Alright – so today we’ve got the honor of introducing you to Jessica Zimmerman. We think you’ll enjoy our conversation, we’ve shared it below.

Jessica, thanks for joining us, excited to have you contributing your stories and insights. Is there a heartwarming story from your career that you look back on?

In my field of mental health it’s pretty common to assume “no news is good news.” I often tell my graduate level interns if they are a person that needs positive feedback, this is the wrong career. By trade clients (as we call them, the medial field refers to them as patients) typically reach out to you when they are in crisis or struggling. They don’t often tell you how well they are doing, how much better they feel or that you indeed are good at your job. I’ve been in the field for twenty years and there are a few times where I have received an extremely humbling compliment from a client. One that sticks out to me most is a female who was in a very unhealthy, abusive relationship. She was also working through a lot of childhood trauma she had never discussed with anyone prior to our sessions. We worked together for many months and she did some amazing but extremely difficult work. She abruptly had to cancel a few sessions and didn’t reschedule. It’s customary in our field to reach out after a month or so and check in if they want to be formally discharged or schedule a session. Nearly a month later (as I hadn’t send out the notice), I received the most heartwarming and humbling hand written note on a simple blank stationary card. In summary, it explained that she had gotten a sudden opportunity to relocate to a new state and took it, ended her unhealthy relationship, confronted her dysfunctional family members, set up big boundaries and has never felt better. She attributed her happiness to our work together and sincerely thanked me. I was so unbelievably proud of her and knew how proud she was of herself for feeling empowered enough to take the risk and pursue her dreams! That was years and years ago. I still have that note in my desk and whenever I am feeling defeated, questioning my skills, or my career I read that note.

Jessica, love having you share your insights with us. Before we ask you more questions, maybe you can take a moment to introduce yourself to our readers who might have missed our earlier conversations?

Growing up as a child I always wanted to be a “helper,” the definition of what a helper is changed as I grew and matured. As a young child it was of course a doctor. As I grew a little older into elementary and middle school I thought lawyers were big “helpers” so I wanted to be an attorney. In high school I faced an autoimmune disorder and my fun-filled, carefree teenage years became riddled with pain, illness, sleeping 16+ hours per day, night sweats, fevers, and extreme and severe fatigue being nearly bedridden. It really threw a wrench in my high school experience. I was an avid reader since early childhood so I threw myself into reading books. I read the book “Reviving Ophelia” by Dr. Mary Piper. I was fascinated, in awe, intrigued and mesmerized by her book and the idea behind it. Looking back, this book was really my first introduction to the field of psychology and mental health. It’s a book about the author’s career as a therapist and her first hand experience with adolescent girls, the societal pressures put on them and highlights the increased levels of sexism and violence that affect young women. I became completely obsessed with this topic and read every book on it (at the time there weren’t too many other ones)! I knew then what I wanted to be when I grew up. I wanted to be a mental health therapist.

Thankfully despite missing a total of nearly 150 days of school the last two years of my high school experience, I managed to graduate at the top of my class and was determined to have a college experience away from home to study psychology! I know my mom must have been sick with worry! College was actually better for my autoimmune disorder because I could take naps throughout the day and schedule classes with breaks in between. Unfortunately I experienced an extremely traumatic event in undergrad which ultimately pushed me more towards my career. I was brutally hazed while pledging a sorority at a very small academic elite college in the midwest. I was there on scholarship and my perpetrators were legacies that came from big family names who donated obscene amounts of money to the school. I depledged, left the sorority and eventually had to leave the college as I never felt safe there again. I was diagnosed with PTSD, found a therapist and eventually transferred to a very large Big 10 school. I continued on my journey of studying psychology and sociology. I knew I would have to attend graduate school as a clinical Master’s degree is required to become a licensed mental health counselor.

I finally was able to have an amazing last two years in undergrad with an experience studying abroad and lots of travel. It felt like I had missed out on so much between high school and losing two years of college to PTSD. But I never let those things sway me away from my goal. I ended up attending graduate school 12+ hours away and graduated with my Clinical Master’s Degree in Community Counseling from the University of Georgia in the spring of 2003. Ironically, I wrote my final paper on a healing center I wanted to create someday with various providers under the same roof: mental health, yoga, massage, etc. I never planned to return to my hometown of Fort Wayne, Indiana to live, only to visit, but returned that summer while I searched for jobs in a “big city” in the midwest.

That was 20 years ago… and here I am still in my hometown!!  The first decade of my career was spent as an elementary school counselor in the public schools while moonlighting at the local non for profit hospital emergency room providing psychological assessments, hospitalizations, and emergency holds.  Thirteen years ago I started my third job, working a couple nights a week as a solo private practice counselor.   I became trained in EMDR in 2016 which completely changed my life.   After an adverse childhood, big trauma in highschool and college, and an unhealthy marriage I realized I was surviving, not living. I needed to look at myself in the mirror and walk the walk.  I did my own work and EMDR helped me to not just live, but THRIVE.  I became Certified in EMDR and continued on to become an EMDR Approved Consultant and Training Coach. I worked with clients who had complex PTSD and my niche became internationally adopted children with severe attachment disorders and adults who had severe trauma in early childhood.   My part time solo private practice has grown into a medium sized group practice.  Willow Center For Healing, my group practice, specializes in EMDR and trauma. After working in the field for 15 years with very complex clients I started to feel burned out, compassion fatigue set in.  I was rejuvenated by working with graduate level clinical interns and providing EMDR consultation to colleagues who are learning how to use EMDR.  My latest entrepreneurial venture is healing retreats!  After providing EMDR coaching and consulting to colleagues, I realized so many of my healer friends needed to focus on their own healing.  With such a huge demand for mental health services and a global shortage of providers it has become hard for psychotherapists to find their own counselors to do their own work.  I had a plan. Willow Retreats was born. I recently hosted my first EMDR Intensive Retreat where we focused on healing the healers!  Eight brave people showed up to do intensive EMDR on their own stuff, they rested, participated in yoga, massage and an equine therapy experience.  It was an amazing weekend and I’m planning many more in the future!  Lastly, my grassroots non-for-profit 501-3C is also getting off the ground.  Willow Center For Hope was born last year with the mission to bring mental health awareness and trauma-informed care to my community at large.

Learning and unlearning are both critical parts of growth – can you share a story of a time when you had to unlearn a lesson?

What an excellent question! I had to unlearn being a high achieving pleaser. Not that long ago, I learned that being a pleaser and high achieving is actually a trauma response. Looking back on my early childhood trauma I can see now how keeping the people around me “happy” and “proud” kept me feeling safe and secure. For the first forty years of my life I didn’t really know how to say “no”. In my head, my two options were: “say yes and be a kind, genuine, person,” or “say no and be a selfish B.” So I chose the first option and prided myself in being a selfless, kind and genuine person (or so I thought). What I didn’t realize was how much anxiety I experienced about how others’ felt about me, others liking me or the worst case scenario, being angry with me! Looking back most of my life was about everyone else and what I thought they wanted and never about me. I was the girl who could never choose a restaurant or had much of an opinion. I went along with what I thought everyone else wanted. Over time I became disheartened by feeling like I was such a good friend to everyone and no one was as good of a friend to me as I was to them. In reality no one was, because everyone else put themself first (which is healthy) and I never put myself first. EVER. After I left my marriage, started intensive counseling and EMDR I realized there is this beautiful place in the middle of those two options: I can say “no” in a kind and genuine way. I can thank someone for asking me and trusting me to do something for them and say, “sorry I can’t take that on but I so appreciate you asking me.” I learned how to have boundaries, how to put myself first, and what I really wanted and liked in life. I teach this to my clients and most especially to my young daughters.

How’d you build such a strong reputation within your market?

When looking back on my journey in the field of mental health I have realized that my first ten years in the field working and networking as an elementary school counselor by day and a crisis assessment specialist in the emergency room by night and weekends set up a perfect referral source for my future private practice. I think networking is probably the single most powerful way to build your reputation as well as providing excellent care. Twenty years in we still receive calls from new clients who heard my name or my practice from someone who saw me many years ago. Word of mouth travels and although as counselors, we often don’t receive direct compliments from clients, they will tell their friends, neighbors, co-workers, family members and even strangers about their positive experience with their therapist, if they have one! I think holding space with someone, meeting them where they are, and being truly “client-centered” (as we call it) goes along way with building reputation.

Contact Info:

• Website: www.willowcenterforhealing.com
• Instagram: @WillowCenterForHealing
• Facebook: Willow Center For Healing
• Other: Facebook: Willow Center For Hope Facebook: Human First Retreats www.humanfirstretreats.com