We were lucky to catch up with Jo Ferrone recently and have shared our conversation below.
Jo, thanks for taking the time to share your stories with us today What’s the kindest thing anyone has ever done for you?
I arrived well on the heels of my two older sisters to be number three in what would become a family of eight children born of the same Mom and Dad over the course of twenty years. I was the consummate tomboy. I hated dresses, dolls, “sugar and spice and everything nice.” My parents thought this was adorable and were most supportive. They even indulged me with a full-on cowboy outfit, chaps, fringed vest, boots, hat, holster and guns. My nickname was ‘Dirty Face Mulligan”. A weekly conflict arose each Sunday when I was required to don something frilly as was considered appropriate for Sunday Mass but there was little to do but submit and refine the art of getting out of those fries at the speed of a runway model the second we got home. Apart from this, I was not only allowed to be me but quite palpably embraced for my uniqueness. And so it went until sometime around the age of eight I began to receive disturbing signals. It was now time, I was given the impression, for me to outgrow the old persona and become a little bit more of a girl. Don’t get me wrong, nobody came right out and said as much but I was gifted or perhaps cursed with sufficient bandwidth to pick up the most subtle communications.
Christmas was around the corner. Obviously I thrived on being loved by my parents and always I wanted to please them. And so it seemed a good idea that I ask for a gift that I did not want in order to give them the impression that I was indeed becoming more conventional more like my sisters Jeannie and Lisa. The Tiny Tears was as advertised between episodes of Looney Toons and Bullwinkle. I feigned gratitude and enthusiasm, but for some reason I didn’t wish to dwell on, I felt sad.
Aunt Marjorie and Uncle Peter and Cousin Richard would arrive that afternoon making their annual trek from Connecticut for their one visit of the year. It always felt rather obligatory as blood notwithstanding my father and his sister and their respective families were never close. This didn’t affect my personal opinion; I liked them well enough and they always brought gifts and as with all of our relatives inspired my mother who was the most incredible cook to outdo herself in the kitchen much to everyone’s delight. Each of us ate as much homemade pasta as we could followed by some variety of roast with creamed spinach and buttery mashed potatoes and Caesar salad, until the irresistible cake and ice cream were almost a chore, even for me, the skinny little girl with the sumo wrestler appetite. Despite all of the wonderful festivities of the day, I felt somewhat anonymous strangely and a little disoriented, detached not just from family but also from myself.
When it came time to exchange gifts with our guests so that they could finally make their way home, I was presented with a large square box. The anticipation of what might be inside snapped me out of my food coma. I untied the red bow, pried off the paper and opened the top to find a beautiful regulation size orange, basketball. In a rush of gratitude I felt seen and understood and appreciated. To this day, you could shower me with designer labels and shiny new sports cars, win me the lottery or hand me a Pulitzer Prize but I can assure you nothing will come close to the impact, the magnitude, the kindness of that one small gift.
Disclaimer: this is not a story meant to advocate for teaching gender diversity to young children. Instead I hope that all children may learn to accept one another in whatever expression of humanity they evolve. I know this is possible just as I know that my loving parents were quick to support their only gay child as she grew up and they were no longer fearful of the judgement of others for her sake or for theirs.
Awesome – so before we get into the rest of our questions, can you briefly introduce yourself to our readers.
I’ve been many things; a tomboy, a class president, a department store gift wrapper, a waitress, a receptionist, a closeted lesbian, an uncloseted lesbian, a stock photo library manager, a stock photo company owner, a licensed character creator (Fido Dido) and entrepreneur, a creator of animated TV shows (Angela Anaconda) a daughter, a sister, a friend, a niece, a cousin, an aunt, a great aunt, a godmother, a Catholic, an agnostic, a nemesis, an intimate partner, a business partner, a swimmer, a runner, a world traveler, a designer, an active alcoholic, a recovering alcoholic and even more. But the one constant for me and the persona I propose for this interview is WRITER. This is the one thing that I believe was hardwired into my DNA and it was my good fortune that I couldn’t help but to find it there from a very early age. I have always loved making up stories and if I do this well I’m not so much proud of my accomplishment but grateful for the facility to pull it off. For me it is a trait like the color of me eyes rather than something I could have chosen for myself and I’m thankful because it brings me such joy and gives purpose to all of my experiences whether big or infinitesimal. the telepathy that allows me to get inside of my fellow human beings and there by have the best possible chance to understand them and to there by come to love them provides a depth of connection that may otherwise elude me as a somewhat shy person who doesn’t come off as shy, oddly.
Are you a writer or a mathematician, a dancer, an athlete, a great cook, a plain old good egg? It’s my faith that we each have something with which we’re born, a special gift. Some people have many some perhaps just the one. But there it will sit of little use unless we seek it out and try our hand. Self doubt, shame, fear are a few of the impediments we may impose on ourselves. Do yourself a favor and push through. No matter what your circumstances, how consuming the demands on you, find time for that gift of yours and don’t make it overly complicated.Just as an example, I always say, if you can talk, you can write. As importantly, no matter what task you undertake, do it with your own twist and you may find the most creative or original or ingenious way to sweep a floor. Practice believing in yourself and you’ll believe in whatever you set your mind or hand to.
Is there a particular goal or mission driving your creative journey?
I saw Maya Angelou being interviewed on TV many years ago. When asked what advice she gave to her then young daughters she answered’ “I tell them to be very serious and laugh a lot.” I wholeheartedly subscribe to that. I care deeply about the quality of my work especially as it relates to my tolerance, love and understanding of my fictional characters. They’re as real to me as the people in my life and very similarly can be ridiculously funny.
Have you ever had to pivot?
When I arrived in Manhattan fresh out of college wielding my BA as if it was my golden ticket to a fabulous career as an A list publisher who was herself to become a renowned author. I soon found that though the degree was a plus; it was no match for my lack of typing skills. So after trying my skills at various mind numbing receptionist jobs I did what so many thwarted geniuses have done before me and since; I became a waitress. It was kind of fun. I met some great people, not least my fellow servers. Considering that the kitchen was down a steep flight of stone stairs (the establishment boasted a medieval theme) I was in the best shape of my life. All good but my Mom continued to pore over the want ads and at last came up with a position in a young, creative company for which I thought I might be a fit. I was. And for the next five years I helped grow that company to a relatively large and successful enterprise and was rewarded with promotions and salary increases. As manager I was able to offer worthy friends who were on the hunt various jobs. One such pal whom I hired as a salesperson happened to be quite beautiful. She was great. However she caught the eye of one of my bosses who was married at the time and though she herself was engaged to her long time boyfriend the attraction was mutual and apparently impossible to resist. I found this that much more awkward because I happened to know both the unwitting wife and the clueless fiancé. I felt badly for them, but it was obvious to me that there was nothing I could say and nothing I could do. It was what it was, consenting adults doin g what they so often do for reasons of their own which needed no validation from me. One day, though, about a year into this affair my boss called me into his office and informed me that he was promoting my friend, his lover to head the department and demoting me. I quit on the spot and decided I’d either find another job and buy a condo with my savings or start my own business. Real estate in NYC being what it has been the condo would have been the more lucrative choice. But what that first exercise in entrepreneurship taught me, no amount of money could buy. I took a leap of faith not having any idea of how little I knew and had yet to learn. I’m sure if I’d known how tough it was going to be and to this day I’m so grateful for that guileless confidence and lack of foresight. Believe in yourself and go for it.
Contact Info:
- Website: www.joferrone.com
- Instagram: https://instagram.com/thejoferrone?igshid=YmMyMTA2M2Y=
- Facebook: Facebook profile: https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100059965133795 Facebook page: https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100075836827692
- Other: TikTok: www.tiktok.com/@thejoferrone Amazon: https://www.amazon.com/dp/1777373689/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_api_gl_i_EZ70M7TVFQTJC9XSSTNA Barnes and Noble: https://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/julian-dickerson-and-the-higher-ups-jo-ferrone/1140543388
Image Credits
Monty Langford and Apex Vizuals