We recently connected with Jillian Kay and have shared our conversation below.

Jillian, thanks for joining us, excited to have you contributing your stories and insights. What did your parents do right and how has that impacted you in your life and career?

My parents met when they were both actors in A Chorus Line at the Fort Bragg Playhouse in Fayetteville, North Carolina. They were, and are, Theatre Arts Creatives through and through. They were so much of the arts, that as a kid, I had no choice but to spend my nights at the theatre in the green room while my parents rehearsed. I colored in my coloring books as I heard bits and pieces of “The Vagina Monologues” before I had to block it out for the sake of my child brain. I learned the ins and outs of theatre spaces by playing hide-n-seek with my brother and having our own make believe games all while our parents were on stage, hoping their offspring would not break anything. I was completely emerged in the arts and the community of the arts by such a young age that I was able to enjoy so much STUFF I bet a lot of kids didn’t get to experience. From endless cast parties where myself and the other kids would sneak off and play, to doing my homework in the back of the theatre house while casually listening to the counts and choreography being called, completely oblivious to the fact that I was constantly absorbing the energy and excitement around me. It makes it very easy for me to say that my parents did it right in raising me IN their community of art and creativity. I am beyond grateful, in fact, I am indebted to them for the simple act of bringing us along constantly and submerging my brother and I in as much art and theatre as they could. My journey in life has constantly brought me back to the realization that I have been blessed to be so surrounded by art and an arts community, and whenever I find myself lost or second-guessing, I just have to put on a record, clear the furniture out of the room, and dance, and I am right back on my way.

Jillian, before we move on to more of these sorts of questions, can you take some time to bring our readers up to speed on you and what you do?

I think I came out of the womb already ready to perform. From what I’ve been told, I was quite the cryer, never wanted to be put to bed, and I never stopped singing. As actors themselves, my parents had only themselves to blame. But soon enough, I went to dance class, and eventually I started auditioning for local productions at our community theatre. Being on stage, hearing an audience roar with laughter or applause, that was my calling, or perhaps, my obsession. I did as much as I could before I graduated high school, and then I continued on to college at East Carolina University where I got my BFA in acting. Now that I’ve been in New York for about 8 years, I have been settling roots and building a foundation for my own arts community. In 2021, I began the early steps of creating this community by conceptualizing, producing, and directing a version of Shakespeare’s A Midsummer Night’s Dream with the addition of songs from the Pop Punk genre of music from the late 90s/early 00s. It was called, A Pop Punk Midsummer Night’s Dream, and it was awesome. From start to finish, auditions to rehearsal, all the way until the audience dispersed after the final show and all that was left to do was strike the space. Each bit of the process of creating art with other like-minded individuals is my whole life. It’s like I’m home again every time. Because the first one was so much fun, we decided to do another Shakespeare play, this time Romeo and Juliet, with songs by Weezer, famous for hits like “Buddy Holly” and “Say It Ain’t So.” The thrill it gave me to go through Shakespeare’s words and find places that made sense for certain Weezer songs, and realizing that it was actually incredible how perfectly the two worked together was unexplainable! I felt like Dr. Frankenstein saying, “It’s alive!!!”, brimming with pride and awe. Sharing these productions with my community in New York and those who may have never seen a Shakespeare play but understood its meaning through the addition of hit songs we all know and love, getting to direct and choreograph and show up for other artists who are looking for a place to play, that’s the whole point of the arts. As of now, the work continues, and I’m only just getting started on a plan for a physical arts collective center, hopefully in Brooklyn. It’ll be a place for artists of all kinds to work, study, rehearse, relax, perform, and take part in the artistic community that they are inherently a part of.

Is there something you think non-creatives will struggle to understand about your journey as a creative? Maybe you can provide some insight – you never know who might benefit from the enlightenment.

I think a lot of us have certain pre-conceived ideas of what “success” looks like, especially in a creative field. The reality is, success can look like whatever that individual creative has in mind for themselves. Did you write a play and get a couple friends to read it out loud? That’s success! Did you book a 2-line role on a tv show? Congrats, dude you’re AWESOME. Did you feed your art any certain way today? Did you dance, draw, sing, craft…! The idea that success as a creative has to mean one thing is just categorically impossible. We can’t all get all the same outcomes. Whether you know a creative who has “made it” or is somewhere else on the spectrum, the avenues and destinations of success are going to be different for each and every person. The struggle is not comparing your path or journey with anyone else’s. The struggle for non-creatives to understand is that sometimes, we don’t know if we’re succeeding either! It doesn’t have a clear-cut sign that says, “Hey this is where you finally can say you succeeded at being an artist!” All you can do is keep holding on to that thread of purpose. As creatives, we allow ourselves to go deeper into our emotions and inner-workings than maybe most non-creatives do. It can be hard and vulnerable to reach into yourself to produce art that has meaning. But, in the end, that’s what makes a creative successful: the honesty and commitment to that art that was once inside them, and now through whatever medium they’ve chosen, has life outside of themselves and can inspire others. It’s no surprise I feel strongly that arts are important, not just for creatives, but for literally everyone. We have to have outlets for people to express themselves. So much gets discovered when people are open and inspired. When I put a piece of my art into the world, the best thing that can come back to me is the knowledge that I sparked something inside someone who never knew they could feel whatever they’re feeling and now must go and make something of it. That’s when I know I’ve succeeded as a creative.

We’d love to hear a story of resilience from your journey.

At the end of 2019, a week before my 28th birthday, I discovered I had stage 1 breast cancer in my left breast. All of a sudden, nothing and everything mattered. My entire existence on this planet became so precious and spectacular to me that I truly began to see every single last thing in my life differently. Before cancer, I was a fearful and didn’t take any risks. I got in my head constantly about my place in the arts and whether or not I would ever be able to fully go for something, no holding back, no letting fear of failure get in the way. I can’t say that I don’t still struggle with my audition anxiety or moments when I get in my head, but for the most part, all I have to do is say to myself, “Okay, reminder, you freaking beat cancer, now just DO THE THING,” and that usually does the trick! Very long story short, I had a double mastectomy and 4 revision surgeries, and I’ll complete my 5-year medication fulfillment in January, officially making me “cancer free” in 2025! When I think of the trials and hard times I’ve faced in these 5 years, I am so proud of my resilience. It was after cancer that I began working on A Pop Punk Midsummer Night’s Dream. It was because I wasn’t afraid anymore to tell a story, open up to a community, and be the artist I’ve always been but was too chicken to really express before. Pouring my heart into the arts was exactly what I needed to remind myself of who I was. Cancer changed me physically, but it didn’t take away what I always had inside. Every day I have to fight against the symptoms from my medication that have also taken a toll on me physically. Somedays that can be really hard and discouraging, and I am not against a rest day. And then I go, “You’re ALIVE,” and I get it. It hits me. It’s different now for sure, everything is. The vision I had of my life never had a cancer chapter. You’ll never see me say, “thanks cancer,” which is why it might be hard to understand this unless you’ve been through it yourself, but I am forever changed because of this, and I’m beyond aware of how lucky I am that I had this exact experience. Too many others don’t, and it’s for those people that I do everything in my power to live my life as if there is no time to waste. So no thanks cancer, but I’m glad I got to come out the other end of it a version of myself I’m incredibly grateful for.

Contact Info:

• Website: https://jillian-kay.com
• Instagram: @jillian__kay

Image Credits

1. Haley Jakobson
Rest: my own