We were lucky to catch up with Jessica Payne recently and have shared our conversation below.

Jessica, thanks for taking the time to share your stories with us today Do you feel you or your work has ever been misunderstood or mischaracterized? If so, tell us the story and how/why it happened and if there are any interesting learnings or insights you took from the experience?

I have had multiple situations in the past where someone who was a mentor or authority figure flat out told me I wasn’t “good enough” at whatever the creative arena I was focused on to keep pursuing it; acting, performing music, and physical choreography. This was especially frustrating to me as it happened in educational situations where I was paying that teacher to help me with that skill. But in each case I tried to identify with their feedback that there was a gap between what they expected and what they were getting from me, and try to adjust from there.

In their eyes, they were protecting me from being hurt in the future and this felt like the cruel but necessary path. It was wildly frustrating at the time and made me question the validity of my professional path, which was unbelievably the intention. That gave me a sense of betrayal and injustice that I had to work through. From my side, I was an intelligent, talented, hardworking, and sensitive performer (with undiagnosed ADHD-surprise!), who needed to find my own way into these techniques. With all of the doubt I was being fed by people in a position of power I developed a pretty justified case of imposter syndrome which made me question my entire path.

I am so grateful for the faith of my friends, loved ones, and myself to keep pursuing my passions. In all three cases, I realized that something was calling me to the connection, to the music, and to the movement. I found that with a small adjustment with my execution, I was quickly able to achieve the technical and artistic goals that they had set for me. And I have have had sustained professional success in all three areas, sometimes all in one production, which feels pretty sweet!

But the biggest win is that I realized early in my career how subjective artistic success can be, and how outdated psychology from an authority figure can completely damage an artist. There is some amount of resilience, humility, and growth necessary in any artistic career. But often those who are having the toughest times meeting a bright shiny industry standard path to success are those who have deep wells of artistic insight and talent but have something making that path challenging.

My lesson from this was that as a director and coach, I passionately try to meet people where they are and assume that they absolutely have this ability in them, and my job is to be a trusted guide to help them find a path that works for them. If they are anxious, we take baby steps. If they need examples we will track them down. I’m able to help people who feel shy and stiff on camera be themselves as opposed to pushing to try to be someone else, and they blossom as soon as they feel safe to be themselves.

As a performer, I found need to celebrate and trust myself first. For me, what makes me different is my extreme sensitivity and neurodivergence, which makes me see the world a little differently, and very vividly. If I made an artistic choice that felt like an 9 out of 10 intensity, I had people yelling at me that I was far too subtle and needed to throw myself into the physicality. Once I learned a way to do that where I felt emotionally safe and authentic to the character, I was able to appropriately size my performances up to succeed in performing as the lead in international musical tours for thousands of people. I belted my face off, threw myself into wildly physical stage combat choreography, and thought “Hah! Nailed this!” And now after many years of feeling called back to film and TV, I have realized that my true love is connecting on a level that allows the intimate “frisson” of a moment of powerful human communion. The extreme sensitive empathy that was criticized as being too small in the past now allows me to naturally fall into an extremely subtle moment that is called for when the camera is close. Joining that with my trained experience now allows me to take those subtle moments to an extreme climax of emotion and physicality when the story goes there as well.

I am now trusting more and more that the sensitivity that has felt like a burden at times is my strongest artistic tool.

Great, appreciate you sharing that with us. Before we ask you to share more of your insights, can you take a moment to introduce yourself and how you got to where you are today to our readers.

I am a performer, creator, and on camera performance coach as the CEO of Kika Labs.

An actress and singer I have performed in national and international tours, films, TV shows, audio dramas, cast recordings, and musicals. Some favorites include originating the role of Ms. Frizzle in “The Magic School Bus: Climate Challenge” and reporter Jessie Sinclair in “Hip Hop City,” and playing Pam in “The Full Monty”. I specialize in fun-loving and passionate characters with a dark intensity.

I’ve created original narrative pieces from short films and music videos to cabarets and TV pilots. I’ve directed dozens of live performances and short films. I am also the host of the video podcast “Creator’s Cafe” where I interview writers, actors, directors and musicians that inspire me about their creative process.

I’m passionate about sharing the skills I’ve learned as an actor and director with the people who can benefit from them the most. I taught acting and directing at AMDA College & Conservatory for 8 years. Now with my company, Kika Labs, I am an On Camera Performance Coach. I coach executives, entrepreneurs, creators, and performers (actors and singers) on confidence on camera and applying performance skills to live and video presentations. I create digital courses and creatively consult on content creation.

One through line in my work is looking for the light in the darkness as I hope to inspire all of us to find the courage to be our bravest selves.

The way I keep myself honest here is coming back to creating the person I want to be by making scary choices again and again. I have quit predictable positions and moved cities multiple times to continue my acting career and start my company. I have been an organ donor (living liver donor-ask me if you’re interested!) because I believe in the concept of generosity from what we can happily give. And I regularly dive into physical challenges that terrify but excite me; in just the last few years I’ve gone hang gliding, surfing, driven sports cars on racetracks, and got my motorcycle license! I have found that being brave is a muscle for me and the more I find ways to do things that excite me physically the more bravely I can show up in my art and business.

I love to work with people who have faith in their ideas but need a guide to help get them to the next step!

What can society do to ensure an environment that’s helpful to artists and creatives?

In the past, we have created a lot of models that are non-profit and donation based, or completely commercial, which can sometimes lead to extreme views of art as just being for “art’s sake” or “just for profit.” even though the art itself may be excellent.

I would love us create an entertainment model that is sustainable, inspiring, and partners with businesses making an impact in local communities. Many of these programs exist, but are not mainstream enough for the average creator or business professional to know that they exist and capitalize on them in a way that makes life easier and cheaper yet. I would love for small businesses and startups to partner with artists to create platforms making this easier for all.

For examples:

1) Small scale
-Shared space: When a business has times they are closed for a vacation or renovation or a house is empty waiting to be put on the market they can rent to small film production companies. When business space is vacant, partner with local arts organizations and chamber of commerces to put up gallery shows.
-Showcasing local vendors: when a successful TV show like Abbott Elementary is filmed in LA but set in Philadelphia, partner with local small businesses in Philadelphia to purchase locally accurate wardrobe, school crafts, and food. Of course individual businesses can reach out to local production companies as well!

2) Medium scale
-Professional trade: Partner existing businesses with production companies to lower costs. For example, the production company will film three local commercials at cost for a reduced rate space rental in an office building. This is something that some people do ad hoc but many business owners do not realize they can capitalize on!

3) Larger scale
For a much larger longer range example, partner with research and development teams within startups and universities to bring examples of future tech and cultural movements into the storytelling that we are seeing to get people excited about a positive vision for the future.

-Tech and Education: Professionals working in health care site ER as inspiring them to become doctors, and much of our current tech was originally dreamed up for Star Trek. In my production of Magic School Bus: Climate Challenge, I was able to have real conversations with people about how their individual actions could affect the environment for the better.
-Cultural: Designated drivers are a cultural standard now due to a storytelling movement on TV in the 90s started by Harvard University scholar Jay A. Winsten. He’s now looking to reduce distracted driving.
-Environmental: Source best in class ideas, like the TianJin Eco City partnership between Singapore and China that is a model of future sustainability practices, and set stories there to normalize possibilities.

There is already a lot of product placement happening from a commercial side for large corporations, so how can we harness that to head in a culturally positive direction?

Overall, I am excited about the possibilities of combining visionary businesses with the power of storytelling.

Is there a particular goal or mission driving your creative journey?

I am passionate about empowering creators.

As a Hollywood-based performance coach I surprisingly I have found that many of the best actors I have worked with are actually very sensitive, shy, and introverted. Only the clarity of having a compelling vision will provide enough momentum to break through mental blocks and help them to bring their full power and presence to a performance.

And I love to take my experience working with creators and business owners to craft their vision for their future business. Someone who may not feel comfortable getting in front of a camera themself can get past their concerns once they realize they are serving the larger overall vision for their business.

I created my own podcast “Creator’s Cafe” during the recent Hollywood strikes as I saw my community needed a place to have important conversations about crafting a vision for their future careers as the industry sands shift beneath their feet. We are currently experiencing a giant industry shift that is heartbreaking as many careers are dissolving, so I never want to make empty promises about what a creative career is going to look like, as it is evolving at a wild rate and we are right in the middle of the quicksand right now in Hollywood.

I do believe that storytelling in some form will always exist, and people who communicate with authenticity, love, and excellence in their craft will always be valuable to us as a society.

My goal is to encourage and empower my fellow creatives to bring the spirit of love and joy to the world with our art.

Contact Info:

• Website: https://www.kikalabs.com/
• Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/kikalabs/
• Linkedin: https://www.linkedin.com/feed/
• Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCD8qC06tJQoMi9pCIe2RERg
• Other: On Camera Academy: https://kikalabs.teachable.com/p/on-camera-academy1?fbclid=fbclid
  1:1 Zoom On Camera Coaching: https://kikalabs.teachable.com/p/confidence-on-camera-1

Image Credits

Christopher Griffith
John Anthony Sutton