We recently connected with John-Michael Lander and have shared our conversation below.

John-Michael, thanks for joining us, excited to have you contributing your stories and insights. So let’s jump to your mission – what’s the backstory behind how you developed the mission that drives your brand?

As an entrepreneur, I have developed many projects based on my experiences as a former Olympic diving contender, sexual abuse survivor, and the founder of An Athlete’s Silence. I created Webberland Enterprise LLC as an umbrella for them. I have spoken globally and presented many programs like “Are Your Thoughts Killing You,” The Predatory Grooming Trifecta©,” The Predatory Internet Grooming© (PIG),” “Locker Room Talk,” and “Change the Myths—Change Your Life,” etc. While advocating and speaking for those who are voiceless, I discovered that many survivors are still struggling with mentally identifying as a victim.

During my healing journey, a high school friend gave me a copy of Dr. Shad Helmstetter’s book What to Say When You Talk to Your Self. After reading the book, I was riveted by the ideology that if I changed my thoughts, I could change my life and that most of my programming came from others and the conditioning I accept and repeat to myself. During the first 18 years of our lives, we will have been told “No” or what we could not do or would not work for us more than 148,000 times. Research has demonstrated that as much as 77% of everything we think is negative, counterproductive, and works against us.

I contacted the Self-Talk Institute and started working with the director, Tracy Wright. I quickly learned that survivors tend to create false selves as a tool to try to comprehend and understand the traumatic event(s). I quickly realized that as a male survivor, I was dealing with Toxic Masculinity, Masculine Anxiety, and the myths our patriarchal society has instilled in me about what it is to be a “real man.” I learned that the long-term effects of abuse consist of PTSD, depression, anxiety, eating disorders, addictions, and even suicide. I quickly recognized the benefits of changing my self-talk and choosing to change how I react, respond, and interpret information to regain my true self.

While advocating for sexually abused athletes, I watch the documentaries, The Weight of Gold, where Michael Phelps expressed the mental struggles of life after the Olympics, and The Secrets of Miss America, where former title holders revealed their depression and anxiety during and after their reign. And I started wondering about the people struggling to make ends meet daily. I decided to become certified as a Trainer and Coach with the Self-Talk Institute and start helping and serving others. Thus, adopting the mission statement, “Change Your Self-Talk, Change Your Program. Change Your Program, Change Your Life,” has driven my work.

Awesome – so before we get into the rest of our questions, can you briefly introduce yourself to our readers.

As a 14-year-old Olympic Bound athlete, the adults entrusted with my training groomed and trafficked me into silence, causing the most exciting time of my life to be filled with shame and guilt while I went on to win gold medals at Norway and Danish Cups.

I never received the professional help I needed, and I believed that the abuse was my fault and that no one would ever believe me. I carried my secret for years. When I was a high school English teacher, a male sophomore student came into my room to share that he had a thirty-five-year-old boyfriend. When I asked about the age difference, he told me his mother and grandmother approved since the man paid for the groceries and the bills. I felt this rush of heat inside me as my heart constricted, and I saw flashes of my past. I explained that I was going to have to report it. He seemed okay with that and almost relieved. When I shared the information with the assistant principal, I learned that the situation was known, and nothing could be done since the mother and grandmother were aware. I was also informed that this boy had a history of this.

The incident with the student and my revelations sent me into a deep depression, and I attempted to end my life. As I sat in the garage inhaling the exhaust fumes, I realized this was not fair for anyone to find me like this. So, I decided to break my silence in hopes of helping others who were also afraid. So, I gave a TED Talk, “An Athlete’s Silence.” This talk led to other opportunities to share my story globally.

My biggest challenge was that no one wanted to acknowledge that males are sexually abused, especially in sports. Reports show that 1-in-6 males are sexually abused before 18 (1in6.org). I believe these numbers are higher since it is easy to disguise male sexual abuse as hazing, initiation, or rite-of-passage. The Bill Cosby case, the #metoo movement, Jeffery Epstein, Harvey Weinstein, and the U.S. Gymnasts were news focus and were groundbreaking for the sexual abuse topic. Still, our patriarchal society was not wanting to identify that males were surviving sexual abuse, even with the Penn State scandal with Jerry Sandusky, Ohio State and Dr. Strauss abuse, and the University of Michigan State and Dr. Anderson. I felt I needed to speak louder. But I had no idea where to start. I talked on podcasts and conventions, but nothing seemed to reach the leading media.

I wrote two books about my experiences and created An Athlete’s Silence as a part of my WebberLand Enterprises LLC. I realized that bookings were few and far between, and I wanted to help others with issues from their past. A friend introduced me to Dr. Shad Helmstetter and The Self-Help Institute. My life changed, and I realized that this method could help so many people by changing their mindset they could change their lives. I became a certified Trainer and Coach, which helped my mission of being the voice for the voiceless through writing, speaking, training, and coaching.

Today, I provide people with Training and Coaching based on the Self-Talk Institute and Dr. Shad Helmstetter’s methods. These can be done in groups or one-on-one, where we help clients find focus, identify their goals, track their progress, and stay motivated. We explore the five steps that control success or failure, the five levels of Self-Talk, and techniques to change negative self-talk. I help teachers, students, businesses, coaches, performers, athletes, etc., change their self-talk and lives. At universities and colleges, I present “Are Your Thoughts Killing You” and “Locker Room Talk.”

I continue to advocate for children’s safety online with my Predatory Internet Grooming© (PIG) program to help parents and children understand the issues and how to prevent this crisis. I also speak about the Predatory Grooming Trifecta©, which demonstrates how predators groom the initiation first, the parents second, and then the child, which allows the predator to go undetected for years.

My experience as an abused male athlete has given me a unique insight and mindset that sets me apart from others. I can really listen and hear what the person is saying and understand the situation they find themselves in.

I am proud of working with athletes and survivors to find their true selves again. I am most proud of helping a young woman find her dream remote job within three coaching sessions but changing her verbiage, thought patterns, and developing an active goal.

I share this because we were born with everything we need to succeed in this life, and we only have to remove the layers of negative thoughts and ideas programmed in us. It does not matter how young, old, or trauma you went through; you can change your self-talk, program, and life.

I would like to offer anyone FREE session.

Let’s talk about resilience next – do you have a story you can share with us?

Every day is evidence of resilience. The healing journey for me and any survivor is filled with challenges and triggers. Every day, it is like managing a minefield, second-guessing every decision and fearful that the past will collide with the present. The hardest part for me was accepting that the events happened and that it was not my fault. I was groomed to believe that I caused the traumatic events or they would never have occurred in the first place.

This constant internal battle can cause me to question my abilities, all the work I have done, and those I have helped change their lives. I must constantly listen to the Self-Help App to encourage me daily.

What’s been the best source of new clients for you?

Word of mouth has been the best source for new clients. Hearing that a friend had results and how my programs made them feel resonates more with possible new clients than reading references.

Contact Info:

• Website: John-Michael Lander: https://johnmichaellander.com/ An Athlete’s Silence Website: https://anathletessilence.com/
• Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/johnmichaellander/?hl=en
• Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/lucas.lander.14
• Linkedin: https://www.linkedin.com/in/johnmichaellander-31131075/
• Twitter: @jm27land
• Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC-oLvS3fcGg-VTffXP89q-Q
• Other: I am a certified Trainer and Coach for the Self-Talk Institute and I am willing to provide your listeners a FREE Session. All they need to do is contact me at johnmichal.lander@gmail.com The Self-Talk Plus App: https://www.selftalkplus.com?utm_refer=Jmla The Self-Talk Institute: http://www.selftalkstore.com/