We were lucky to catch up with Jennifer Stinson recently and have shared our conversation below.
Jennifer, thanks for joining us, excited to have you contributing your stories and insights. We’d love to hear about the things you feel your parents did right and how those things have impacted your career and life.
My parents raised me in nature. I was born in Juneau, Alaska, which is a beautiful, lush, green rainforest. My family moved around quite a bit, so I was able to experience the diversity of Alaska’s wilderness, from tundra to mountains to glaciers to the rugged coastline. It was the 80s when no one had internet or cell phones, so I spent a lot of my time playing outside. Some of my childhood experiences included; living in a cabin in the forest with no electricity or running water, picking buckets of wild strawberries from a garden that was originally planted by my great-grandparents, bouncing along the air currents in a small plane with my dad, sleeping outside in the summer when it’s light all night long, skating on frozen ponds in the winter, making snow forts, watching the Aurora Borealis, eating fresh-caught salmon and halibut. I could go on and on, but you get the picture.
I didn’t realize it at the time, but in retrospect I see how this helped me develop a deep connection with nature that I appreciate to this day. There are so many beautiful places on this Earth! Now I live in Southern California where I enjoy the soft, golden light in the summer evenings and the purple Jacaranda trees. I spend time outside every day. I have a garden. I take my kids on vacations to National Parks. Spending time in nature helps me maintain my mental health and feel connected to something powerful that is much bigger than me.
As always, we appreciate you sharing your insights and we’ve got a few more questions for you, but before we get to all of that can you take a minute to introduce yourself and give our readers some of your back background and context?
Hi, I’m Dr. Jennifer Stinson. I’m a clinical psychologist. I have a private practice in San Marino, California where I provide psychotherapy to individuals who want to heal from trauma, manage intense emotions, cope with stressful situations or navigate big life changes. I am certified in a type of therapy called EMDR, which stands for Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing. (That’s a mouthful, I know!) Basically, it is a psychotherapy treatment that helps heal deep trauma. It can also help build resilience and enhance personal strengths. I use this type of therapy a lot with my clients because it is so effective. But I work from other modalities as well, such as interpersonal therapy with an attachment focus. I work on building very strong therapeutic relationships with my clients. My style is warm, and calm.
Aside from doing direct clinical work, I’m also involved in supporting other therapists with their professional growth. I run a weekly consultation group for therapists as part of the Soultenders organization. And, I have taught several continuing education classes for therapists about attachment theory.
In all of my endeavors, I try to bring my creativity into the process. For example, when I taught the attachment classes, I challenged myself to illustrate all of the slides. Instead of finding images on the internet, I drew pictures to go along with each concept I was discussing. It helped me use both the right and left sides of my brain and made for a much more interesting presentation. In my life, I have learned to follow my instincts with creative pursuits. I don’t have formal training in art or writing, but I have written and published two books (one of which I also illustrated) by following through on my creative ideas. The two books are fun and playful, not academic. One is called “The Inappropriate Baby Book,” which started out as a gift for a friend who was having a baby. The other is a children’s book called “Even Fairies Fart” which is about letting go of perfectionism.
Training and knowledge matter of course, but beyond that what do you think matters most in terms of succeeding in your field?
It’s funny because, to become a psychologist, I had to complete five years of graduate school, several internships, write a dissertation and then pass two licensing exams. So, right off the bat, I was bombarded with training and knowledge. And then, when I finished all of that and actually started to work in this field, I found out that I only knew a small fraction of what I needed! I had so much to learn about the complexity of this job and how to equip myself to be good at it.
In my opinion, being a good psychologist requires the highest level of self-care. This is a wonderful, meaningful career, and at the same time it can also be very emotionally heavy. If you work in this field, you will hear trauma stories that break your heart. You will work with people who are deeply suffering. You will have to do difficult things, like making child abuse reports. You will feel responsible for keeping people safe when they are behaving in destructive ways. It is not uncommon for therapists to experience vicarious trauma and burnout, both of which I have felt at times. So, you have to keep yourself in top condition emotionally. I guess it’s like an athlete who has to stay in good physical condition. How do you do that as a therapist? First and foremost, you must learn to be really compassionate with yourself! And you have to take care of your basic needs for sleep, nutritious food, exercise, supportive relationships, your own therapy, spending time in nature and doing fun activities. It is not a luxury to take good care of yourself. It is critically important for the quality and sustainability of doing the job! All the knowledge and skills are useless if you are burnt out.
We often hear about learning lessons – but just as important is unlearning lessons. Have you ever had to unlearn a lesson?
I used to compartmentalize the different roles I perform in my daily life because I believed they all required different skills from me. Like, being a psychologist was one role. But, being a mom or a wife or a friend or a creative person were all different and separate roles. It felt like I was switching hats all the time. It has helped me to unlearn that!
At one point, when I felt I was trying to juggle too many different things, I asked myself “Who am I underneath it all? What are the common denominators in all the different aspects of my life?” After some reflection, I identified that the qualities that matter most to me are compassion, creativity, laughter and love. When I try to embody these qualities, I feel like I am being my genuine self no matter what role I am in. So, whether I am sitting with a therapy client or having dinner with my family or teaching a course or writing a story, it is all just an extension of me. That feels a lot more grounding and helps me feel like I am flowing throughout my day rather than switching from task to task in a disjointed way.
Contact Info:
- Website: https://www.soultenders.com/therapists/?_search_facet=jennifer%20stinson
- Instagram: @itsjenniferstinson
