We’re excited to introduce you to the always interesting and insightful Jessie Jacobson. We hope you’ll enjoy our conversation with Jessie below.
Jessie, thanks for joining us, excited to have you contributing your stories and insights. Can you open up about a risk you’ve taken – what it was like taking that risk, why you took the risk and how it turned out?
While playing rock/alternative music at the expense of pursuing a regular career was a significant risk, especially back in the 1970s and 1980s, the biggest risk of my life was transitioning from AMAB (assigned male at birth) to female in 2002. I’d known since as early as two-and-a-half years old, when I informed my mother I was a cowgirl, not a cowboy. It was a secret Those feelings strengthened at 7 or 8 but it was a secret I kept to myself throughout my childhood, even understanding at that age how much bigotry and hatred there could be in the world. My gender dysphoria began to peak during my adolescence and it was the first time I sought therapy to try and understand and cope with these feelings. For many years, I essentially lived a double life owing to my fears of being unable to find work or relationships if I transitioned but also for safety reasons. I finally came to a life-or-death crossroads in 2001 and made the decision to transition at age 44. In the first couple of years of transition I drifted away from music, becoming a marriage and family therapist (the first trans therapist on staff at the LA LGBT Center, back then the LA Gay & Lesbian Center), an adjunct professor at Antioch University Los Angeles, teaching Human Sexuality, and a professional lecturer on psychology and trans issues. But my muse soon returned and I eventually began playing music again with my former band members in the band Second Language with a return to recording and releasing music in the past couple of years. My life is infinitely fuller and happier since I transitioned and reconnecting with my music and bandmates is exciting and rewarding and. No looking back.
Jessie, love having you share your insights with us. Before we ask you more questions, maybe you can take a moment to introduce yourself to our readers who might have missed our earlier conversations?
I loved music as a child but it wasn’t until I saw the Beatles on the Ed Sullivan show in 1964, at age 7, that I decided to try to make music my chosen profession. Their androgynous appearance (it doesn’t seem like it now but it was definitely true in 1964) and expressive music along with the fact that they wrote their own music felt like a clarion call to me. I took guitar and piano lessons and began writing songs as soon as I knew a few chords. In my 20s, I turned professional when forming my new wave, post-punk band The Trend, playing guitar, singing and writing virtually all our material. We played together from 1979-1981, gigging at famous clubs in l..A. like the Troubadour, the Whisky A-Go-Go, the Starwood, Madame Wong’s and many others. We had a strong club following but were unable to secure a record deal during our brief time together. Out of the ashes came our new band Second Language, which from the get-go was a whole other proposition. Improvisation and collaboration being the key factors to our post-punk alternative sound. Second Language played together from 1981-1996 with a one year break in the middle. We opened up for major acts, gigged and recorded regularly with well-known producers, saw a big deal with Island Records come and go, released a vinyl EP in 1984 and an album in 1996 but never quite broke through to the next level. In 2002, I transitioned from AMAB (assigned male at birth) to female as a trans woman and took up a career as a Marriage & Family Therapist, with sidelines as an adjunct grad school professor (Antioch University LA) and professional lecturer on psychology and trans-related issues. But as I moved through my transition, I reflected back on the quality of the music produced by Second Language and gradually sought out and began playing together with former members of the band. In 2022, after eight years of playing together again, the band went back into the studio to record new music, and a decision was made to release all the Second Language material, old and new. Beginning in November 2023, we began a year-long campaign to release all our studio recordings on CD and for downloads and streaming. The response so far has been extremely positive and it’s been fascinating playing with my old bandmates, coming from a new perspective, both in terms of my gender transition, as well as making new music for new generations.
Is there something you think non-creatives will struggle to understand about your journey as a creative?
Many people struggle with the notion of creativity as a focal point for an individual’s life. For many, it feels like a hobby or a self-indulgence. Most are aware how hard it is to succeed in a field like popular music or any of the arts and therefore dismiss it as a reasonable pursuit. For me, as a trans woman, there is an additional level of difficulty in terms of people understanding the notion of gender transition, and gender dysphoria, and the coming to terms with the means to claiming my authentic self. There is so much disinformation and bigotry out in the world about trans issues and LGBTQ+ people, all of which fly in the face of science, human rights, and the fight for equality. Creativity, in this case, in the form of songwriting and performing music, is a process which truly requires an artist to tap into all sides of their persona, male, female and every other stop on the gender continuum. The very act of creativity is often considered a female trait, but as with all things sex and gender-related, there is much more complexity and nuance to such designations and room for great diversity. In both cases, making music and gender transition, one is taking a leap of faith, the purpose of which is to be true to one’s self and explore areas of life and creativity that most people never feel the need to explore. It requires courage, self-belief and the ability to set aside others’ expectations and beliefs. Playing music again with my bandmates in Second Language, following my transition created a paradox in terms of being a return to familiar creative environs but seen through a whole new lens. I wouldn’t trade it for anything. I feel more comfortable in my skin than ever before in my life and my creativity and feel more connected to my art and creativity than ever. I pulled myself back from the brink of suicide by listening both to my true self and creativity. I’m not one to give advice but, as with my becoming a Marriage & Family Therapist, Lecturer and grad school professor to assist others in their self-acceptance and transitions, be they gay, lesbian, trans, etc., I feel like reconnecting with my creative muse might in some sense light the way for others to come out and explore both their true selves and their untapped creativity. Don’t let others define your life and creative output for you – be yourself!
What do you find most rewarding about being a creative?
As a trans woman and a musician, the most rewarding aspect of being an artist for me has been learning to see the world through multiple lenses with a willingness to learn new skills and make new connections while remaining open to changing my mind about art, politics, society, sexuality, and sex/gender as my knowledge and experience grows. As a singer, songwriter and musician, I’ve found that creativity, in the form of music, lyrics and performance, opens doors to communicating on new levels and in new ways. Instead of seeing life only through a series of conventions, career goals, traditions, competition and restrictions, one can discover a whole new spectrum of creative expression, in-depth communication and a wonderful process of self-discovery. I find I can express myself best through composing music, writing lyrics or performing live and recording in a studio. Improvisation is a huge factor in those processes and, for me, a way to live. In 1981, we named our band Second Language because we saw music as a universal second language – a way in which to communicate that doesn’t necessarily rely upon words but can express emotions and thoughts in a way simple conversation can’t (as expressed in our song Words Into Action). The vast majority of Second Language’s material results from improvisation, based upon mutual respect and trust in a safe creative environment. Further developing and shaping the music, lyrics and arrangements helps take us all, creators and listeners alike, on new journeys through the conscious, unconscious and the realm of pure collaborative creativity. For myself and Second Language, the music we made from 1981-1996 and, again, since 2014 is all about communication, stepping outside of ourselves, and finding new ways to express thoughts and feelings through art. In 2022, bassist/vocalist/guitarist Jarrett Lesko, drummer/percussionist Brian Bielski and myself (vocals/guitar/bass) booked a studio and recorded entirely improvised new material, much of which will be released on our 2024 album Never A Plan. Would I have been able to transition in 2002 without my commitment to art, improvisation and the creative instinct? It’s hard to say for sure but I can say with confidence it would have been a much more difficult journey without those gifts.
Contact Info:
- Website: https://www.secondlanguageband.com
- Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/second_language_band/
- Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/second.language.band/
- Linkedin: https://www.linkedin.com/in/jessie-jacobson-20456311/
- Twitter: https://twitter.com/SLanguageband
- Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCrB8eAK3LqBS5neG6TiC6hg
Image Credits
Photograph by Sonja Brenna.