We were lucky to catch up with Jose Aleman recently and have shared our conversation below.

Jose, thanks for joining us, excited to have you contributing your stories and insights. We’d love to hear about the things you feel your parents did right and how those things have impacted your career and life.

There are two main things that my parents taught me that have helped me tremendously in life. 1) to respect other people and expect respect from them regardless of who they are. This has helped me interact with all sorts of people from all different socio-economic classes, different ages, different privileges, and not feel intimidated by those facets. At the end of the day, they are a human that deserves respect, and I am one as well that deserves respect.

And 2) that I can accomplish anything I put my mind to. This is combined with the notion that you have to work hard in order to achieve something though. So, it has allowed me to trust in the process of life. I might not know when I will get what I have set out to, but the belief that it will come as I work hard towards it has allowed me to keep going even when I don’t quite yet see it. Then, I’ve experienced, time and time again, that I get there and I accomplish the thing. It reinforces the teaching that (with hard work and perseverance) I can accomplish what I set my mind to.

Great, appreciate you sharing that with us. Before we ask you to share more of your insights, can you take a moment to introduce yourself and how you got to where you are today to our readers.

I’m a therapist-turned-coach with a passion for helping individuals thrive, not just survive. With over 20 years of experience counseling adults and couples, I’m expanding from traditional therapy into coaching, blending my expertise in mental health with a fresh approach to personal growth. Currently, I enjoy a thriving private practice in San Francisco and Oakland where I meet with clients in-person or online. I also provide telehealth to all California residents.

I am also embarking on an exciting new venture into social media. I am the creator of Loving Your Awkward Self, an empowering online platform offering uplifting, confidence-boosting content aimed at queer, first-generation, and BIPOC individuals. While all are welcome, I curate content specifically designed to reflect the unique experiences of these communities. I am passionate about helping people embrace their authentic selves, and you can follow me at https://www.instagram.com/coachingwithjose/

Therapy can be expensive, so I am aiming to disperse information, content, humor, that is in the therapeutic room, into the social media room so that others can benefit from it without the high costs of therapy. The hardest part for me when growing up is accepting myself as I am, loving myself, and then showing up in the world as I am. I hid for a long time, and was very careful about what I would say and how I would act. But now, I am much more comfortable being myself, being awkward, being someone with specific needs and wants, and allowing myself to share them (even if I don’t get them).

I want others to also move from surviving (which can encompass hiding, people-pleasing, passive-aggressiveness, etc) to thriving where the focus is on oneself. I encourage folks to connect with who they want to be, who they are, and how they can show the world this with less reservations.

Learning and unlearning are both critical parts of growth – can you share a story of a time when you had to unlearn a lesson?

A hard lesson to unlearn was in the relationship world. I had to unlearn that I cannot expect my contentment to come from my partner. I had to learn that it was up to me to give myself what I was seeking. I kept getting upset with my partner about him not “being adventurous enough, not being outgoing enough, not being bold enough, not planning enough, not traveling enough”, etc. However, he was ok with things and I was not.

It was me who wanted all those things, and I was expecting him to work towards that with me (and in reality, lead the way). I had to let go of my need of him leading the way, begin to give myself permission, and just do it myself. I realized that I had the power to give myself what I needed/wanted. I learned to allow myself to treat myself, to spend money and give myself what I wanted. It was scary at first, daunting (and it would be easier if my partner just did it himself lol) but also very rewarding to see myself grow in my comfort of creating, planning, giving to myself.

We’d love to hear a story of resilience from your journey.

I had wanted to do social media content videos for about 7 years now. I had this idea of creating videos and providing information for folks back in 2017. I got caught up in perfectionism and was constantly buying lighting, and other gadgets to make it “just right” without really considering the importance of “just getting started.”
So, years went by, and I never posted a video. I kept dreaming, kept buying, kept making “draft” videos that I never did anything with.
However, I kept the spark alive re: my dream/desire. I kept telling friends and my partner of what I wanted to do. Not all the time, but enough that they knew and would ask me about it some times.

I then saw an advertisement for a small group coaching program that would support people in creating a program for themselves. I signed up, went through it, and met folks that would eventually help me achieve my dream.
This past year, I finally started uploading videos on instragram and am finally doing what I have dreamed of doing for the past 7-8 years. It’s nowhere near where I want it to be, but man it feels great to be doing it, and now really nurturing it as something alive, and not just a dream.

I was resilient in my dream of it, in holding the spark of something even when headwinds are strong and things are bleak. And, I kept my eyes and ears open to opportunities that would get me closer to it. And now I am here. We will see where it goes from here, but now that it is started, I can only imagine where it will go :-)

Contact Info:

• Website: https://www.coachingwithjose.com/
• Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/coachingwithjose/