We recently connected with Jordan Grenadier and have shared our conversation below.

Hi Jordan, thanks for joining us today. What’s the best advice you ever gave to a client? How did they benefit / what was the result? (Please note this response is for education/entertainment purposes only and shouldn’t be construed as advice for the reader)

The best advice I give to clients is to ask this question of themselves: what role am I playing in this situation?

One couple I worked with recently began seeing me to work through a tough moment in their relationship where they weren’t seeing eye to eye. This couple was at a crossroads about the direction their relationship was heading and it left each person feeling like a compromise from their end would mean giving up too much of themselves. Partner 1 was happy with where the relationship was in that moment in time and didn’t want things to change and felt that any changes in the relationship would only be to appease Partner 2 and would be giving up what they’d built over the course of their relationship. Partner 2 was ready to take a step forward and progress the life they were building together and felt they’d spent the course of the relationship waiting for Partner 1 to be ready for change. Both people felt valid in their stance and like they’d be betraying themselves if things didn’t go their way.

By asking themselves “what role am I playing in this situation” they were each able to realize this:

Partner 1 acknowledged that they’d said and done things overtime that would lead Partner 2 to believe they’d be open to change one day. By being ambiguous about what they wanted for the future of the relationship they contributed to their partner dreaming about a life they weren’t excited by. Partner 1 could see that they played an inactive role in dreaming WITH their partner, leading their partner to create expectations they couldn’t meet.

Partner 2 acknowledged that they’d dreamt a life and created expectations for the couple’s future that weren’t based in reality and recognized that their unmet expectations about the future were never agreed to by their partner. Partner 2 was able to see that this pattern was only setting them up to be disappointed.

By asking themselves the question, each partner was able to see how they contributed to the problem at hand and have compassion for where their partner was coming from. Instead of working from a place where each person was firmly rooted in their belief of what would be best/right for the relationship, they were able to start from a neutral place and start working together to create a future that they’re both excited about.

As always, we appreciate you sharing your insights and we’ve got a few more questions for you, but before we get to all of that can you take a minute to introduce yourself and give our readers some of your back background and context?

My name is Jordan and I’m the Founder of The Couples Coach. For more than a decade, I’ve been helping people better communicate the things that are most important to them to the people they care about most. I have worked with hundreds of clients in corporate communications, completed Gottman Method Couples Therapy Clinical Training through the Gottman Institute, am practiced in Non-Violent Communication, spent hundreds of hours training and volunteering through various social services organizations, and have a background in Biblical Counseling.

Health and wellness has been so normalized over the past decade when it comes to our own needs but relationship therapy is still so taboo with most couples not seeking out any help until 6-7 years AFTER an issue arises. I created The Couples Coach to provide the tools and resources to couples looking to strengthen their communication with each other whether they’re going through a life transformation like getting married or starting a family, working through issues like infidelity or addiction or differing s*x drives, or just wanting to make arguments more productive.

I believe that every couple is unique and deserves to have access to the tools and resources that will help them work best together in their relationship. That’s why I take the approach I do: working with each couple to identify the areas that need strengthening and then building a customized plan that allows them to create a stronger relationship in the real world – not just in a single session with me.

I pride myself on thoughtfully listening to both individuals and providing tools that serve the couple best, because I believe that a healthy relationship is the foundation for a healthy life.

Can you tell us about what’s worked well for you in terms of growing your clientele?

De-stigmatizing working with a professional to better your relationship!

(see notes on the normalization of personal health & wellness and why I started the company)

Referrals are my top source for new clients which I love because it shows that the couples I’m working with don’t see working on their relationship as something to be ashamed of. Instead they’re sharing with their friends and family about their positive experiences creating a healthier and happier relationship.

We don’t bat an eye when someone works with a personal trainer, nutritionist, or individual therapist or whisper about the parents who hire tutors and sports coaches for their kids to get better at things. The more that we can do this for bettering our romantic relationships, the more we can normalize the industry and the help it provides families.

What do you think helped you build your reputation within your market?

I find that a lot of my clients are intimidated by seeing a therapist and have little to no experience with counseling. My form of communication coaching feels like an easier barrier of entry to get over for those nervous about exploring couples therapy. I’m very upfront with my clients that while I’m trained in the best models of relationship therapy, I’m not a therapist. I tell them that we won’t spend a lot of time digging into personal traumas or their childhoods and I think that’s comforting for those nervous about being “diagnosed” with something.

Contact Info:

• Website: https://www.thecouplescoachaustin.com/
• Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/thecouplescoachaustin/