We’re excited to introduce you to the always interesting and insightful Gillian McGhee. We hope you’ll enjoy our conversation with Gillian below.

Gillian, thanks for joining us, excited to have you contributing your stories and insights. Are you happy as a creative professional? Do you sometimes wonder what it would be like to work for someone else?

I’m definitely on a journey of finding more peace in my creative pursuits and releasing myself from certain expectations of what the art should do and how I measure my music’s success.

Something that I’ve learned about myself over the last few years is that I have a tendency to put other people’s needs before my own, even when it comes to creativity. I have kept band members that weren’t a good fit in my bands well after I knew we needed to part ways, but I didn’t want their feelings to get hurt. If I’m in a romantic relationship, I’ve noticed that I stop writing as music and make less time to practice because I’m focused on my partner’s well-being and needs. If the house needs cleaned, I will always keep my place tidy instead of carving out time to write lyrics or play guitar.

As an employee, I am super driven, productive and task-oriented because the thought of letting someone down is truly the worst feeling I can imagine. I make sure to always perform well and be a “good” worker. But since I have become my own creative boss with my project Hi Ho, I’ve noticed that dynamic shifts and that I will often let myself down because I have a history of believing my needs aren’t the most important. Then, once I’ve let myself down, I feel shame and it becomes harder to approach the creative process with a healthy, clear mindset. It’s like, “Well, I’ve already failed, I hate failing, so I should just avoid this for as long as possible,” which is the opposite energy I want to bring into it.

I’m working hard to untether some of my perfectionist tendencies from the writing process and make it feel fun! Otherwise, what’s the point? Music brings me so much joy and a sense of belonging and all I want to do is be a part of that transcendent experience with my own songs. I think our relationship to art making can get so messy when we try to fix it’s validity to some sort of external marker of success, like your art is only “good” if it goes viral on TikTok or you have thousands of followers or getting a million streams on Spotify. The algorithmic success has definitely complicated how I feel about pursuing a music career, you have to be so much more than a good musician with good songs.

I sometimes fantasize about the simplicity of having a normal, 9-5 job because of the financial stability, predictability and it would possibly free me of the seemingly endless pursuit of success in my art. But, I love how every day is different, I love that I spend my time making meaningful connections with people and I love nannying to pay my bills. I have a wonderful work-life balance and I don’t have to answer to anyone. There is a freedom in that, too.

I am currently taking solace in the fact that my songwriting, singing and guitar playing is better than it has ever been before and I have the clarity of seeing all the mistakes I’ve made along the way as important lessons on the path that got me here. I’m being really honest with myself about what I’m capable of and how I am holding myself back, and ready to take the steps to free myself and bring as much joy and truth to my creative process as possible.

Gillian, love having you share your insights with us. Before we ask you more questions, maybe you can take a moment to introduce yourself to our readers who might have missed our earlier conversations?

My name is Gillian McGhee and I’m a Chicago musician and singer-songwriter, and my current project is a moody, melodic rock band called Hi Ho.

I’ve been playing music in front of people since I was 14 years old, starting out playing covers at an open mic at a suburban Irish pub and by 16 I fronted my first punk band, The Regulars. We played at every all-ages venue we could find across across Chicagoland, from coffee shops and basements, to parking lots and legitimate venue stages. We wrote all of our own material, pulling inspiration from our favorite bands and rehearsed our live shows so that they were fun and high-energy. I learned how to be on stage and interact with a crowd, how to book shows and build community around the music we made.

When I went to college, the band dissolved so I could focus on school and my budding journalism career. Writing was always a strong-suit of mine and a place of exploration; I’ve always loved words and the process of putting them together to express myself as beautifully and honestly as I can. Journalism seemed like a good blend of my skillsets and passions, and I was always a high-achieving student and prided myself on that, so music had to take a back seat.

Although I had wanted to pursue music as a career path and I was talented enough to do it, I’m from an immigrant family and the pressure to get a good, safe job so that my life will be easier than my parents was very present. There’s a lot of discourse in families like mine about parental sacrifice and how they will suffer so that I can live a better life and loosely follow The American Dream. My mom in particular was so supportive when I would play music, but truly believed that my brilliant mind would be “wasted” if I used it for art. Her argument made sense to me at the time, so I believed her. I don’t hold any resentment for her saying that because she was doing her best with the worldview she had, but I held on to that mindset for a longtime.

During college, I was playing my guitar and writing songs all the time as a way to cope with all the new experiences and anxieties this chapter brought with it, and I decided to release my first-ever solo EP under the moniker Hi Ho. I started playing shows again my senior year of college as my post-graduate plans cemented, and started building community again, this time in the city with other musicians who were more experienced than I was. While performing my solo acoustic Hi Ho sets, I was recruited to be in a melodic punk band called Turnspit.

Turnspit allowed me to take what I had learned in my high school band and level it up with musicians who were more experienced and connected than me. From the start, Turnspit was loved by our local punk scene and things kept growing from there. After three years at my salaried radio job, I quit to pursue the band full time and went back to serving and bartending to pay the bills.

With effort from everyone in the operation, Turnspit went on to play festivals in the city like Riot Fest and DoDivision, open up for Chicago punk legends like Rise Against, Alkaline Trio and The Lawrence Arms, got signed to a small record label, released 3 EPs and a full-length album and booked two independent tours through the Midwest and East Coast. We relied heavily on each other and our community to get to the next step, but internal conflict took root as our album release got mishandled by our record label (it folded before our record even came out), and Turnspit came to an end in June 2019.

I learned so much about what it takes to be in a great band, how to write collaboratively, record an album, go on tour and so much more over those five very formative years. I was heartbroken at the end of the band and while the relationships within the band were damaged, I was so grateful for the ride. I made a promise to myself then that I would give my music career dream one more try, this time a lot wiser and sure of myself, and turned my solo acoustic project Hi Ho into my main endeavor.

In March of 2020, we demoed to record an EP and had a short weekend run booked and then COVID hit. Over the pandemic, I grappled with giving up on music altogether. Every time it seemed like things were looking up, another road block came in the form of a new variant or challenge in my personal life. Ultimately, I remembered that promise to myself and wanted to see it through, and in February 2023, Hi Ho released our first single and music video for my song “Horizon.” This song marks the rebirth of the project, which started almost 10 years ago with me and an acoustic guitar. Now, I have a new lineup of amazing bandmates who are proficient players and good friends, and a huge, moody, melodic sound that’s very different from the band’s first iteration. Looking back, I’m grateful for the time to organize my ideas and get clarity on what I want to do with Hi Ho moving forward. Things are always moving slower than I hope because life never slows down for our dreams, but we’re gearing up to have an active second half of this year and big plans for 2024.

I’m at a place in my life where I fully believe in my songwriting, my voice, my stage presence, my ability to execute my vision and intentionally lead my band. As a songwriter, I take hold of life’s little moments, emotional vignettes and weave them into a story or feeling I’m trying to get across. Sometimes being super specific makes things more relatable and all I really know is my own story and experience moving through this life, and I want to share that through my music!

Let’s talk about resilience next – do you have a story you can share with us?

I’ve lived with severe asthma and chronic sinus issues my whole life, which makes singing a tricky endeavor if I get sick. When I have an asthma flare up, I’m often bedridden and need to do breathing treatments on a nebulizer every 4 hours for up to 6 weeks. My life has to come to standstill until I get better.

As I’ve gotten older, I’ve made more lifestyle changes to prioritize my health and mitigate my flare ups. When my health starts to decline, it can feel so frustrating, like I’m at odds with my body. I’m a very determined, independent person when I’m well, but it feels like my body is working against me when I get so sick. It feels deeply unfair and it takes a toll on my mental health as well.

This year, I had one of my worst flare-ups of my life and had to cancel two days of recording and band practice for a month, played a show on steroids and stopped creating content to promote Hi Ho’s debut single just 2 weeks after its release. Because of that, I had to pivot and change my game plan for the rest of the year, but I’m still moving forward, albeit at a slower pace than I had hoped.

What’s the most rewarding aspect of being a creative in your experience?

The most rewarding part about being a musician is being inspired and connecting with all the other creative people I meet along the way. I love learning about other people’s artistic process, what they draw inspiration from and how they see the world. I love collaborating with other creatives for my project, Hi Ho.

For example, our music video for our single ‘Horizon’ was shot by my friend Milo Mendoza. He helped execute my vision and had awesome ideas that I didn’t think of when we were shooting. I had an idea to have a dance in the video and my friend Kait Dessoffy wrote and performed original choreography to my song. I’ve never collaborated with a dancer before, and Milo beautifully captured the dance and its energy and weaved it into the final video perfectly. The end result was so different and so much better than the original idea in my head and that’s because I was able to collaborate with talented friends and trust them to do their art mindfully and authentically. We all interpreted the song differently and came up with a super professional, cinematic music video for our debut single.

I also love the energy and connection with an audience and being on stage. When people come up to me after a show and share something personal about how my music or performance touched them, that’s what it’s all about. If I bear my heart and soul up there, it makes people feel less alone and more connected. It breeds compassion, understanding and open-heartedness. We need more of that in our world and if I can help add a little bit more with my art, then I’ve done what I set out to do.

Contact Info:

• Website: https://linktr.ee/hiho.gillian
• Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/hiho.gillian/
• Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/@hiho
• Other: Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/artist/3QxA5rkdpgJFPv5eemeOuE?si=T4FiiTYYRi2sco-1B5BWrg Apple Music: https://music.apple.com/us/artist/hi-ho/1442582307

Image Credits
Sam Porter, Kennedy Cottrell, Tracy Conoboy