We’re excited to introduce you to the always interesting and insightful Janice Ringstaff. We hope you’ll enjoy our conversation with Janice below.

Alright, Janice thanks for taking the time to share your stories and insights with us today. Do you think your parents have had a meaningful impact on you and your journey?

My parents did many things right so it is a bit challenging to identify all of them. However, here are a few of them; though not in chronological order. My parents (mother and second dad, same as others might label him ‘step-dad’), were prayerful, planners, and to the best they could be, protectors. I, like most kids, didn’t agree with their perspectives and choices, but negotiation in their household was quite limited. It mostly didn’t take place, they had rules, expectations, and consequences. My parents were part of “the village” spoken of often in churches and some social circles. I was a village child, meaning our home was geographically located in the same areas as our extended family. Grandparents, uncles, aunts, cousins, and neighbors who were honorary family members surrounded us. (My biological dad died just before my ninth birthday). These ‘special family members’ were related, not by blood, but by longevity. Most were present before I was born and maintained a significant place of belonging throughout their lives. Their eyes, arms, and hearts were open to everyone in the community. Where my parents’ vision and hearing may have ended, due to me being out of range the neighbors, and others would pick up. The community radar worked better than today’s internet. If anything was done that was troublesome, by the time I reached home the incident had been reviewed. The consequences were decided, so only the means of carrying out the actions were needed (LOL… punishment, loss of privileges, extra chores, limited contact with friends). Along with safety and protection, my parents shared their love, respect for others, a strong sense of community, their charitable spirit, work ethic, heart for service, desire for education, a foundation for stability, and a will to make a meaningful difference. My dad’s advice was simple, give to God first, pay yourself, keep good credit, guard your reputation and name, love and look out for your family, go see some things, and treat people fairly. My mom’s directives were usually shared while she was cooking, sewing, driving, or working on her ceramic creations.
My teen years were most like my peers, not sitting under my parents unless you were summoned, except for Sundays. My parents did something that I still use today and it is a therapy technique called the Family Meeting or Talk-time.
Every Sunday evening, we’d sit around the dining room table and they would ask us about how the previous week had gone. Not that they didn’t already know, but this was their time allowing us to “fess-up, come clean, air out issues, and collect our allowance. This was also something that my second dad introduced to us…. who does that… no one that we knew.
This formal inquisition felt weird until I realized the payoff was not too shabby, at least not until they deducted dues for not doing your chores the week before!!! This ritual heightened my awareness of accountability, honesty, cooperation, and communication. When asked, “How did your week go?”, we could not respond with a simple “good, bad, fine” response, they wanted details. Again, it’s not like they didn’t already know; my mom was very active in the PTA, all three schools (secretary, planner, President, or something else. My aunt was in education, my grandmother was a local businesswoman, for a while, my cousin was the mayor… who didn’t know what we were doing??? So the best solution again was ownership., if you did or didn’t do something, own up to it. Most of the principles that I support my current practice on are the same ones that my parents lived in front of me. Act as if Jesus is sitting next to you, do the right thing first, then you don’t have to worry about the clean up later.

Janice, before we move on to more of these sorts of questions, can you take some time to bring our readers up to speed on you and what you do?

Being honored to use the words of one of my sisters: Hello, I am nana, mom, sister, friend, nurse, counselor, mentor, servant… Dr. Janice Ringstaff. My journey up to this point has been filled with joy, sorry, pain, celebrations, laughs, tears, cheers, dance, doubt, and all the things that life brings us. But in the standards of the song, I ain’t no ways, tired, I’ve come too far from where I started from… The road to my current status began in a very small town in central Alabama. A place where harmony, unity, and “knowing” resided. My public school education was intertwined with teachers, family, and a community that encouraged the kids to strive for the best possible outcomes. When I speak of my earlier life, I recall the many professionals, skilled laborers, day-workers, mill, mine, and railroad workers that were settled in our community. These hard-working people did all they could to make life look easy, clean, comfortable, and promising. For students, straight A’s and B’s were often rewarded in some tangible fashion and if C’s were the best one could do, they were rewarded and encouraged as well. Education, family, and fun were the norm for us. If parents were not home, the neighbors were automatically commissioned to be on the watch. Everyone had access to whatever was considered missing, not enough, or “not come in yet”. This was from gardening to car repairs, to school supplies, and the lists could go on and on. Example: During those humbled times laundry was hung outside and if rain was in the forecast, you knew that the clothes would be gathered, and placed on the porch or carport for your convenience when you came in from work or school. We were in a multi-faith church community with a place of worship almost every 2-3 blocks. Baptist, Methodist, Pentecostal, Catholic, and Presbyterian congregations were present. If anyone was considered having less-than, it wasn’t discussed, somehow they were not ‘without’ for long. Sharing was a way of life. Being a solid, caring, law-abiding, contributor to society was expected and supported. If less than that occurred, there were outlying circumstances that only adults talked about but children were never invited to nor repeated them (openly). In this bedrock community, following the rules was ingrained in every child and yet, we managed to break rules and still survive. I broke some of the rules and shattered some hearts and delayed some dreams. I was a teen mom. But some people in that same community taught me two very distinct lessons. Mistakes remind us of our humanness and may cost us to face consequences that we are not ready to handle. Becoming a teen mom was as scary as meeting Freddie Kruger and Nightmare on Elm Street all alone on Friday the 13th. But community love, acceptance, and encouragement kicked in on overdrive and here I am, penning my story with a smile and heartfelt joy.
I’m not sure when I thought of becoming a nurse but it was early in my life. I do remember a show called Dr. Ben Casey that was popular during my youth and later Julia (Diahann Carroll) started being aired. Another source of inspiration was tied to our family doctor’s office. When we did go to the doctor (we were very seldom sick), the nurse was kind, and the doctor was gentle, his hands were large but soft, and his voice was loud but not scary. The short version of my “going to the doctor experience” was less traumatic than my going to the dentist experience (another story). It also helped that my mother worked in healthcare for a while, and my older sister chose to go to nursing school at Tuskegee. When she came home on break, her uniform was always carefully cleaned, ironed, and looked pristine. I think maybe the cleanliness and carefulness in the way she and mom handled the ” angelic garment” attracted me.
That same doctor that I went to as a child, who also delivered me at birth, gave me my first clinical job as I worked my way through nursing school. By the time I reached my ‘clinical days’ during nursing school, I was well prepared from the experiences and exposures in the doctor’s office.
My years as a nurse afforded me unbelievable opportunities. Working as a Registered Nurse at one of the premier teaching hospitals in Birmingham Alabama still brings joy to my heart and a smile to my face. I like to say that I went from UAB School of Nursing to UAB Hospital of Excellence! Even then, I knew that I would have a second career. I shared with a very important person in my life the day I graduated from UAB, that I was going back to school to be a family therapist. His comments were, “Girl, the ink is not even dry on this diploma, can you just hang it on the wall first.”‘ So after many wonderful years and amazing experiences at UAB and VNA (Visiting Nurses Association), I moved to Texas. When I left Alabama, I brought all of my gifts from my community and work-life with me. But this time, a new level of confidence, security, achievement, and excitement were all activated and ready to explore a new horizon.
Starting my life in Texas had its challenges and successes. One such challenge; was the sudden turn of events that lead me to be introduced to family counseling in an unexpected way. I entered the world of marital counseling. The experience was so impactful and informative. Because of the therapeutic process, healing, wholeness, and stability were healthy outcomes for me. It was my therapist who brought up the go-to school for counseling conversation again. I say again because unbeknown to her, I had the desire to go back to school several years before ever leaving Birmingham. (remember the comment about “the ink not being dry on the diploma”).
Thanks to the fantastic programs at Amberton University (Garland, TX) I graduated with a Master’s Degree in Professional Counseling. I worked with the Harmony Counseling Center (Harmony CDC at Concord Church) during my internship and started my own practice, Ringstaff Counseling LLC in 2015. I then graduated from Liberty University (Lynchburg, VA) in 2020 with a Doctorate in Community Care: Marriage and Family Counseling. Today I also work with and support Harmony Counseling and Hamilton Counseling & Consulting (Duncanville, TX).
Working with clients is a collaborative effort. I see individuals, (age 10+), families, couples, and groups. I don’t solve their problems but I work with them to find solutions that best meet their needs. When clients contact therapists for services, they are taking the first of many steps toward positive change. I share with all clients that one of the most challenging things that any of us will face is our own decision to make a choice. Change is sometimes hard, and fear may be overwhelming, but acknowledging that you need help, being willing to seek help, and coming to terms with accepting help is so very powerful
What sets me apart from others? Honestly, I think it’s my transparency. I am compassionate, caring, and concerned. One thing that my clients may not be aware of is I pray for them. I am a Christian counselor. I do not push my faith or beliefs on anyone, but when I look at my inquiries, whether there is an appointment or not, I pray that their needs be met by someone, in some way, and at some time that is beneficial for them. I pray that God will provide according to His will. And, I am honest, I have a sense of humor, and I enjoy life. I am a great listener, that is patient, kind, and considerate. again, I am a village child that is all grown up and still care about others. In the counseling arena, my approach is varied, I do not offer services for addiction, sexual assault, or work-release/disability determinations.
I am most proud of my relationships with my family, friends, colleagues, and yes, my clients (strictly professional), and my faith. My academic and work-related accomplishments are appreciated and I have worked hard to reach, respect, and maintain them. But it’s those relationships of the heart that I cherish most and wrap them in protective love and privacy. I encourage my clients to create a work-life balance, educate them on the importance of balance, and hold them accountable. I do no less for myself. Living an authentic life is best done when you start with the person you see in the mirror face-to-face. Oftentimes, the individual may have lost themselves in a maze of living through past hurts, trauma, disappointments, fear, or a multitude of issues, But hope is a ray of sunshine that can pierce the darkest corner and send a breath of freshness to ignite a spark of wonder that may illuminate the path to wanting to be alive and inspired, and healed.
I ask my clients to allow me to join them in discovering new and meaningful ways to restore their joy, find their purpose, and live fully. It is the client that does the work, I am a member of their team, that they choose to trust and help them navigate the pathway to better…. better than what has created their discomfort, better than what has been given permission to block their paths to being joyful… and the courage to know that they can choose, wisely.

Learning and unlearning are both critical parts of growth – can you share a story of a time when you had to unlearn a lesson?

Learning to fly in the face of fear is real. After graduating from Amberton University, I had this desire to show what overcoming fear looked like. I thought going back to school after 30 years was crazy and unimaginable but with God’s grace and tremendous family/friend support, I did it!!!!! So many of my cheerleaders talked about how easy it looked, I worked full-time, went to school, etc. But only a few knew that I had health issues, My blood pressure was affected, and my stomach and eating were issues along with my seeing a dermatologist and a gastroenteroogist because of hair and skin concerns (stress-related). Let’s just say, I was a mess. My children were coming out for graduation and bringing my two young grandsons. A close girlfriend and I had talked about doing something daring to celebrate birthdays and graduation together. We (mostly me), came up with the idea to go skydiving …. yep, can you believe that these two reasonably mature and well-functioning females wanted to jump out of a perfectly good airplane, voluntarily! It was the most hair-brained idea we (I) could come up with, (a new version of Thema and Louise)… just to show our kids and grandkids that fear can be overcome with faith. That nothing is too hard, regardless, just think it through, have a plan, get support, and guidance, then work on your plan.,. and make it happen. It all seemed so fun and exciting until the plane is 2 miles up and you realize that you have forgotten allllll of the instructions that the divemaster gave you. So there I am, me and my divemaster, and videographer who will jump out before me to get t all on film. My friend is in a separate plane. Then I think, what if???????????????

But just when I want to back out, this is the question from the videographer,, ” Why do you want to do this today?” My initial response was, “I don’t, I want to go back, and kiss the ground, you can keep the money”! But I look at him and I remember why we (I) so wanted to do this. It was the scariest thing outside of going back to school after 30 years and being the oldest student in most of my classes, including some professors, and I was blessed to do it, and do it well. My grandsons were going to see me come out of the sky with my heart in my mouth and my nerves wrapped around my throat because I was too scared to scream, but they would see me fly… flying and gliding in the face of fear and doing it, well.

Sometimes fear is what we imagine things will be without trying to discover what things could be when we are better prepared.

Learning to overcome fear has permitted me to encourage students, parents, families and colleagues to share their experiences and gifts on local, state, and international platforms. Learning is a life-long and life-enriching journey.

If you could go back, would you choose the same profession, specialty, etc.?

If I could go back, I would most definitely choose the same profession. I think the professions chose me in a way. I have spent years saying “Nursing is my love, and counseling is my calling”. But in truth, I was counseling while I was nursing, and nursing while I’m counseling in a very abstract way. Healing takes place in both professions. Physical healing can significantly impact one’s mental status and vice versa. Both careers have caused me to push beyond my own known limitations and stretch my boundaries to improve and maintain competence and confidence. I love them equally and strive to remain effective in both. My skills are required by statutes and rules, and governing bodies that write recommendations but it is my heart’s desire and personal commitment to these professions to uphold a certain degree of professionalism that is unquestionably ethical and purposeful. When I sit with any patient or client and their family, I am upholding an oath to do no harm, period.