We caught up with the brilliant and insightful Jenn Goldman a few weeks ago and have shared our conversation below.

Awesome – so before we get into the rest of our questions, can you briefly introduce yourself to our readers.

Jenner Rose Goldman and Caryn Meg Hirshleifer became authors because Jennifer had a stroke at the young age of 30. While Jennifer remained in a coma, her mom Caryn documented and wrote down her journey and recovery. When Jennifer came out of the coma, both mother and daughter realized what a blessing it was that Jenn woke up. Jen said, ” I feel lucky to be alive.” They thought their story could help others and so they decided to write In The Face Of Catastrophe.

And while Jennifer navigates her recovery, both she and Caryn have learned that being present has been the biggest blessing.

Can you share a story from your journey that illustrates your resilience?

What’s the kindest thing anyone has ever done for you?

Jenn: “I think the people who were there for me in the hospital…how dedicated they were during my recovery. They stayed by my side the whole time. They never left me.”

Caryn: “Her sister Amanda brought in the bear she had been sleeping with since she was a little girl. Amanda thought that ‘Beary’ – who carried her scent – could bring Jenn home literally and metaphorically. Amanda ordered blue hospital scrubs for Beary and brought him to the ICU clad in his surgical outfit. Amanda introduced Beary and told the recovery team that Beary is essential to Jenn’s recovery. The hospital staff in the ICU basically treated Beary like he was a part of the team. We would come into the ICU and Beary would either be in bed with him or sitting on Jenn’s tray watching over Jenn. They were so respectful of Beary.”

There was also another story when Jenn went to acute inpatient rehab after the hospital. They didn’t know anything about her. She couldn’t speak. There was misinformation about what she had been doing in her life prior. It asked myself how they could rehabilitate someone without knowing anything about who the person was, especially since Jenn couldn’t use her voice to tell them. It was then that I decided to write a letter to the head of the team, Dr. Sarah Khan. I explained the qualities that made Jenn who she was, where she had come from and where we needed her to get back to. Dr. Khan circulated the letter and the entire team was made aware. When people came in to talk to Jenn, they knew about her aromatherapy company, her products. They became invested in her recovery and in bringing her back home.”

Lesson

Jenn: ‘This experience has taught me many lessons, such as the power of:

Presence. Of not getting ahead of yourself. Of taking life one step of time. It’s not helpful or productive to start to worry about the past or future or ‘what ifs’, such as will I ever recover?
Attitude. Your mindset matters. It’s crucial to your recovery to remain positive. And, it feels better.
Relinquishing victimhood – I refuse to be a victim to my circumstances. Being a victim is a cop out.
Choice – You get to choose whether you will view life with a glass half full or glass half empty outlook

Caryn: This experience has shown me how important it is to put a boundary around what you will worry about at any given moment.

Take things one step at a time
Don’t take on more than you need to
Discipline your thoughts. Do not get ahead of yourself.

And finally, it is so crucial to always proceed with a sense of humor. There are so many moments where humor played a part in my recovery.”

Caryn: “In the beginning when Jenn was really sick, the nurses and doctors would ask her to show them one finger if she could hear them and two fingers if she could see them. Amanda was so desperate to see the old snarky side of Jenn re-emerge that she reminded Jenn of her middle finger and taught her to use it when asked to show a finger. Jenn started to do that. Soon, aides, nurses, residents, even attendings would stop by asking to see Jenn’s finger. Jenn became an overnight sensation and when she was at Glen Cove Hospital in rehab, hospital staff from every floor would come to have Jenn show them her middle finger.”

Have you ever had to pivot?

Taking A Risk
Caryn: Jenn chose to end her relationship of 4 years with her then fiancee. She said, ‘this is not working for me. She was not on equal footing with him. It was incredibly brave. She knew he wasn’t giving her what she needed or wanted, so she ended it. It was scary and brave.”

Jenn:” I could tell he was pushing me away and that didn’t feel good at all. He was too passive. I had to make a move and take action.

The Present
Caryn: Jenn’s recovery is a work in progress. Jenn is different from the way she was. Her brain is different than the way it was. The blood washed away the defenses she had formed in her youth.”

A Defining Moment
Jenn: The big defining moment for everyone around me was when I woke up and said “I am grateful to be alive.”
Caryn: I could not believe it…Her sister Amanda said – how the fuck could you be grateful? I am so angry. Jenn meant it though. She was profoundly grateful. Just glad to be breathing. Period. And Jenn would sing while watching tv. She knew words to songs we were like…how do you know this. She was a lyric savant. It was incredible.”
Jenn: BTW _ I was always good with music, mom.

5 Generation Fashion Empire
Jenn: “I actually went into the family business a year before it happened. I am in the self described role of ‘chief people’ manager.”
Caryn: “She gets people in a way that others don’t. She’s very intuitive,”

Contact Info:

• Website: https://www.inthefaceofcatastrophe.com
• Instagram: @jenniferrosegoldman
• Facebook: @jenniferrosegoldman

Image Credits

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