We recently connected with Jen Friel and have shared our conversation below.

Jen, looking forward to hearing all of your stories today. What were some of the most unexpected problems you’ve faced in your career and how did you resolve those issues?

My biggest “problem” or “issue” was technically something I was born with. I spent 37 years thinking I was “neurotypical” only to one day literally wake up and realize I’m not only on the spectrum, but I also have the gift of synesthesia.

Synesthesia is a neurological condition that you are either born with, can receive via a blunt trauma to the brain, or by doing psychedelics. (Spoiler alert: I’ve done all three!!!)

I’ve always known I’m different, but instead of understanding the core essence of it, I just called myself “quirky” or “weird” … or my favorite “constantly filtered into the other folder.” Those labels led to self deprecation, and effected my self esteem in a way that didn’t allow me to fully accept myself and what I have been able to accomplish with these gifts.

Synesthesia affects every minute of every day of my life. I just had no idea it wasn’t “normal.”

As a result of these diagnoses, I am the most grounded and confident I have ever been.

I can not only finally accept what I have, but I can actually harness it to use it as a tool.

I am a real life Poker Face, and have even followed suit in using being a projector synesthete to fight crime (but only part time … for now).

As always, we appreciate you sharing your insights and we’ve got a few more questions for you, but before we get to all of that can you take a minute to introduce yourself and give our readers some of your back background and context?

I was late diagnosed with all of these neurodivergent conditions …

Hyperlexia: I taught myself how to type when I was two. I called it “matching the shapes in my Pound Puppies books” on the computer – I thought it was magic. Signs of hyperlexia include, fascination with numbers and letters, extremely good auditory and visual memory, sensory sensitivity, struggle with verbal communication, and word repetition.

Synesthesia: I have a lot of different types of synesthesia. Most notably, I see and hear vibrational energy (that’s how I got diagnosed). I can also see and feel time like it’s a tangible “thing” That’s how I successfully crashed the Grammy Awards and then FOUND the person I was seeking to meet. It’s truly an unbelievable superpower.

Prosopagnosia (aka Facial Blindness): I recognize people by their shapes aka auras, which act like a unique fingerprint. I see faces, I know they are there, but I don’t recognize people by their face. I’ve testified in a court of law three times before the age of 30 and thanks to a photographic memory, I make a great eye witness yet struggle to identify people in a lineup.

ADHD: I finished high school at 16 with honors without reading a single book. I couldn’t focus and struggled with reading comprehension. I instead used chat rooms, forums, and cliff notes. The three categories of ADHD symptoms include: short attention span, difficulty listening to others, impulsivity, and hyperactivity.

Autism: Finding out I’m autistic was a game-changer. I lead a completely different life now in the best way ever. I am more authentic, genuine, and can heal a lot of the trauma that comes with being an undiagnosed female.

Dyslexia: Numbers and letters sometimes “jump” on a page. It’s more pronounced when I am stressed. I’ve made a career as a writer because I hear notes when I write which helps counteract being dyslexic.

While aspects of my conditions are considered a disability, I personally consider them super powers.

I took an idea and bartered social media to live for a year getting to 12 states with only $10 to my name. “Influencer marketing” wasn’t a “thing” yet, so I taught businesses and celebrities how to use social media in exchange for food, water, clothing, or shelter.

I documented the adventures along the way, which included crashing the Grammy Awards (and finding the person I crashed the event to meet), dancing on stage with Prince and Halle Berry, going out on over 103 dates in 9 months (accidentally using the OkCupid algorithm), and flying cross-country with Billy Gibbons of ZZ Top.

I’ve been a guest of the family who hosted the Queen of England, met Jack Dorsey and Rick Rubin (outside of a teepee while dressed in a skeleton onesie), and even had (multiple) dinner(s) and moonshine with Pablo Escobar’s surgeon.

While the road has not been smooth, I am proud of myself for how I handled each “bump.”

At 17, I set a legal precedent in the state of Connecticut for being the victim of stalking in a same-sex relationship. I was stalked by four of my best friends, and the case was so severe that 20 years later, the restraining orders are still active. I was also hit in the head with a brick (a random act of violence) and watched the man get sentenced to 19 years in jail, of which he served 10.

Talk Nerdy to Me™, Lover had a stage show 24 hours after the attack, and not only did I host it, I wrote, produced, and directed the eight after. I have a force inside of me that (when activated) that is like a dog to a bone. Which is how I convinced the doctor to release me from a 5150 after only 48 hours. I thought I was having a nervous breakdown. What I now know happened is an autistic meltdown combined with unprocessed trauma.

My life story (which had nothing to do with my actual life) was bought back in 2015 by Jerry Bruckheimer, only to have it sell in a four-way bidding war between ABC, CBS, NBC, and FOX. It was eventually sold to CBS as a put pilot, to which Les Moonves (Chairman of CBS at the time) chose not to pay, which resulted in me getting my life rights, trademarks, and intellectual property back.

For the first time in a decade, I own everything I created and now also understand HOW I’ve been able to create so many things, and I want to help others identify if they are neurodivergent too.

Let’s talk about resilience next – do you have a story you can share with us?

To quote the great Chumbawamba, “I get knocked down … but I get up again, you’re NEVER going to keep me down.”

I have had hilariously horrible things happen to me over the years. I’ve not only been around the block, I’ve thrown a block party, and then wiggled my way down the sidewalk. In 2007, I lost everything I owned in a massive cockroach infestation. (This is a thing – sorry to be the one to tell you.)

I remember so vividly, being told by the board of health that my apartment had been condemned. I cried tears that day from places I didn’t know existed. By losing my belongings, I had to reinvent myself in a way I had never done before. I didn’t have the protection of “things” to define who I was, I had a clean slate and needed to figure out what that looked like. It was a blessing in disguise as two years later, I then gave everything up that I owned (which really wasn’t a lot at that point) and began bartering social media to live. Had I not already lost everything, I might not have been as brave.

Outside of marrying my husband, it was one of the best decisions I have ever made.

In your view, what can society to do to best support artists, creatives and a thriving creative ecosystem?

There needs to be more awareness (particularly for females) on neurodivergent conditions. 22% of undiagnosed autistic women who are hospitalized because of their mental health by age 25. As someone who 5150ed myself, the shame associated with hospitalization is unreal. I had two previous failed suicide attempts, and I knew I didn’t want to die, I just couldn’t keep living with all the pain and OVERWHELMING sensory problems.

The world was extremely difficult to navigate not knowing I was neurodivergent. I took people for their word, because I’m a person of mine! I’m not victimizing myself in this process, I’m learning to love my younger self who knew something was “off” but due to medical sexism was misdiagnosed with a series of “diagnoses” and drugs that I never should have been taking in the first place.

I am truly on a mission to help others who may be neurodivergent and not know it.
My life is COMPLETELY changed.
It does get better.
Scouts honor.

Contact Info:

• Website: https://www.talknerdytome.com
• Instagram: talknerdytomelover
• Facebook: facebook.com/jenfriel
• Linkedin: https://www.linkedin.com/in/jenfriel/
• Twitter: twitter.com/jenfriel
• Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/jenfriel

Image Credits
Jasmina Kimova