We caught up with the brilliant and insightful Heather Cronemiller a few weeks ago and have shared our conversation below.

Heather , thanks for taking the time to share your stories with us today We’d love to hear the backstory behind a risk you’ve taken – whether big or small, walk us through what it was like and how it ultimately turned out.

“I could never be a business owner—too much financial risk. I’m nothing special; I couldn’t run a successful business. Plus, numbers make my head hurt.” These summed up my attitude towards opening a private practice I had carried most of my career. Life was about to show me that I was wrong and, in the process, made me come face-to-face with some of my biggest fears.

As a young mental health professional, I thought I had my path all figured out. I would work for a mental health agency or the government my entire career. I’d hopefully do something exciting and have my share of adventures in my career, but financially, I’d be set. I wanted a job where I was paid the same amount every pay period. Stability and consistency were important to me.
I have always been a highly anxious person, especially around money. This anxiety wasn’t the level one would expect either. It ran my life and took up far too much space in my head. I admired entrepreneurs who dedicated everything to the hope it would pay off, but that was not for me.

Then 2020 came around. I was employed by the State of Minnesota. Towards the end of summer, rumors of impending layoffs started, putting my anxious mind into overdrive.

During that time, a good friend who had left the State and started a private practice asked if I would work a few hours weekly for her practice. I figured it would be a good idea to have something in place in case the dreaded layoffs happened. I took her up on her offer.

I learned the ropes of practicing therapy in the community, which was significantly different from what I had done in the past. In my last two jobs, I didn’t have to deal with being “dumped” by therapy clients very often. In a closed system with only one to two people doing the job I did, clients assigned to me were generally stuck with me. In the community, however, sometimes therapeutic relationships don’t work out for a wide variety of reasons. Of course, I would turn it inward when a client quit scheduling appointments or didn’t show up for a session. It was all my fault; I was terrible at my job, which meant I would fail to earn money for my family, and we would barely scrape by. I wish this were hyperbole, but these are the things my brain would have me believe.

Time continued to march forward. The fear `of layoffs at my state job was no longer looming. Still, my daughter’s special needs led to a situation where it became clear I would no longer be able to work 40+ hours a week. I needed a significantly flexible schedule. Practicing in the community would offer me that flexibility.

During this time, I began talking with Farmaste Animal Sanctuary about doing mental health programming and therapy alongside their animals. What had started as something I thought was a crazy pipe dream was beginning to look like it might somehow come to fruition. However, working with animals is a whole different ballgame regarding issues such as liability and insurance coverage. I didn’t feel right potentially jeopardizing my friend’s practice because of my new venture. It became clear that starting my own practice was the best way to meet my family’s needs and my new career goals.

“You’re not good enough,” “You’ll never make enough money,” “You won’t be able to get enough people who want to work with you.” These thoughts became ten times as loud, loud enough for my resolve to waiver and ask myself, “Is taking the risk to do this animal-assisted therapy really worth it?” I could have stayed with my friend’s business if I had not followed my dream. There was a steady flow of clients, and the money was good. However, amid this mental turmoil, another inner voice spoke up. “If I don’t take this chance, you will regret it for the rest of my life.” I was fortunate enough to have enough financial stability to feel confident that my family would be cared for even if this venture went south, at least for a short while. I quit my State job, and my private practice opened in November 2021. I took a leap of faith that I always deemed “too much of a risk.”

Somewhere in the blur that was the late 2010s and early 2020s for me, I found a passion for working with people who suffer from what is colloquially called Love Addiction. Love addiction is a pattern in which someone becomes “addicted” to romance or limerence. They typically mistake the intensity of a new romantic relationship as “true love.” They get too attached to romantic partners too quickly. Then, they will look elsewhere for that “spark” once the flame burns out. This may come in the form of affairs or serial monogamy. On the other hand, they may stay in toxic relationships because of the potential for a great romantic relationship. Helping these people identify the core wounds that lead to these behaviors, giving them tools to heal, and watching them grow into empowered individuals who believe in themselves to break these habits and find real, stable love is so rewarding.

In the midst of these significant career shifts, I was asked by Lacy Bentley, author of “Addicted to Love: Recovery, Empowerment, and Finding Your True Self,” to collaborate in creating some online course offerings. I gladly said yes! This was an opportunity to diversify my ability to make money in my business and to find a creative way to help others. I learned so much personally and professionally from these collaborations. Of course, throughout this process, those voices of self-doubt sprang up. They told me that I didn’t deserve these opportunities and that I was riding along on the success Lacy built for herself.

When Lacy and I were marketing the online courses we created, we were contacted by author and sex addiction therapist Dr. Eddie Capparucci. He had written many books on helping men heal from sex addiction, otherwise known as out-of-control sexual behaviors (love addiction is generally considered under the same umbrella as sex addiction as there is significant overlap). I was nerding out! I had taken a group I facilitated through his book Going Deeper: How the Inner Child Impacts Your Sex Addiction and saw the positive impact it made on my group member’s lives (and mine as well).

Dr. Capparucci and I met over Zoom to network, as he was looking for providers to refer women and other genders to. During the meeting, he told me he had been seeking help writing a book that applied his Inner Child Model to working with women. We could be those people if Lacy and I were interested. We enthusiastically agreed.

“What are you doing, Heather? You’re not an author. You don’t know enough about this work. You don’t deserve this.” This time, though, they hit differently. I was learning to cope with them and stop confusing those narratives for truth. I practiced witnessing the thoughts, challenging them, and then letting them go. I learned to acknowledge that I am fortunate to have these opportunities that I would have only dreamed about and understand that I have worked my butt off to get them. It has been a combination of hard work and meeting the right people. I still struggle with those pesky Imposter Syndrome thoughts, but it is more manageable now.

I’m so glad that, despite the negative narratives in my head, I took a risk and trusted myself enough to try terrifying things I felt underqualified to do. Now, I work with amazing clients, sometimes alongside animal assistants, and call myself an author of TWO books (Going Deeper for Women: How Your Inner Child Impacts Your Love and Sex Addiction and the corresponding workbook). I hope that each and every one of you learns that fear does not have to run your life. You can take a chance on yourself. Dreams can come true. You can have above and beyond what you imagine is possible.

If anyone wants to learn more about working with me or the online courses I offer, please check out cronemillercounseling.com. The Going Deeper for Women book and workbook are now available on Amazon as well.

Putting training and knowledge aside, what else do you think really matters in terms of succeeding in your field?

I think it is vital to network with other like-minded business owners. For me, the world of private practice can feel isolative. It can feel awkward to reach out to people you don’t know asking to chat. It is so worth it though. Word of mouth and referrals are incredibly important for my business and the investment of dealing with any awkwardness and taking the time to have those conversations has a huge potential to pay off.

Let’s talk about resilience next – do you have a story you can share with us?

As I mentioned in the story, I offer animal-assisted therapy. I had all of these expectations for what that would look like. In my mind, doing this type of work was my life’s purpose and I would feel so incredibly fulfilled once I started the work. In actuality, it was difficult and discouraging. It is vastly different than doing therapy in the community. Not everyone is a good fit for it. When things weren’t vibing from the start, I was crushed. I kept with it though. It took me over a year to feel like I was in the flow of things. Now, it is rewarding. I don’t feel like the heavens open up with angelic singing every session but I do find a great deal of joy in my work.

Contact Info:

• Website: https://www.cronemillercounseling.com
• Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/cronemillercounseling

Image Credits
Photography by Sweet Light Studios