We were lucky to catch up with Jalene E. Murphy recently and have shared our conversation below.

Alright, Jalene E. thanks for taking the time to share your stories and insights with us today. Can you open up about a risk you’ve taken – what it was like taking that risk, why you took the risk and how it turned out?

I was fortunate to be in a loving and thoughtful heterosexual marriage for 15 years. Throughout my marriage, I gradually realized I was sexually attracted to women. My husband stood by my side as I grappled with the slow, painful unraveling of my sexual identity and the daunting struggle to make sense of it all. He was my anchor, unwavering in his support as I grew, evolved, and transformed. At 38, I experienced a defining moment of profound clarity around my sexuality—a revelation that reshaped my life and set me on a new path.

I am gay.

I made the life-changing and risky decision to redefine my identity, a journey that included the deeply emotional choice to break tradition and ask for a divorce from my beloved husband. Confronting paralyzing fear by becoming the first in my large Catholic Irish Ukrainian family to come out as gay. Through this transformative process, I discovered the power of fully loving and accepting myself, embracing my truth with courage and resilience.

Jalene E., love having you share your insights with us. Before we ask you more questions, maybe you can take a moment to introduce yourself to our readers who might have missed our earlier conversations?

Hello! I’m Jalene E. Murphy. By day, I’m a passionate travel consultant who achieved the incredible milestone of visiting all seven continents by age 40. Now, my life’s purpose shines as an author, a personal courage ACTivist, and an inspiring public speaker!

In Toastmasters International, I discovered my voice and unearthed the transformative power of storytelling. The speeches I wrote in Toastmasters became the foundation of my book Modern Day Courage.
Modern Day Courage is my first book, and it captures the challenging journey from my fearful, thinking mind to listening to my loving, gentle heart.

These six short stories are true and intimate, describing my journey through mental health challenges, the stigma of divorce, and the paralysis of perfectionism. My story demonstrates the transformative power of courage as I navigated the complex obstacles of sexual affirmation and self-love, and overcame the guilt and shame induced by my rigid Catholic upbringing.

We often hear about learning lessons – but just as important is unlearning lessons. Have you ever had to unlearn a lesson?

Regardless of my sexual orientation, I am worthy of love.

I was raised in a large family in a small prairie town within the confines of a deeply Catholic home. The Church, with its loud and unyielding voice, preached two essential messages: abstinence was paramount, or else I would be doomed to a dark, unforgiving fate, and secondly physical love was only acceptable if between a man and a woman.

At age 24, I married an amazing man in the full tradition of the Catholic Church, a decision that felt right at the time. However, by the age of 30, I found myself exploring new desires and curiosities, including the possibility of having a sexual experience with a woman. In the spirit of mutual respect and support, my husband and I agreed I could explore this path if the opportunity arose. When I had a sexual encounter with a woman, it profoundly altered the course of my life. By the time I turned 40, I had made the difficult decision to end my marriage. I had to unlearn the limiting, narrow-minded teachings of the Catholic Church, which had conditioned me to believe that love was only meant for a select few. Through this journey, I learned to embrace my authentic self and fully accept and love myself as a gay woman.

What’s been the most effective strategy for growing your clientele?

Attend in-person events to connect and support fellow creatives.

Promote others’ work by sharing their creations and names and purchasing their art.

Engage intentionally on social media. I share my passions: courageous and inspiring quotes, thought-provoking books, and art.

Say “yes” to helping others in ways that align with your strengths. For example, I provide peer reviews on story creation but not editing, as it’s outside my skill set. Know yourself and define your strengths!

Contact Info:

• Website: https://www.jalenemurphy.com
• Instagram: @jalenemurphy
• Facebook: Jalene E. Murphy
• Linkedin: https://www.linkedin.com/in/jalene-e-murphy-she-her-6b84a41a/?originalSubdomain=ca

Image Credits

The first three pictures are by Jon Popowich when I had my Modern Day Courage book launch. The others are captured by Jon Rode.