It all started with a horse, and it was the first memory I have of my mother teaching me how to draw. I watched as she effortlessly drew two circles she linked together with a rectangle. How could three simple shapes already look like a horse?

I tried and immediately became frustrated at my pitiful scribble scrabble. Mom nudged and encouraged me to try again, and she continued to nudge and encourage me throughout my life. She showed me it’s okay to be bad at something, especially in the beginning. Her focus was on “practice” not “perfection.” This philosophy carried over into my adult life. It gave me the freedom to explore art and many other interests. It’s also the number one reason I have an entrepreneurial mindset.

My mother would say “Try, if you mess up, you can paint over it.

This fearless attitude seeped into my business life. I learned if things do not work out, this is not a failure, but instead, a lesson to learn. The tragedy would be if I had never tried.

I’m grateful to my mother for showing me the setbacks in life teach us, and they can be an opportunity for personal transformation. I’m also thankful for the gift of creativity she passed on to me. The nudge and encouragement pushed me to be an artist and an entrepreneur.

My mother’s fearless approach to painting helped me move boldly toward my goals as a business owner, and I’m forever grateful.

In 2017, I was new to divorce coaching, and divorce coaching was new to the world.

I had written a book called “Surviving the Unwanted Divorce”. No one knew my name as an author. As a result, I did not have publishers lining up to sign me as the next bestseller; self-publishing made the most sense.

My resiliency was built on persistence and a strong work ethic. I put my book on Amazon, and I didn’t get many sales, but I kept on course. I could have easily judged my success based on my results. Instead, I continued to hustle. It took thick skin to stay in a business that didn’t yield much revenue in the beginning. I watched as my colleagues dropped out of the coaching business because of the initial struggle.

The difference was – I dared to suck as an entrepreneur. Each time I made a mistake, it was an opportunity to grow and expand. I never looked at my mistakes as failures, but rather as one step closer to success.

In 2021, I received a call from a friend who had a working relationship with a coach in Poland. The divorce rate in Poland was on the rise, and Polish therapists were looking for resources to help their divorcing clients. After an introduction, the Polish team proposed to buy the rights to translate my book and the rights to my online course called “The Divorce Survival Kit”.

We made a deal!

Writing a book seemed like a costly endeavor, but it ended up being an incredible accomplishment and more evidence that my business was growing. It took tenacity, discipline, and a clear-sighted perspective to realize growing a business takes time and rarely is it an overnight success.

More importantly, it’s perfectly okay to suck in the beginning. Rarely does an entrepreneur come out of the gate killing it.

I also discovered when you love what you do, it’s not work. Coaching is what gets me out of bed in the morning. As a result, I fell in love with the process of building my business. When something didn’t turn out according to plan, instead of criticizing myself, I asked “what did I learn?”

Witnessing the results my clients get from my coaching makes the reward of success that much sweeter. It was worth every bit of the hustle, discipline, and sacrifice I gave to be an entrepreneur.

I had to “unlearn” my natural response to fear which is to avoid it. I learned whatever you fear will control you; now I run toward fear and discomfort as crazy as that sounds.

For me, embracing fear was sitting down with a seasoned attorney to share what I do as a coach. I invited her to lunch, and she peppered me with questions. I felt like I was on the stand in a deposition. Understandably, anyone she recommended had to pass a sniff test of the highest standards; her reputation was on the line. I’m happy to report, by the end of our lunch, she understood divorce coaching could create a better client for her.

If I had run away from the discomfort, I would not have established a referral partner with one of the best divorce attorneys in San Diego.

Embrace your fear, slay the dragon; you will come out on the other side transformed.