We recently connected with Holly Sloofman and have shared our conversation below.

Holly, thanks for joining us, excited to have you contributing your stories and insights. What’s the backstory behind how you came up with the idea for your business?

In February 2022 I was in Mexico to celebrate my birthday. I had moved to LA 6 months prior, and Covid was still requiring folks to wear masks inside and test before coming back to the States. I was loving LA so far, but not having much luck when it came to dating.

A friend and mentor called me to say happy birthday and during our chat she asked how dating was going. I went into a familiar diatribe about how much the apps suck and that I was thinking of deleting them (again) – a cycle I had been through many times before. She asked a question that planted the initial seed for Necterine – “Why don’t you make your own app?”

My immediate answer was, “no way!” – I didn’t have a tech background, couldn’t code, and didn’t know the first thing about where to start when it came to building an app. But, I couldn’t get her question out of my head and over the next two days on the beach in Mexico I was glued to my phone, writing out my plan for what Necterine would eventually become in a note in my Notes App.

To give you some more context, my professional background is in Advertising – I spent over a decade working at some of the biggest ad agencies in NYC on brands like Starbucks, Covergirl, and Kit Kat just to name a few. In 2019 I quit my job and moved to Bali to take some time off and do some soul searching. While I was there, I became a bit of a cliche. I started teaching yoga and practicing Reiki (I’m a certified Reiki Master). That ended up unexpectedly turning into a Wellness Coaching business that took off during covid. At the time I was in Mexico in 2022 I had been working with clients for 2 years, and I was seeing a pattern in my single clients looking for relationships.

I am not a dating coach, and never claimed to be one, but with my clients who were wanting to date, and find healthy love, my approach was to focus on the things I knew would help build a strong foundation for those results. We worked on their self-esteem and self-confidence, we looked at past relationship patterns and dug into the root causes of unhealthy relationship dynamics, we got crystal clear about their non-negotiables, red flags, and their ideal partner and relationship. What I saw time and time again with the clients who really committed to that work was they ended up finding really incredible partners and starting beautiful, lasting relationships. Along the way, while they were dating, instead of every date that was perhaps disappointing feeling like a set back, I tried to reframe those encounters as opportunities for further clarity around what they want and what they didn’t want. We focused on having fun and finding value in each connection.

When I was starting to think through what Necterine would be, I realized that every time I used a dating app, my experience and mindset was the exact opposite of these clients who found healthy love. I would log on to Tinder, Hinge, or Bumble and immediately have a sense of dread – I’d feel bad about my prospects, bad about myself, bad about men, and pretty hopeless and dejected. I knew that there was a huge opportunity to build something that fostered more authentic connections, but also a platform that reminded people of their value and worth and left them feeling positive and hopeful after every interaction in-app regardless of whether they matched with anyone or not. Instead of building something that gamified swiping and gave people mini dopamine hits based on matches, what if we built something that gamified working on self-awareness, self-confidence, and self-worth? What if we built something that created positive feedback loops for people to get clear on what they wanted, but also clear about some of the things they perhaps needed to work on to find the relationship they were seeking?

Instead of solely focusing on helping people find their next date, I wanted to focus on helping people grow through their relationships. The ultimate goal being to help users discover themselves while cultivating connections that support their emotional well-being.

Whether you’re looking for a casual connection, a deep relationship, or simply a way to learn more about yourself, my goal for Necterine was to offer an experience that goes beyond what typical dating apps provide. To change the way people think about relationships and connection, and ultimately change how people date and relate, one interaction at a time.

Awesome – so before we get into the rest of our questions, can you briefly introduce yourself to our readers.

I’m Holly Sloofman, the founder of Necterine, a next-generation dating app and personal growth platform designed to help people build authentic, meaningful connections. My background is in advertising, where I spent over a decade working at top agencies in New York City on global brands like Starbucks, Covergirl, and Kit Kat. But after quitting my job in 2019, I took a leap and moved to Bali to do some soul searching. It was there, amidst yoga and Reiki practice, that I launched a wellness coaching business that took off during the pandemic.

Through my coaching work, I noticed a common theme among my clients—they wanted healthy, lasting relationships, but they weren’t finding them through traditional dating apps. That’s when the idea for Necterine was born. I realized that existing dating platforms weren’t aligned with the work I was doing to help people build their self-esteem, address unhealthy relationship patterns, and discover their ideal partner. I wanted to create something that not only helped people find connections but also helped them grow and build self-awareness along the way.

At Necterine, we solve a fundamental problem in the dating world: the emotional toll that traditional dating apps take on users. Most dating apps focus on instant gratification and matching, which can often leave people feeling bad about themselves, discouraged, or disconnected. Instead of gamifying the swipe culture, Necterine focuses on personal growth, emotional maturity, and fostering authentic interactions. We’re building a platform where users can learn about themselves, develop their confidence, and cultivate relationships that support their emotional well-being—whether they’re seeking something casual or long-term.

What sets Necterine apart is our holistic approach to dating. It’s not just about finding your next date; it’s about improving your relationships with yourself and others. Our app uses tools like coaching with real dating coaches or our AI coach, Necter, resources from experts to support them in their dating experience, and real-time feedback to guide users on a path of self-discovery and personal growth. We also integrate in-person events to create opportunities for users to connect in real life, outside of the digital world.

I’m most proud of Necterine’s mission to prioritize emotional maturity and inclusivity while also providing a fun and accessible space for dating. Our app supports people from all walks of life, no matter their sexual orientation, gender identity, or race. By focusing on the person as a whole, not just their romantic goals, Necterine is changing the way people view relationships and dating.

What I want potential users and followers to know is that Necterine is more than just another dating app. It’s a platform that values self-growth, meaningful connections, and the resilience to navigate the modern dating ecosystem. By fostering openness, non-judgment, and the belief that all connection is valuable, Necterine empowers users to embrace their journey, see an opportunity for connection everywhere, and cultivate relationships, romantic or otherwise, that enrich their emotional well-being.

Can you share a story from your journey that illustrates your resilience?

As a non-technical solo founder, it definitely hasn’t been a smooth or straight-forward path to building Necterine. I’ve gone through a handful of different folks who have worked on my vision and it took a while to find our incredible rockstar founding tech team who I work with now.

I’ve also been bootstrapping, so progress hasn’t been linear as it’s been dependent on my freelance work so there have been moments of great momentum, and moments of pause based on what I could afford.

All that said, a specific story from my journey of building Necterine that illustrates my resilience happened about a year and a half in to building. I was struggling to find a solid engineering team, and knew that because I hadn’t found that founding team yet it was holding us back from forward momentum. As a first-time founder with no tech background, I knew I needed to partner with experts to bring my vision to life, so I ended up being introduced to an agency that promised to help me build the app. Unfortunately, things took a turn a couple months into the partnership. They pushed back against my ideas and didn’t deliver against my vision, and when I pushed back on their pricing or questioned the scope of their work, they became combative. At one point, they even tried to withhold my intellectual property—something I had put countless hours into developing—because I had challenged their charges.

Not only was I dealing with the pressure of building a startup from scratch, but I also had to fight to protect what I had created. It felt like I was being dismissed and underestimated, not just as a founder, but as a woman in a male-dominated industry. The experience could have easily derailed my progress, but instead, it lit a fire in me to take control. I stood my ground, took legal action to protect my IP, and walked away from that partnership quickly.

That experience taught me the importance of trusting my instincts and standing firm, even when others try to take advantage of you or belittle your vision. It also solidified my belief in the power of persistence, as I had to rebuild and find new people who shared my values and vision for Necterine. But I didn’t let that setback define me. It only made me stronger and more committed to Necterine’s mission. It gave be a deeper understanding of how engineering and UX worked, how to direct my new team, and I found new folks who were able to deliver in half the time and cost that the agency had quoted me.

I’ve also encountered plenty of mansplaining along the way—from investors who didn’t take me seriously to advisors who thought they knew better than I did about my own business. I’ve learned to navigate these situations with confidence, knowing that I’m the one leading this company and making decisions that are right for its future.

I think what I’m most proud of is that, through it all, I’ve remained true to my vision for Necterine. I’ve fought for what I believe in, protected my work, and refused to let anyone undermine my journey. That resilience has been crucial in building a brand that isn’t just about dating, but about personal growth, self-awareness, and creating meaningful connections.

Learning and unlearning are both critical parts of growth – can you share a story of a time when you had to unlearn a lesson?

A lesson I had to unlearn was the idea that I had to do everything on my own and that asking for help made me weak.

In the early stages of the company, I felt like if I didn’t have my hands on every part of the business, I wasn’t truly in control, and it made me hesitant to delegate tasks or lean on others for support. I thought that showing vulnerability or asking for help would make me look like I wasn’t fully competent as a founder.

However, as Necterine grew and the challenges became more complex, I quickly realized that this mindset was holding me back. The work I needed to do as a founder was vast—product development, fundraising, partnerships, marketing—and trying to juggle it all on my own wasn’t sustainable. I reached a breaking point where I was stretched too thin, and I had to confront the reality that I couldn’t do everything myself. I had to unlearn the idea that I had to prove my worth by overworking and instead embrace the power of collaboration and team-building.

Once I started letting go and bringing in the right people, that’s when the business truly began to scale. I learned that being a strong leader isn’t about doing it all yourself, it’s about knowing when to delegate, trust your team, and allow others to contribute to the vision you’ve created.

This lesson has not only made me a more effective leader but has also opened the door to a much healthier work-life balance. It’s also a key part of the culture I’m building at Necterine—where collaboration, trust, and shared responsibility are at the heart of what we do.

Contact Info:

• Website: https://www.necterine.com/
• Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/datenecterine/
• Linkedin: https://www.linkedin.com/in/holly-sloofman-44b98bb/
• Other: https://apps.apple.com/us/app/necterine/id6471609071

Image Credits

Mindy Benner