, to being open about my own experience, and to holding space for yours. While some of what I do might push you out of your comfort zone, this is consciously done with deep compassion to help you move forward and heal. I, like many others, believe the meaning of life is healing. We can do it, and we can do it together, in community! The first step is learning to embrace our differences and love ourselves and those around us.
Can you share a story from your journey that illustrates your resilience?
I’m living this story right now. For 4 years, my marriage has been an unhappy one, and I stayed because I didn’t feel I had an option. A month ago, I realized that I could not heal further in the marriage, and that my husband couldn’t either. I chose to separate, not knowing how I would manage on my own. So this past month, I have been learning skills most people learn in their teens and 20s: learning to cook healthy meals, care for my home, and all of the other incidental day to day things I wasn’t well enough to do before. At the same time, I have been working hard to find ways to grow my income so that I can continue to show up for the community.
There are two big lessons I’ve learned from all of this. The first, is that I am held by Spirit even in crisis. I am learning to live in the pause, the uncertainty of what comes next. And to be open to the opportunities that come my way, in this time. It is deeply uncomfortable, but I also feel so much wonder in the way things are unfolding. The second lesson, is learning to ask for what I need. For the first time in my life, I am reaching out to community for help. And community is showing up. I have been deeply touched by the way people have chosen to care for me, once I opened up and allowed them to.
In this past month, I have existed in deep grief and wonder simultaneously. I have become very good at sitting with- and feeling- the difficult emotions. I could not have done this a year ago. I would have collapsed. But in this moment, I am working to move forward and to find excitement in the possible beginnings opening to me through this ending. I have been very, very surprised at myself and my strength, in this moment. And I am listening to my body deeply, about what it needs in this process.
Life isn’t always perfect. It is a study in contradictions. But if we can move through the hard parts with faith, even they become bearable. And it is possible and even necessary to experience happiness and grief at the same time.
Any stories or insights that might help us understand how you’ve built such a strong reputation?
Networking is very different within the Holistic community. When I started this business, it was with stuffy, business-like emails seeking spaces to work. It was with official sounding, polished ads on social media to bring people into my workshops. And I got nowhere. That changed, when I started sending out inquiries that shared my story in honest and vulnerable ways. I have learned that the best way to fill my workshops is to spend time in community. People come because they got to know me and my struggles and were inspired by what they saw. The ads are secondary.
To build a reputation in this field, it is necessary to do the things that are uncomfortable. My openness and vulnerability in spiritual spaces- what some might call “oversharing” but I call “being an open book”, has increased attendance more than anything else. And this is a beautiful thing, because these are the spaces I want to spend my time in anyway.
Doing this work, it is important to maintain healthy boundaries, because the line between client, friend, and coworker is very blurred. If you want to succeed in the holistic world, relationships and your own continued healing are central to it. I don’t feel I need a work/life balance, because my work is the life I love. Once I learned to merge my own healing with my business, my business began to grow AND my personal life improved. Healing Song Vibrations is still relatively small and I will continue to show up in community with integrity, letting myself be known and embraced. This is how trust is established with those who attend my workshops, and it feels deeply right and beautiful to me. I love and trust the process.
Contact Info:
- Website: https://www.healingsongvibrations.com
- Instagram: https://Instagram.com/HealingSongVibrations
- Facebook: https://Facebook.com/HealingSongSoundAndVibrationalTherapy
- Other: email: [email protected]
Image Credits
N/A All taken by friends and husband