We’re excited to introduce you to the always interesting and insightful Gitit Kaufman. We hope you’ll enjoy our conversation with Gitit below.
Hi Gitit, thanks for joining us today. Looking back, what’s an important lesson you learned at a prior job?
About 25 years ago, when I was a social worker in Israel, I worked with families who had children or other family members with intellectual disabilities or mental illnesses. My job was to find the right place for them, whether that be the proper school, right work place or the best homes for them to live in. I was in my early 20’s and it was my first job as a social worker. I remember one of the fathers there with a child with mental difficulties. He had asked me, “Do you have children with disabilities?” I answered no. Then he asked me another question in a harsher tone, one with a lot of hurt in it: “Do you have children”? Again, I said no. Then he said to me in a louder, angrier, and more pained voice, “So how can you understand me? How can you help me?”. For a moment I was shocked and hurt. I felt attacked. I held my tears in, not sure how to answer; his words felt like a punch to my gut. Then I recognized that his harshness was not towards me but rather highlighted the pain and anger he felt toward his situation, and the many frustrations he had in his life. I thought about his words for a minute, though it felt longer. I then told him: “I do not need to have children or children with disabilities to understand your pain and be able to help you”. He was quiet for a moment, but then I noticed a calmer look on his face. I realized that my words reached him, that he truly listened. That was a powerful moment for me. Originally, when I began working at that job, I felt lost and unsure about whether or not I was doing the right thing. I wondered if I was even good at what I do. But after seeing the change in the father’s facial expression, I felt more comfortable with myself and my abilities. I realized that I was in the right place, that I found something I was truly satisfied with, something that helps me help others.
As always, we appreciate you sharing your insights and we’ve got a few more questions for you, but before we get to all of that can you take a minute to introduce yourself and give our readers some of your back background and context?
I am a psychotherapist. I work with adults who are dealing with grief, loss, and relationship issues, whether those be relationships within themselves or with others. I provide people a safe, comfortable space where they can share and process their stories as well as life challenges and become more aware about themselves, their abilities, and their old habits.
I named my business “Connecting Dots Counseling”, since I like to believe that that is what I do: I help people to connect the dots in their lives so they can be more aware about themselves and better understand what brought them to where they are. I strive to help people find the ability to make conscious decisions about themselves, so they can move forward from where they are and improve.
I wasn’t always a business owner. I initially worked at the Colorado DOC as a therapist for a little less than three years, and then shifted to working as a therapist in a clinical practice. In these two places, I learned a lot about people and about myself, especially how easy it is to end up in places we vow to never find ourselves. While I have never owned my own business before, it has always been something that I have really wanted to do. Eventually I took that step, but it took me a few years to have enough trust in my own abilities, and remain aware of my weaknesses. I wanted to have the freedom to focus on helping people, which is what I enjoy doing the most. And now, I found that this is really where I thrive, helping people arrive at this “ah-ha” moment.
I do not see myself as someone who is there to solve other people’s problems—I believe it is on them to do so. I am simply there to open their horizon and help them notice how much potential they have to grow as a person. Rather than change others’ lives to make them “better”, I work to teach them how to better themselves so they can see their lives for what they truly are and increase their compassion toward themselves. In other words, I try to expand the “tunnel vision” that so many of us have when it comes to our own personal problems, and help people find the proper perspective and approaches to their emotions.
Ever since I was young, I have always been sensitive to others’ emotions. With that, I have always had the ability to listen to people’s stories and help them reflect on what they might not yet be aware of or their lack of acknowledgment of their needs. Today, I use those abilities to be as successful as possible in helping others, while still being genuine and honest in all of my sessions. That being said, every session looks different; my guidance depends on where the person is mentally and what still needs to be processed. I read others’ body language a lot to make up for what may not be being said in sessions. This allows me to see what is going on in people’s minds, and—when I bring attention to it—it helps them realize what they truly feel as well, helping them connect to their emotional, mental, spiritual, and physical aspects.
What’s been the most effective strategy for growing your clientele?
Growing my clientele is an ongoing process. As a psychotherapist, I find that word-of-mouth is the best strategy for me. Recommendations given from people that others are close with help them feel more comfortable and trusting of the person being spoken about. They allow people who have never heard about me to feel more hopeful about the help I can give them, especially when positive endorsement is being spread by friends they trust and respect. Psychology Today is another good resource. It is very good at publicizing helpful information regarding my practice for potential clients and keeping that information open to anyone who may need it. At the same time, I also rely on the outreach I can achieve through networking groups. I found that being engaging in my communities has been very beneficial. I already feel comfortable and welcomed by the people there, and having that support and trust makes spreading word about my practice there a lot easier. Talking with other business owners also improves my outreach. Doing so allows me to learn about their work and create relationships that may result in a referral but also build partnerships and knowledge about the business world around me. All of these platforms and strategies have helped me find many interested people. To actually acquire those prospective clients, however, I offer a complementary 15-minute video consultation so that those interested can really interact with me and get a sense of who I am. This not only helps them see if I am the right fit for them, but it also makes the process of finding a therapist a lot less daunting and more personal.
Have you ever had to pivot?
In my 20’s, I thought that I knew what direction my life would go in. I got my degree in Social Work in Israel and was working as a social worker, pretty happy with my life. The only thing that I felt I was missing was a partner. I wasn’t expecting to fall in love with a guy, much less one who had moved to the US, and definitely would never imagine that I, myself, would move with him to the US.
This move was one of the biggest pivotal moments of my life. I became an immigrant, and had started a new life in a new country, in a different culture, with a different language, without my family or friends with me for support—only my husband. That, along with having to wait 10 years for a work permit, due to my immigrant status, made my new life look a lot different from how I started out. At that time, I also became a mother and, until I managed to find a job, was “just” a stay-at-home mom (which was overwhelming in itself). While being a new mother, I pursued my master’s degree in counseling (along with my dyslexia) and found the entire process to be a very challenging time for me. From starting off content to facing way more obstacles and pivots in my life than I could ever imagine, I now find myself where I currently am. And, to be honest, all of those struggles and fears led me to a current state of absolute satisfaction. All of the pivots that took place in my life and all of the challenges that I pushed through not only helped me realize that I wasn’t as content as I thought I was in my 20’s, but now also got me to a place that I pleased with.
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