We caught up with the brilliant and insightful Jenelle Hanes a few weeks ago and have shared our conversation below.

Jenelle, thanks for joining us, excited to have you contributing your stories and insights. Parents can play a significant role in affecting how our lives and careers turn out – and so we think it’s important to look back and have conversations about what our parents did that affected us positive (or negatively) so that we can learn from the billions of experiences in each generation. What’s something you feel your parents did right that impacted you positively.

Wow, this is such a beautiful question! Let me begin by saying my parents raised me. AND, let me be clear, they more than raised me. I must go back a bit to help you understand. In 2016, I was able to return to work (while I was building my own business) with an employer that allowed me to use my niche. I left in three years prior because my husband and I were pretty confident we had completed our family with our third child. We also thought staying home was an option for a little while. A month after returning to work, I learned that my mother was diagnosed with ALS (Leu Gehrig’s Disease). Talk about a body blow!

I was stressed and my body was extremely tight to the point that I would scrunch over with a hump in my back for days. I finally decided to work this stress out through exercise but one day, I literally sank to the floor from a plank position. I had this realization that I could do “all the things” and still become ill like my mother. I thought that if I worked out, walked and maintain a routine of exercise she would live longer and so would I. That very same day and during the very same work out, I saw a beautiful friend whom I knew suffered the loss of her mother. I also knew I could ask her a personal question such as the one I’m about to share. So I did, “may I ask you something?” she replied, “of course.” I asked “How did you handle the passing of your mother?” She responded, “I was grateful, I was grateful because I was 17 and she raised me!” I thought to myself…that’s perspective.

I left that class, sat in my car, and bawled, I mean I ugly Bawled! And then I realized she is right, my mother more than raised me, she saw me graduate from high school, college, and graduate school. She witnessed me date my future husband, get married, and have all three of my children. She MORE THAN RAISED ME, she raised me through the most crucial stages in a growing girl and maturing woman’s life. And guess what..she did so with, my first best example of a black and powerful man, my father!

Jenelle, before we move on to more of these sorts of questions, can you take some time to bring our readers up to speed on you and what you do?

My name is Jenelle Mallette Hanes, I am a daughter and sibling of four, hailing from Raleigh, North Carolina. I am a wife, and a mother of three beautiful children. I was born and raised there and eventually met my best friend and spouse, Jerry L. Hanes, Jr. of Winston Salem, NC. I am the proud decedent of four generations of college-educated African Americans. My parents and three of my grandparents attended and graduated from the illustrious Historically Black College and University (HBCU) of North Carolina Agricultural and Technical State University, AGGIE PRIDE! My father’s mother attended and graduated from another illustrious HBCU by the name of Fayetteville State University (FSU). She would later share that this was not her first choice but a family friend offered to pay for her education if she would attend FSU; she knew this was her way to being a “city girl” as she affectionately would say. That would tickle me to hear her say, “city girl,” especially when she reminsced about leaving the little country town of Maxton, NC for college. You may ask, why do I need to hear about how and where my family was educated?

Education was my passkey just as it was for my grandparents, their siblings, and believe it or not their parents. You see I think the coolest stories to share are the stories about my maternal and paternal families’ value of education. One of my first passkeys would not be afforded to my great-grandfather because he lacked an education beyond I believe, the second or third grade and lacked the ability to read. Therefore, he was denied a job at the railroad. The job required him to read signs that supported the directions of the railroad tracks.

This feeling of rejection would coin him the Harriet Tubman of education in our family – “You go to college or you die!” The rejection turned into redemption and would afford his eight children college degrees from HBCUs. Excuse me while I honor the 1890 land grant universities, teacher’s colleges, and private institutes blazing the trail and duplicating the keys for success in my family.

You remember the “city girl,” that was my paternal grandmother, well she is my second passkey. She was provided a free education which eventually led her to become a teacher and early preschool owner for more than 30 years. Her pass key would unlock doors for the future of engineers, doctors, lawyers, chiefs of staff, priests and so many more successful scholars that attended Nicest Nursery located in southeast Raleigh, North Carolina. Fun fact, though – her first choice was none other than, the NC A& TSU, GHOE!

My historical family has produced more than 100 college degrees and still continues to send children to colleges and universities because we value the opportunities that exist in a classroom. There are life-long friendships to be made, business partnerships to foster, deals to be brokered and mentors to be acquired. So how is this related to my latest venture, well, I value the stories of my people – my African American people whose stories began with their mother (the first teacher), a classroom teacher, a schoolmate, on the playground, in the library, or in their community. All of these places and people I name exist where we all begin to learn many years ago, the school house (I know that’s old school, but, hey).

Two of my favorite pass times are watching documentaries or talking to people to learn their stories. I began to think about how I could be a conduit for some of the best stories I have heard in my community. I started to realize that whether we talked every day or once a month, I know some dope people with dope stories, and these stories need to be documented too. Hence the Documenting Dreams podcast show was born. Documenting Dreams is my contribution to sharing the history of the dope African American people in “my village” or next door to it. I am currently finishing up season two and plan to release our first episodes in the month of August. I can’t wait for everyone to hear about the black artists, authors, real estate investors, educators, doctors, and lawyers that I know. We discuss everything from personal trauma to remarkable triumphs, favorite childhood memories to our favorite songs. It’s just a good time and my “happy place” right now.

How about pivoting – can you share the story of a time you’ve had to pivot?

This interview is an illustration of my pivot and not so much professionally but personally. Camp Senah was a beautiful experience and journey and we will soon return to our mission for the camp – it will be slightly different this time around but we will be back. For now, I have to focus on my mental and physical health. My pivot shifted to podcasting because learning about the world around me helps me have a balanced way of thinking. Planning my guests appearances and shows gives me time to consider what’s important for growth and my greatest love…sharing. When people listen to the show, you will hear stories about things that I have shared with others but more importantly the space that we have shared. My guests and I have shared time that included a broke college meal, influencing our youth, a workspace, or a moment that kept us both going and motivated to do our best. You will learn that doing the best for ourselves allowed us to do our best for others. I was reminded in one of my early episodes I needed to believe in myself the most and in the second season, I was reminded that I AM Amazing! So this pivot is about my mental health and its importance to surviving this unpredictable world we live in. AND a reminder to LIVE! If it brings you joy and peace, Jump IN! The water is cooler and calm when you put yourself first. The world gets the best version of you, and even as I complete this interview I am realizing, I want my family and friends to get the best part of me. To be clear though, the best of part me includes all the things, but it’s authentic!

Learning and unlearning are both critical parts of growth – can you share a story of a time when you had to unlearn a lesson?

A lesson I had to unlearn, was that just being in the room is not enough. Someone reminded me that how you show up is completely up to you. So when you enter the room show up with the intention to get something done. Whether it’s closing a deal, meeting one new person, or learning something new about yourself…Get something out of the room! Part of that unlearning was that I don’t have to be the imposter – I can be who I am and it’s okay. I have a purpose in any room I step into. Sometimes the purpose is to learn that you do not want a seat at this table OR to learn that my chair was built differently and that’s why it belongs. I bring a diversity of thought and I can show up and spark an idea for a new way to accomplish the same goal. I truly understand The Purpose-Driven Life by Rick Warren is about using my gift to bring forth God’s light and I get to do it with my own special gift. My gift is mine and no one else’s. It’s the kind of gift that brings me infinite joy. So much joy that others will go and chase their own gift. Tekoa Hash, the founding partner of The Teknique Agency is a well-known Beauty and Lifestyle Talent Management Firm and brand. She reminds me often that if I put one foot in front of the other, I can take time to curate my gift and my gift will make room for me. Jeremiah 29:11 – for I know the plans that I have for you, plans to prosper you…take your time, the plan is set up for your gift to prosper!

Contact Info:

• Linkedin: https://www.linkedin.com/in/jenellemhanes/
• Other: https://www.d14toastmasters.org/empowering-voices-district-14s-discussions-on-effective-communication-and-leadership-podcast/

Image Credits
Photography by harperimageingco_llc and Black Soil NC and Cat Harper Studios for the Headshot