We caught up with the brilliant and insightful Jennifer  Lehr a few weeks ago and have shared our conversation below.

Jennifer, thanks for taking the time to share your stories with us today Over the course of your career, have you seen or experienced your field completely flip-flop or change course on something?

Our world is continually evolving and changing. Think back to the days before people used dating apps to meet people or even before we had mobile phones. I still remember our family phone number from when I was a kid – a number I haven’t used in years.

I am part of the U-turn in therapy and couples therapy. As I worked with couples, I saw how little they understood relationship basics, how much they needed help, and how few affordable and effective resources were available. Many of the couples I saw could not afford what they needed: weekly sessions. I began to imagine a platform where couples could get the support they needed – especially if they could not afford ongoing couples therapy.

As I dreamed about a solution, I struggled conceptually with how a learning platform could work without the support of a live therapist. Eventually, as I took advanced trainings, researched, and studied, I began to figure out how to systematize information that would move a couple from disconnection and pain to connection and contentment.

My career changed from working with individuals and couples to creating WeConcile (now an app) to help couples. If only the journey were that easy. We made every mistake imaginable but eventually, we had a desktop program.

Meanwhile, the world had changed even more. Attention spans had shortened, and apps were a new source of fascination and focus. We gritted our teeth. We would need to separate from our coding partner, who wasn’t willing to continue on this journey, find a new developer and invest a lot of money into turning our desktop program into an app.

In the process, I developed as a person. I wasn’t just using my therapist skills, but many other skills. Self-actualization often takes us into unexpected roles and ways of using ourselves. We often must expand beyond older identities. For me, this looked like a Russian doll. The older parts of me were still there, but new identities had formed around them.

Awesome – so before we get into the rest of our questions, can you briefly introduce yourself to our readers.

My story is long and winding. My father, Paul Lehr, was a prolific science fiction illustrator and artist. I used to sit with him in his studio and watch him paint. I remember watching cities, landscapes, atmospheres, and worlds created out of nothing. A blank white canvas could become whatever he imagined. What I took from this was that we can make anything we imagine. This piece of knowledge has both inspired and empowered me.

After art school, lots of creative writing, working in the film industry in the camera department (I loved images), and tons of personal therapy, I realized I was more interested in creating ourselves than creating objects to be viewed.

I went back to school to take the last few courses I needed for my bachelor’s degree and then went on to graduate school. After that, I started on the path of becoming a therapist. In addition to having a face-to-face therapy practice, I ran SoulCollage® groups and continued with creative writing. I wrote and posted articles on my blog to help people learn more about growing, healing, and having healthy relationships. I continued to grow and put my personal growth into my work.

I knew from my history, and the people I worked with that wounds (gaps where relational needs were disappointed, disrupted, or worse) were often at the root of our difficulties. I also knew that Emotionally Focused Therapy was the most effective couples therapy modality. Because of its focus on our deep feelings and attachment, it was one of the modalities that I studied intensely to be able to write the WeConcile content. I developed a new language and way of working. We focused not on symptoms but on what was driving the symptoms.

Throughout, I became more and more in touch with my intuition. I learned to “hear” what my inner voices were telling me, which way to turn, and what the next step would be. I began to trust myself and the universe in a way I hadn’t before. I had to develop and grow to become stronger, to become someone who could manifest a new way of helping the world.

Let’s talk about resilience next – do you have a story you can share with us?

I don’t know how much we teach about persistence and resilience in our society. I remember as a teenager when I was making my portfolio to apply to art school. I arranged various items to create a still life. I painted for 50 minutes or so and then took a break. Then another 50 minutes or so. Until half the day was gone. This helped me develop the ability to persevere. This connects to my resilience because I simply would not give up. I developed the strength I needed.

After I moved in with my second husband, I became very sick. This changed my practice (I had to work less) and made me focus more on writing. Six years later, I was finally diagnosed with Lyme disease. I went through treatment after treatment. I wanted to live. I wanted to get better. All the while, I was working on WeConcile. It was incredibly challenging to keep going when I just wanted to lay in bed or cry. But the part of me that perseveres would not give up. So, I continued. I continued when we went over budget, when our coding partner wasn’t responsive, when our UI designer fell into mental illness and disappeared. I continued because I wouldn’t give up.

Then when we finally (after years of delay) had our desktop platform live and realized the world had changed and that we needed to switch to an app, we still continued. We continued when the app went 3x over budget, and we were out of money. Instead of quitting, we began working on raising money.

Part of my journey is about actualizing my personal power and bringing something to life, which is not easy. In a way, it is an initiation. A walking through difficulties that brings one to more power and a wholly more evolved self.

Part of my resilience comes from my relationship with my husband because he provided a safe base for me. Without his support and involvement, I could not have gotten to where I am now.

Training and knowledge matter of course, but beyond that what do you think matters most in terms of succeeding in your field?

I wish I had known more when I started. How long the journey would be. How much of myself it would take. How much growth would be required. I wish I had found some advisors instead of taking this project without a mentor. I wish I had known about raising money. In a sense, I’ve had the journey of the naïve. I learned as I ran into roadblocks, but I wasn’t well prepared when I started.

Contact Info:

• Website: https://weconcile.com/
• Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/weconcile/
• Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/WeConcile/
• Linkedin: https://www.linkedin.com/in/jennifer-j-lehr-5846718/
• Twitter: https://twitter.com/we_info/
• Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCsd-X1BvZv4l4jKkWQmsZ7Q
• Other: https://www.tiktok.com/@jenniferlehrmft?lang=en