We caught up with the brilliant and insightful Janessa Neighbors a few weeks ago and have shared our conversation below.

Janessa, thanks for taking the time to share your stories with us today Let’s kick things off with a hypothetical question – if it were up to you, what would you change about the school or education system to better prepare students for a more fulfilling life and career?

Thank you for having me here! (:
I can go on and on about this haha. I went to a Catholic school all my life until my Healthcare Informatics master’s degree, where I decided to a Non-Catholic school. So, while I am grateful for the education that I do have, I feel like there could’ve been more topics added onto the high school curriculum for more real-world knowledge and to connect the dots more with how real-world businesses work as well as how society works, both in a religious way as well as a non-religious way. Of course, from a Catholic school perspective, a lot of the non-religious knowledge was either not taught or was taught but shamed on as if to say, “don’t do this or that.” An optional home education course at the time was half a year during my senior year and this included reproductive/family planning education also and then an optional finance course was also for half a year in my senior year. Now of course religious education was heavy on Catholicism and the education of other religions wasn’t as heavy as the teachings of Catholicism so the balance on that was really off. Us as seniors tried to live it up with a harmless senior prank day and other fun ideas and we just got shut down as a class or had to accommodate unnecessary expectations. Now, the seniors in the same school do more fun ideas than we do. In my time, the diversity and the love behind that diversity was definitely a work in progress and I did deal with some subtle judgement off and on being the only biracial/black girl in the senior class. That also made things slightly challenging for dance dates and just dating in general as I already stood out and not everyone wanted to stand out. I just look back now and while I take the blessings, I’m well aware of the areas of improvement that the school needed.

There’s many great experiences and bad experiences but that’s just to give a general brief overview of some of the things in my high school experience.

So, keeping these various experiences in mind, the changes that I would make in the education system as a whole are more Home Education, more Finances Education, more humanistic education such as psychological topics including topics that deal with trauma, mind-body wellness management, how to manage anxiety with life curveballs, learn a few common disorders with homework to learn more rare ones, and African American History, all need to be added into the school curriculums all year around and making those courses mandatory for graduation. These are just a few that we need to add in for our future generations to thrive. We graduate high school and as we’re figuring our adult lives, we’re learning things as we go and sometimes by the time we learn about the important life lessons or ideals, it’s already too late because the damage or the inconvenience is already done. I know high school was a difficult time for me not just off and on at school but also at home, so I didn’t have the proper tools to navigate those, and I’ve been learning those now, both intentionally and as I go. That needs to change for future generations. Just some food for thought!

As always, we appreciate you sharing your insights and we’ve got a few more questions for you, but before we get to all of that can you take a minute to introduce yourself and give our readers some of your back background and context?

So first, I’m not originally from Savannah, GA. I always say I have two home states that I was raised in: Ohio being my birth state and Pennsylvania is where I was mostly raised in. I’ve met my lifelong best friends in Pennsylvania while in school, have had a lot of life experiences there that I go into brief detail later on, and I’ve created a lot of good professional connections also that I’m still in touch with today. I moved to GA for the warmer climate as the snow was physically brutal for me due to my scoliosis. I also wanted to finish school in an area that had a lot more opportunity and culture than my hometown. Also, I wanted a fresh start due to some painful past experiences that I endured. I needed to leave behind a lot of toxicity and I had loved ones down here that encouraged me to do so. This year marks six years of residency and I don’t regret my decision at all. I also met the love of my life and lifelong friends here so my “yes” to moving, opened many doors for me! GA is the state where I grew as a person and found “me”. Whoever knew me 6+ years ago, has to get to know me, if they haven’t already lol!

After graduating graduate school, I knew eventually I wanted to be my own boss or at least create something meaningful of my own that others would also enjoy. While in my management position at one of our local hospitals here in Savannah, I became a health coach with a wellness company and I enjoyed it! My relationship with food, exercise, and overall wellness dramatically improved with that company plus the ladies I worked with were/are the sweetest! It also gave me the opportunity to start re-connecting with myself in all the ways (spiritually, mentally, physically, and emotionally). My goals then were to make memories, gain many experiences, learn the company, and learn skills that would help me thrive in whatever I was going to create. That creating part I was stuck on & my “why” for it, I wanted to have a deeper meaning for it.

After a year or so into the business and while also becoming certified in life and relationship coaching, I settled on making this health coaching experience my own thing that I do and just create things to make it more my own. I also started my healing process during this time because before starting it and during the dark times of my life, I struggled with self care & putting myself first. I struggled to find a space where I could be my full self without shame, without guilt, without societal expectations, without the advice echos of my external influences because I either didn’t have it at all from caregivers or I had a space but it wasn’t fully fulfilling. Anytime I attempted to put myself first, the outcome was 50/50 and now I don’t care what the outcome is, as long as I’m happy with it. So, during my continued healing journey, I thought to myself almost two years ago “if I can’t find a community space that is what I’m looking for, where I can just be a human being, I’m making one myself! And I immediately began brainstorming and figuring out what would make a fun environment but also an intentional one. Then one day at work, I had an epiphany and it really hit home for me!

My life & relationship coaching virtual business that I’m starting is called Nessa’s Safe Space. My first full name is Janessa but I often go by Nessa for short! The Safe Space portion of the business is going to be both for me and those that want to join me in a healing, empathic, loving, overall safe space! The overall creative theme is my own take, which I love multichromatic colors, abstract art, astrology, various galaxy themes, psychological inspiring art, inspiring quotes, and anything celestial.

My main personal and professional visions are to have a virtual safe space outside of the world’s chaos and the personal traumas that we’ve all endured. Where we can talk about our human struggles, we can laugh, cry, find things out about ourselves that we never considered or had but were ashamed of, where we can have open discussions about intentional topics that are meant to help us grow as well as open discussions about random topics that we’re just dying to talk about and make sense of. There will be workshops for individuals who struggle with finding their joy, couples who want to bring their relationship spark back, and for anyone who just wants to build a better relationship with themselves and others they cherish. This space is to help you make time for you, learn about the person you are, learn about the person(s) you are with, build better relationships with loved ones as well as with yourself, and find healing ways to overcome the trauma, that caused an inner disconnection. We tend to lose our sense of self when traumas happen and I wanted to create a space where we can lovingly reconnect with ourselves. The most exciting parts about this is it is all-inclusive. Being a biracial gay human being, I want this space to be welcoming and to feel like a virtual home for those who need/want one. I believe that is my ultimate goal-to have a welcoming home for those who may not have one or do but it’s not fulfilling. I feel that this is what sets me apart and having that safe space to be human and to learn is what I want to offer for my clients as a service. However, these are just to name a few!

When I reflect on my past life experiences in high school going into adulthood, I had to #1 forgive myself for doing what I had to do while in survival mode & #2, find silver linings in the abuse & manipulation that I endured, in the parentification role that I was trapped in, in the losses of loved ones who were unhealthy for me, in the time losses with loved ones that I had to mourn, dealing with the experiences of my parents’ divorce and struggling to detach from the therapist role that I was put into. I was also starting college and new jobs in these times so managing my time with these experiences was very challenging but I made that my priority, since finding a source of stability was my priority. My body was on cortisol overdrive and my overall health (mental, emotional, spiritual) was in a bad condition but I found a few ways to stay positive. I knew that these traumas mentioned and more, were teaching me life lessons that I could carry with me, whether I saw it then or not. Many people don’t often see it this way & that’s okay, but I’m a firm believer that there’s a lesson in everything. I have found peace and closure in that.

Now, I’m 27 years old. I’m a Capricorn! I’m a Certified Life & Relationship Coach. I’m about to be Certified in Bookkeeping for those who are in need of services. This was something that I wanted to learn how to do but knew it would also be beneficial long term. I’m also a Certified Zumba instructor because dance and music has always been another therapeutic source for me. I have Bachelor’s degree in Psychology & Master’s in Healthcare informatics. Most importantly, I found peace and I’m expanding on that peace! I am no longer a health coach, as I’m wanting to put that more into my own business and not be partnered with another company, hence Zumba! This was something that always spoke to me but I didn’t know where to start, so my vision for it was blurry. But after having coaching experiences with another company, finding both clarity and healing from my dark times, the vision is clearing up fairly quickly. Plus I find so much joy in creating this and seeing how it’s coming together, I know many will enjoy this and will find peace in it too!

What’s a lesson you had to unlearn and what’s the backstory?

A lesson that I had to unlearn was the old saying is “Blood is thicker than water.”

So, before going into the backstory, I just want to say that the full accurate saying is “Blood is thicker than the water of the womb.” which, in turn, basically means that the chosen bonds/connections that you make in life are more significant than familial ties.

So, I was always taught this older saying growing up. Any kind of conflict that I was in, any type of hostility that I had, I was told this and the curiosity of the saying grew on me to where I just started doing research on the saying. This is turn became a whole thing where I was finding older sayings that I was also taught, but the full, more accurate quote of it instead. An example of this is “Curiousity killed the cat.” But the full saying of this is “curiousity killed the cat, but satisfaction brought it back.” So, don’t stop being curious and asking questions haha.

But in relating this to my life journey, I have a lot of loved ones in my life, that I’m immensely grateful. Some I’m social with and some I needed to let go as the relationship wasn’t healthy. I can love them from a distance. With these unhealthy relationships, I always had this sense of guilt when I was doing a relationship detox and over time, the more I kept trying to make it work, the more drained I felt. This, in turn, also made me pay more attention to the full saying and not what I was taught. Also, in these times with the detoxing, I was able to find a sense of comfort knowing that some relationships just aren’t meant to be kept, especially when the efforts to keep the connection are slowly fading, the draining feeling continues to be there after interacting, and overall bond isn’t strong enough. More importantly, if I don’t feel safe in any way in the relationship or I have trust issues with it, I kiss it goodbye.

How did you build your audience on social media?

So my Instagram initially started out as regular Instagram for a few years throughout high school and college so I didn’t turn it into a business Instagram until I joined a health company as we needed to make content about our health journey and experiences to draw viewers and build an audience for the business niche that we had. I enjoyed that for a bit although I was inconsistent with it at first. But then when I decided to focus on my own business development, I slowly started to merge into that, became more consistent in creating content and well, here we are. I have certain days I post and if there’s any conflicts in the way, then I can do a scheduled post in the Instagram app so it’s not interrupting my day to day flow.

My advice to those starting out with building a social media presence is to have fun with it! Learn the platform and be open minded to being creative and trying out new ways to make fun content whether it’s intentional videos or something more on the comical side. Can’t take life too seriously and don’t be afraid to be vulnerable in your own presence. Don’t be afraid to be a human being with feelings, curious thoughts, and a desire to do or want more, the world needs that!

Contact Info:

• Instagram: Jayyy1228