We recently connected with Jordan Deer Heart Ix Mazatl Ol-Si and have shared our conversation below.
Jordan, thanks for joining us, excited to have you contributing your stories and insights. It’s always helpful to hear about times when someone’s had to take a risk – how did they think through the decision, why did they take the risk, and what ended up happening. We’d love to hear about a risk you’ve taken.
I would say the biggest risk I’ve ever taken was starting my own business and practice in the beginning of 2017. This meant leaving my salaried career job and the stabilities and benefits it came with. This job was something I worked very hard to attain, and spent about a decade trying to make happen. You could say it was my dream job, but once I got there and saw behind the curtain, it quickly became a soul-draining experience and after two years it did not improve. Still, it was very, very hard to leave the safety and security it offered, especially as someone who grew up quite poor. In the years since I left, working with clients and fellow practitioners, I’ve learned this is a common experience that many struggle with. And this has only been magnified by the pandemic.
When I quit I felt like I was standing on the edge of an abyss. I was so terrified I saw stars and thought I might pass out. But everything in me was screaming at me to do it. Not only my intuition but my body, as I had become very, chronically sick from the stress. And looking for similar jobs in similar positions and institutions led to more dead ends and closed doors. One job told me that while I was their final candidate, they would rather relist the position and restart their search than hire me since my qualifications didn’t meet 100% of their criteria. Even with all that, it took a lot of trust in myself and what I was intuiting for the next phase of my life. I took a lot of heart from the archetype of the Fool, from the Tarot. The way I work with Tarot is that it’s not really a fortune telling thing, but a way to understand all the different energies and life experiences we get to have as humans. The cards that come up give us the medicine, the guidance and support to deal with whatever is happening to move through it with grace and awareness to the highest outcome. Each card gives advice on how to respond, what to be aware of, what to embody or practice to meet the real life situation at hand. And the Fool is all about following one’s heart, taking the leap, trusting in themselves despite what others might be telling them (…”don’t be a fool!”) and trusting the Universe. It is very hard to do but worth everything in the end.
And now, intuition is the guiding light of my work and how I make business decisions. This is not something that is not understood or taken seriously in the business world still, though it is slowly changing. Every time it still feels like a risk, and it’s not really ever that easy to take a big leap even if you’re used to doing so. And while it has been a joy to make it all up, and create my own position, this means there is no road map like there might be in traditional, established career paths and industries. The only light I have is myself through the dark/unknown and I only need to see a couple steps ahead to keep moving forward. Hey, that’s the Hermit archetype! :)
Jordan, before we move on to more of these sorts of questions, can you take some time to bring our readers up to speed on you and what you do?
I am the healing facilitator and medicine maker of Deer Heart Apothecary, based on Lenape land in Brooklyn, NY. I am an initiated medicine woman and create plant and stone medicine to heal on multidimensional levels. My work draws upon my Yaqui and Puerto Rican heritage and connection with the natural and spirit worlds. I am also a Reiki Master, a 13th Octave LaHoChi Master, and also practice Pranayama Breathwork, Shamanic journeywork and limpiezas, and Tarot as tools for soul transformation. In addition, I am also a faculty member of the Breath Liberation Society, a founding faculty member of MINKA Mystery School and have taught courses and facilitated healing work for humans all over the world for nearly a decade.
On the ground this means working with clients 1:1 with the above modalities, offering monthly healing circles and classes and trainings several times a year, in addition to maintaining and sending out orders from my apothecary’s online store. Every day is different! There are many avenues to healing and maintaining wellness, and it’s important to me to share and demonstrate how one can apply various practice in daily life (even when in corporate or challenging settings – which are by no means the same!), so I frame my offerings in practical and relatable ways. For me it’s all about embodiment – working with our emotions and how that shows up in the body and affects out energy. It also means working with the Earth and all the gifts she gives us to heal ourselves – air, water, plants, one another. It’s all right here and always has been.
In addition to working with the Earth (herbal medicine, flower essences and shamanic work), my specialty is Ancestral and Inner Child healing (which are often intertwined). It’s what I am known and sought out for, most often. This came as a surprise to me in the early years, but if one follows the promptings, energy and call and receives what shows up, that’s when the ‘magic’ happens. It’s about listening and responding as much as doing the work and searching. The latter is easy, the former not so much :)
How’d you build such a strong reputation within your market?
Clients know they can come to me for grounding and uplifting, and empowerment, and I am proud to be known for my integrity, knowledge and dedication. This comes after years of showing up no matter what. But I am a Capricorn and am quite good at playing the long game, in addition to working hard and being reliable and practical :) I really do everything I can to use the work to understand and respond to what’s happening in the current moment in the collective, with all the reckonings of the pandemic and inequalities and injustices that have existed for a long time – because if it’s not addressing that then what is it all for?
In that vein, with wellness and spirituality becoming more known and accepted, it has become trendy and used superficially, and while that might be fun and feel good temporarily it does not create lasting change and true healing –which can be tedious and messy in addition to life-changing and amazing. I’m about reality – it is a disservice and often quite harmful to pretend otherwise. And while such practices becoming known is good because it means more people know about it, the downside is that wellness and spiritual work have been commodified by capitalism. For example, Urban Outfitters has no business selling white sage, a sacred plant to Native people that is now endangered by the high demand. So my work is in consideration of this – making sure I am doing everything I can do operate from a respectful place for the earth as well as the collective and histories of humanity. Practically speaking this means decolonization, and using all the amazing modalities and tools to respond to the current crises and changes that affect people’s lives in this now, to effect real change. And I’m by no means an authority on this! I just keep trying and showing up and doing my best to learn. unlearn and do better each day :)
Whether people know about my and work or not, the authenticity shines through. And when each of us is working from an authentic place, that will cut through all the noise and fog and find its way to folks to need you, or whom you need, and lead to success — success by your own definition and terms. This is what healing is about – getting back to yourself before the world told you who you were or how you had to be for survival. I call this treasure hunting – we dig through the dark, the subconscious to find the true jewels hidden within – yourself. And it’s really a joy and honor to be able to assist folks in this way.
We’d love to hear a story of resilience from your journey.
Yes! So when I quit my career job, I had maybe a month of living expenses saved up and after that, there was no parachute. Though that job was salaried, I was still living paycheck to paycheck and barely getting by. It was truly sink or swim and for a while. I floundered and struggled, and soon I found myself chronically behind on rent and dangerously close to losing my apartment. This lasted for 10 months, which felt much, much longer. I actually had begun my business earlier in 2015 and had hoped to build it up to part-time to create a foundation and safety net to comfortably leave my job. That did not happen. It took me a while to realize why – all my time and energy was being taken up by a job that drained me, and I had very little left to give to what I really wanted to do. You can’t fill a bucket that’s already full, you know? I realized the only way was to make a clean break and lean 100% into what I wanted to do. Lean in all the way.
So I ended up trying and struggling for a year and a half. In that time, I was offering 1:1 healing sessions and several group healing circles and classes (as I do now) but no one was really showing up or booking appointments. I recall months and months of showing up to lead a circle for no one (hoping for walk-ins which were rare). It was demoralizing and quite scary. I had to question myself often whether I really did the right thing and if I should stick with it. And then there was the survival aspect of it all, which activated my scarcity and poverty wounds all over again. So I dove headfirst into addressing that. What parts of my body and psyche were still believing that I wouldn’t be successful and that I couldn’t make money for doing what I loved? That healing work must always be a struggle? That was what I could do on a practical level – the work on myself. Using my own tools and working with teachers and mentors. And energetically (and physically), I kept showing up and holding space over and over for far longer than I wanted to. Proving to myself and the Universe that I was serious and all in.
And then, a miracle occurred. A friend’s connection got me featured on a popular podcast, Tarot for the Wild Unknown with Lindsay Mack. And some time after that Lindsay kindly amplified my offer for $5 tarot email readings through social media, which was my desperate bid to earn some revenue. It took a lot to humble myself and be transparent about why I was offering readings for this rate. That raw authenticity touched people and it spread wide, and I was able to make enough to pay ALL the backrent I owed to my landlord (who was kind but running out of patience). I’m still in that apartment now. It makes me want to cry just thinking about it. Miracles happen when you keep showing up, doing the work, and trusting, and suddenly, unexpectedly something will shift and it will feel like downright magic.
Contact Info:
- Website: deerheartapothecary.com
- Instagram: @deerheart.ixmazatl.olsi