We caught up with the brilliant and insightful Janan Ashton a few weeks ago and have shared our conversation below.

Janan, thanks for taking the time to share your stories with us today Do you feel you or your work has ever been misunderstood or mischaracterized? If so, tell us the story and how/why it happened and if there are any interesting learnings or insights you took from the experience?

For as long as I can remember, I’ve always felt misunderstood. Like that black sheep that stands out like a sore thumb or that ugly duckling that people can’t quite comprehend the foundation of its creation… yeah, that’s me. My earliest memories include me fighting to be understood by those around me, and with that understanding, I often assumed acceptance would come with it. However, the combination never did, and it would leave me triggered, feeling invisible and ignored. This was the original reason that I became an actor; I thought that being on stage or on camera would show the REAL me to those who I longed to be accepted by. Once again, I was overlooked and unseen. This is when it dawned on me – it wasn’t other people who were mischaracterizing me. It wasn’t even their fault that they misunderstood me. The person who misunderstood me the most was actually MYSELF. To be recognized, I oftentimes mischaracterized myself to fit the mold of what I thought others would want me to be. I moved in the spirit of fear + lack, retriggering myself time and time again just to be understood by others, when it was ME who needed to get me (make sense?). Have I mastered this “understanding of self?” To be transparent, absolutely not. This journey will be an ongoing process because I’m ever evolving, forever learning. What I can say, without a shadow of doubt, is that the work I’ve begun is revealing some truths, both nurturing and harsh, and at the same time, it’s rewarding. So does it matter if someone misunderstands me? No, even if it hurts at times. I’M BEGINNING TO UNDERSTAND/INNERSTAND Janan and exactly what she needs and aligns with her being. I now OVERstand (I know, it’s not a word) that some people will go above and beyond to misunderstand you simply out of dislike of you (and possibly themselves). It is not my job to change their perception of me. I guess you could say this is growth. That black sheep and ugly duckling I once identified with is becoming the Swan… nah fr, I’m the GOAT.

Awesome – so before we get into the rest of our questions, can you briefly introduce yourself to our readers.

For those of you who don’t know me, or aren’t too familiar with me, my name is Janan Ashton. I’m a “Philly Jawn,” born, raised, and it attributes to my aesthetic. I’m an actress, poet, mental health advocate, and educator. I’m a Master of ALL my trades and take 100% pride in everything that I do. I’ve been an actress and poet since I was 4 years old. I don’t remember exactly when I became a Mental health advocate, however, I know I’ve been fighting for my own visibility in varying ways since I was a child. The space I’m currently in helps me recognize that each thing/job I have perfectly aligns; my training as an actor has prepared me for ANYTHING that life throws at me, on a professional, and even a personal level.

I could name a bunch of things I’m proud of; I’ve accomplished many things I’ve had on my bucket list. I fulfilled my dream of filming out in LA and being a lead character in a film on a streaming network (Lowest Places: Lost Time and Dear Miss, both streaming on Tubi). I’ve performed my poetry in ATL (Everybody’s Network). I’m even doing what I’m passionate about in Philly, which is helping young people. But honestly, the thing that I’m most proud of is that I’m STILL HERE. I’ve never been shy about discussing my past mental health challenges and having BPD (Borderline Personality Disorder), I’m just much more private about them now. I’ve learned that placing certain information in the wrong hands is detrimental to my psyche. As someone with “quiet” BPD, things can get extremely intense and very dark. However, I will share that I’m thankful that I’ve survived 100% of my darkest days and that I’m here to not only live out my goals or tell my story, but that I’m here for my children. They motivate me immensely, and I wouldn’t be who I am if it weren’t for them. My healing is MY responsibility, but these minions hold me accountable allllll the time.

I share a glimpse of my story to people so they can know to not judge a book by its cover, but to also remember to be KIND. Just because you see people “killing it” out here, does not mean that these same people don’t struggle. You never know what folks may be going through, I also say these things to promote awareness and to remove the stigma surrounding mental health challenges. We ALL have them, ranging from those that are diagnosed, to the people that HATE their job, leading to severe anxiety or depression. We don’t have to be quiet about our struggles, and we can still thrive, even if we have them.

What’s a lesson you had to unlearn and what’s the backstory?

A lesson that I seriously had to unlearn was that I needed to “be quiet” and that my voice didn’t matter. Throughout my life, I was told that I was “too loud” or “too much.” I was taught to curve my tongue and be quiet about my mental health struggles, voicing concerns within the industry, in the workplace, etc. Now, I can say that my approach while I was younger was WAYYYY off (if you know me and you’re reading this, then you already know the vibes), however I carried this with me well into adulthood. Learning how to “be quiet” had me accepting much less than what I deserved across the board. Now, I’m stepping out of that and I have to consistently remind myself that my voice truly does matter. I still have struggles with speaking up at times because I must finding an appropriate approach for specific audiences has been a STRUGGLE. I’ve also struggled with battling my inner child and the fear that comes with speaking up. Alas, I’m here, working through it.

Is there something you think non-creatives will struggle to understand about your journey as a creative? Maybe you can provide some insight – you never know who might benefit from the enlightenment.

Most people in my life, specifically those I’m close to, are non-creatives. They don’t understand the purpose behind my artistry at times. They don’t understand the WHY behind it all; I oftentimes get questions of “why are you doing this?” “Why are you spreading yourself thin for this? You already have a career [as an educator], this isn’t making you any money.” Or even better, “Why do you have to kiss people in your roles? Why you always gotta be someone’s love interest,” as if I’m writing the script (lol). Most people don’t understand the hustle that I have as a creative because I do have things that I can fallback on. I honestly don’t believe that many people believe that THIS can work and most times, it bothers me. However, it’s not my job to convince people of the dreams that I know are tangible FOR ME. They’ll become believers as they see things fall into place or I “make it”. I have to remember to BELIEVE IN MYSELF, and none of my work will be in vain. I’m beginning to truly align with all things that are meant for me and things will only go UP from here.

Contact Info:

• Instagram: youdntknownan
• Linkedin: https://www.linkedin.com/in/jananashton
• Other: https://tubitv.com/movies/100006881/lowest-places-lost-time

Image Credits
AllMoneyShots BBB Photography William Harper