We caught up with the brilliant and insightful Jak Starzin a few weeks ago and have shared our conversation below.
Jak, thanks for taking the time to share your stories with us today One of the toughest things about progressing in your creative career is that there are almost always unexpected problems that come up – problems that you often can’t read about in advance, can’t prepare for, etc. Have you had such and experience and if so, can you tell us the story of one of those unexpected problems you’ve encountered?
Imposter syndrome is so common among artists but rarely talked about. When I started performing live and filming music videos I felt a disconnect; almost as if I was playing a “character”, I know some artists have that “alter ego” but I didn’t want that to be me, I wanted to embody my identity completely. I also suffered from low self esteem and that brought on other issues like depression, anxiety and self doubt which stunted my growth critically. I remember my lowest point when I was 21 o saved up for a year so I could go to LA and film a music video for my new song; I was so excited and had big expectations in my head but when the day arrived to film it was just me and my boyfriend (who I had just met 2 weeks before) who showed up to film. But I didn’t let that stop me I gave him my iPhone and we got to filming; when I got back home and began to edit the music video to put it together, I couldn’t stop crying. It felt like all the money and time I invested in this project was wasted. I hated how I looked in the video, hated my facial expressions, hated how I moved, how my costumes fit; I broke down in the realization I did not fit the vision in my head. But regardless I finished the video and put it out, then I decided I would work on myself and overcome my fears of being perceived; rather than sit in self pity and rot with a broken dream I chose to work on myself in any way I could. This is when I began teaching myself all the skills I would need to not only advance my music and art but also my self esteem and how I projected myself to the world. Although I’m not %100 there; that’s unrealistic because I’m always learning and evolving but I’m so happy I can finally say I do love myself and the art I create; I’m comfortable in my skin. Now performing feels much more natural and I can execute more exciting visuals in my videos, and this is only the beginning I can only imagine what the future holds as I grow and evolve.
Awesome – so before we get into the rest of our questions, can you briefly introduce yourself to our readers.
Hi I’m Jak Starzin and I make pop music from my bedroom. I pretty much do it all from writing my songs, mixing and mastering, directing my music videos, making the outfits/costumes & even doing my own photoshoots. I grew up in a strict Christian household so my exposure to “worldly” music was very limited; however my dad loved Michael Jackson so he was my very 1st introduction to the world of pop and thus raised the bar for my expectations from a very young age. I used to daydream of snatching the pastor’s mic during chapel and performing “Beat it” in front of the whole school.; my poor teachers were horrified. Around middle school my dad brought home a new wii game for us “Just Dance”, it was through this that I discovered Katy Perry; one of my other key influences growing up. As I began to rebel and discover my identity, I also started taking singing lessons and working on my artistry. Throughout the years I’ve been teaching myself different skills to elevate my music career; recently I’ve been showcasing my directing & sewing skills in my music videos. Fashion is such an important outlet for me to express my identity; my favorite designers are Mugler and Moschino, I’m a sucker for campy looks! I recreated Mugler’s fall 1995 Cyborg suit out of foam recently and had an incident where I could have ended up in the Emergency room or worse. We were shooting the 2nd half of the music video for my new song I put out “Mutual”, I was in the cyborg suit and there’s a scene I wrote where we use pyrotechnics to create the illusion of me “short circuiting” in the suit. However sometimes my ideas are risky and the “sparkler” birthday candles we used did not stay on the “safety piece” I made. My suit caught on fire during the scene and if it wasn’t for my boyfriend knocking the “safety piece” off the suit I’d be in trouble; since our other friend was up on a high ladder with the camera shooting the scene & it was just us 3. Thankfully I got no serious burns except a bit of the hair on the back on my head got burned off. But we got the shot! As always I aim to make my next project bigger and better than the last but I definitely learned my lesson about playing with fire! The music video is going to turn out amazing so stay tuned!
Is there a particular goal or mission driving your creative journey?
Since I grew up extremely sheltered; my sense of identity was “assigned” to me. Through music and fashion I was able to discover my best version; and finally reach a level where I am happy with who I am; I want to inspire others to go on that journey. Society has such “cookie-cutter copy and paste” expectations to the point where it’s scary to present yourself outside of those “guidelines”, but you can’t run from yourself forever.
Let’s talk about resilience next – do you have a story you can share with us?
I used to want to be an astronaut… but then I found out how bad I am at math; once I figured out what a popstar was I knew I wanted to be one. It’s so easy to get lost in the process and complain when things don’t go my way but I’ve adopted the philosophy that everything happens for a reason and looking back if things had gone the way I wanted; I wouldn’t have been able to handle it. But I put in the work everyday and show up even when I’m drained; after all these years I can confidently say I’m finally ready. I still work a full time 9-5 job which does get stressful and takes up a majority of my time; but I continuously push through and make time for what I love. Even at work I keep a notebook to write lyrics, sketch outfits, draw storyboards etc; to them im slacking, to me I’m busy paving my path. I know this is temporary so I don’t care what they think of me as an employee; I’m not a number I’m an artist and that will always be my #1 priority. One of the things I really struggle with is my ADHD; I feel like not enough people talk about the reality of having ADHD. I started taking meds again last year after being med free for 14 years and it’s truly changed my life. All the times I couldn’t figure out why my motivation to do the simplest things was so drastically different day to day, why everyone around me said I was just lazy; when in reality it was just my brain being wired differently. I used to take meds as a kid but I stopped around middle school due to me choosing to be med free; unfortunately looking back this was when my performance in school started to go severely downhill. I’ve accepted ADHD is a part of me and rather than work against it I work with it; adopting techniques into my artistic process and daily life to help me reach my goals.
Contact Info:
- Website: https://jakstarzinofficial.univer.se/
- Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/officialjakstarzin?igsh=Mno2Z3E4Z2puOGEy&utm_source=qr
- Youtube: https://youtube.com/@jakstarzin?si=ntgFTz6j4tepHYur
- Other: Tik tok- https://www.tiktok.com/@jakstarzin?_t=8nMeQrSLL3P&_r=1
Spotify- https://open.spotify.com/artist/6Qmxr4XSCRBNYj1MLH1qto?si=3gG5gfU-Qj24AhyOizv__g
Apple Music- https://music.apple.com/us/artist/jak-starzin/1382776705
Image Credits
Images in the blue velvet bodysuit by @superschoolnews on instagram (James L)