We’re excited to introduce you to the always interesting and insightful Jane E Fendelman MC. We hope you’ll enjoy our conversation with Jane E below.
Jane E, looking forward to hearing all of your stories today. It’s always helpful to hear about times when someone’s had to take a risk – how did they think through the decision, why did they take the risk, and what ended up happening. We’d love to hear about a risk you’ve taken.
I randomly came out of denial at age 30 after watching the movie “Thelma and Louise,” that I was attacked and raped by a 16-year-old boy, when I was 12.
I came from a family of good “soldiers.”
Soldiers meaning…
Don’t complain, don’t talk about your feelings or the past, just shut your mouth and keep marching.
I didn’t tell anyone about the rape.
In fact, I risk judgment even now at age 65, for laying down in print, what I am saying here.
From age 12 until 30, I had no idea how that wound affected every area of my life. I didn’t even recognize it as a wound. Being a virgin, I had no point of reference for sex and what it was supposed to be.
I was scared I would get in trouble. I thought I had done something wrong.
My grades plummeted and overnight I turned from a bright, curious, open-hearted little girl, to a dark, suspicious, guarded, troubled child. I didn’t realize it but, the sexual assault affected every area of my life.
No one asked me what happened. They just assumed I had turned bad.
Throughout my 20’s I had numerous jobs, none of which were my “calling.” My father once referred to me as a “tumbleweed” who couldn’t stick with a job. At his suggestion, I got a real estate license, in hopes of winning his approval.
By age 30 I got divorced, quit my job as a realtor, had a heartbreakingly lonely birthday and hit rock bottom.
I was falling into a deep depression.
Every counselor I went to, and every book I read made the trauma worse.
Therapeutic techniques were either too direct and took me back to the moment of trauma thereby re-traumatizing me (“you have to feel it to heal it” philosophy), or were too indirect, opening a floodgate of uncontrollable emotion (as in EMDR or tapping).
Eventually, I was suicidal.
I began to realize what was missing from those healing techniques…
A sense of Empowerment.
Not knowing that I was about to take an action that would put me on the track of a career I would 100% love, heal trauma for not only myself but for thousands of others and shape my destiny for the next 35 years, I developed my own therapeutic technique for healing trauma.
I started healing immediately. I healed not only the rape, but a multitude of traumatic moments from my life. My heart opened and I felt like a soaring eagle. Not only were my spirits buoyant and lifted, but my life purpose changed to a profound commitment to service to humanity.
Within a year, I went back to college and got a Master of Counseling degree. I completed a 3-year degree in 2 years and have been an Individual, Couples and Family counselor for 30 years now.
I had no idea I was an “A” student.
I graduated near the top of my class, have not only helped 1000’s heal trauma in just one session, even after they’d tried years of counseling, I’ve also been recognized as one of Phoenix’s Top Three Marriage Counselors the last 8 years in a row.
Please remember my Friend, under tons of pressure from life, your lumps of coal will become your Diamonds.
Trust your instincts and the powerful current of life. Have faith that out of your pain, your gifts will be born.
A multitude of people will try to stop you. They’ll try to get you to keep your mouth shut while you’re on the journey to realizing your true life’s calling.
You might be the subject of lies and gossip, criticized, ostracized, you might feel like you’re all alone. You might feel like the black sheep, the weirdo in your family or like you’re the only one seeing the truth.
But don’t stop!
You must risk everything and everyone to follow your dreams and be your true self. IT IS WORTH THE RISK!
And just remember, you are in good company.
You shining your Light as only you can, reminds them of how small they are living. They are frightened.
Mercy on them.
Added Bonus Risk:
A few years ago I was invited to write a chapter in what has become a very successful book of stories from women who overcame insurmountable odds,
“From Us For You.”
My chapter is called, “The Girl who got Raped and Became Great.”
It was risky not only because sexual assault victims are blamed and shamed, they are often threatened with lawsuits if they disclose the name of their rapist.
I’ve always said, it’s not slander if it’s true. So, bring It on. ;->
In the audio version of my chapter, I say the name of my rapist…
Scott Kimble of St. Louis.
Okay my Honored Sacred Seekers of Knowledge, I am grateful to you for hearing a small piece my unexpected journey.
My Best Wishes of Luck and Love to You!
Warmest, Jane
Jane E, before we move on to more of these sorts of questions, can you take some time to bring our readers up to speed on you and what you do?
Jane Fendelman, counselor, author and speaker earned a Bachelor of Science in Education from Southwest Missouri State University in 1982, and a Master of Counseling Graduate Degree from the University of Phoenix in 1994.
Jane is an individual, marriage/couples, and child-family counselor, a twice-certified Hospice Worker, Grief Counselor, she holds a Critical Incidence Debriefing Certification, is a Tantra Teacher and an Omni-Denominational Minister.
Jane councils people from 10 to 110 years of age. She respects and supports all spiritual and religious beliefs including atheism and agnosticism. She works with people of any sexual orientation, including all those in the LGBTQ+ communities.
Jane facilitates tailor-made transformational workshops, seminars and trainings for large and small businesses, corporations, schools, parents, PTO meetings, churches and organizations of all kinds.
Jane has studied most of the great religions and many of the obscure ones including the teachings of Kabbalah, Tanya, Tantra, Ancient Hermetic Teachings, the Esoteric Teachings of Jesus Christ, The Ageless Wisdoms, Ancient Jewish Mysticism, Gnosticism, Stoicism, The 4th Way, Ospensky, Gurdjieff, Blavatsky and Quantum Physics.
Jane trains counselors to do counseling, and her office has been a college internship site for 25 years. She trains parents and teachers how to teach and has run in-service trainings in numerous schools throughout Arizona.
Jane was the Couples Expert on Arizona Midday every Friday and has been the featured guest on numerous local TV news and talk shows. She’s also had a multitude of national radio interviews throughout the last 30 years.
Jane is the founder of the Fendelman Metanoia Counseling Method for Transformation.
Metanoia is a total reversal in thinking or spiritual awakening.
Jane WILL NOT assess, label, analyze, pigeonhole, categorize, diagnose or medicate you. She will not tell you there’s something wrong with you.
If you want to be told there is something wrong with you and receive a label, a diagnosis, and do years of endless complaining that does not result in any kind of transformation, you will need a licensed psychiatrist or psychologist.
Jane is a counselor, an intuitive and powerful a healer. She will see YOU, the person, not an illness.
If you’ve been trapped, heading in one direction… stuck in a rut for years, Jane’s Metanoia Counseling Method will entirely change the trajectory of your life 180 degrees.
You will experience a revolution in your entire way of proceeding in the world. YOU WILL EXPERIENCE TRANSFORMATION.
Jane gives you actionable tools to break old self-sabotaging patterns and overcome fears in all areas.
Jane has served more than 50,000 people and has over 30 years of experience.
To schedule a session, text Jane: 602-881-1991
Check out Jane’s Website Store: https://www.janefendelman.com/janes-vido-audio-books/
Jane has over 55,000 followers on her TikTok Channel: https://www.tiktok.com/@janefendelman?_t=ZP-8wYZTJsg5VP&_r=1
Check out “ThreeBest Rated’s” list. Jane is #1 of the Top 3 Counselors in Phoenix! https://threebestrated.com/marriage-counselors-in-phoenix-az
“What you say to yourself about yourself,
Determines your place in the world.”
~ Jane E Fendelman, MC
How’d you build such a strong reputation within your market?
You don’t have to think about how to build you reputation within your field of expertise.
Just do good works, be a good person and keep doing what you love.
Your reputation will build itself.
What’s been the most effective strategy for growing your clientele?
Every now and then I’ll ask a client if they feel comfortable posting an online review.
But I always ask them to acknowledge themselves, not me. That is what is most inspiring to others.
Contact Info:
- Website: https://www.janefendelman.com
- Youtube: Jane Fendelman MC
- Other: TikTok https://www.tiktok.com/@janefendelman?_t=ZP-8wYvonBU6Yg&_r=1
