We’re excited to introduce you to the always interesting and insightful Jay Wylie. We hope you’ll enjoy our conversation with Jay below.

Jay, looking forward to hearing all of your stories today. We’d love to hear the story behind how you got your first job in field that you currently practice in.

When I first got out of the Navy, I knew I had to find what was next for me. However, since my alcoholism had ended my career in a very public and painful fashion, I knew it was going to be a more difficult road than I had originally thought. I tried my hand at the defense industry and though I found some success and was good at the jobs I was doing, my past always came back to haunt me. After getting laid off/let go for the 3rd time, I decided I needed to find out what my Higher Power wanted me to do when I grew up vice what I wanted to do or what I thought I would be good at. After talking with a lot of trusted allies in the recovery field I decided I wanted to give back and do something to help Vets. I went back to school using my VA benefits and started working on a Drug and Alcohol Counselor Certificate. A colleague in the recovery field started showing me the ropes and when his 2 main assistants left unexpectedly, I stepped in to take their places. Now I manage the program! Goes to show that when a door closes a window opens somewhere else – we just never know when or where!

Jay, love having you share your insights with us. Before we ask you more questions, maybe you can take a moment to introduce yourself to our readers who might have missed our earlier conversations?

I was a career naval officer for over 22 years. In fact, I was pretty successful, becoming the Commanding Officer of a Guided Missile Destroyer. However, in that time I developed a serious drinking problem – one that abruptly and painfully ended my naval career. But as bad as it was at the time it was the best thing that ever happened to me as that’s what it took to get me sober. Now, with 12 years in recovery, I manage Confidential Recovery, and Intensive Outpatient Treatment Program for Substance Use Disorder that specializes in helping Veterans and First Responders to overcome their issues with substance abuse and achieve sustainable, life-long recovery. We are part of the VA’s Community Care Program and are directly connected with the VA Alcohol and Drug Treatment Program. We see between 20-50 veterans a week. And through this experience we have determined that most Vets in recovery need more help with dealing with life problems beyond substance use. So, we founded a 501c3 called the Veterans Navigation Center to help Vets navigated all the resources that are available to them in the community. Our Veteran Peer navigators are veterans who can provide peer support and shepherd the veteran through what can be a very daunting and scary transition back to civil society. We stay engaged and encourage our vets so that they can be their best version of themselves, both in life and in recovery. So now I am a very happy husband and father, am active in the recovery community, and am staying connected to my fellow veterans…especially those who experienced a few bumps in their careers!

Can you share a story from your journey that illustrates your resilience?

When I left the Navy, my life was in a shambles. My career was over, I had a huge black mark on my record, and I had lost my retirement. Most importantly, I had to face the fact that I was an alcoholic and needed help. But it was that bottom that helped me make the changes I needed to in my life. First, I was able to ask for help and then I was willing to accept the help offered. I did not spend a lot of time worrying about what I had lost but rather focusing on what I still had – my health, my experience, my relationships, for example – and how I could help others with these assets. And I was willing to listen. I heard a woman say at a recovery meeting that “Sometimes the worst day of your life is the best thing that every happens to you”. And in that moment, I realized I had found a new purpose – my negative experience could be a means of reaching others and inspiring them to embrace their own recoveries. Since then, I have worked diligently to help others in recovery, and in particular veterans, to realize no matter how badly we have messed up there is always a path to recovery!

Other than training/knowledge, what do you think is most helpful for succeeding in your field?

My field is built on listening and empathy. You can’t preach to another human what they need to do to recover and turn their life around. You have to listen, to hear their story, and to make them feel heard. You have to reassure them that it is okay, that there is no judgment and that many others have felt the same way, experienced the same things, and they have survived and lived through it. The key is to meet the person where they are at, to plant a seed of hope, and then to gently walk alongside them as the put that first foot forward on the path to their recovery. We may have lots of degrees and letters after our name but that means nothing to someone in pain. They need to know they have an ally they can trust, and ally who will help them to define and achieve their personal recovery goals, and then will help them to achieve them one step at a time.

Contact Info:

• Website: www.confidentialrecovery.com
• Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/veteransnavigationcenter/
• Linkedin: https://www.linkedin.com/company/veterans-navigation-center/
• Other: : https://veteransnavigationcenter.org/