We’re excited to introduce you to the always interesting and insightful Gary Walker. We hope you’ll enjoy our conversation with Gary below.
Gary , thanks for taking the time to share your stories with us today We’d love to hear about a project that you’ve worked on that’s meant a lot to you.
Gary and Trish Walker have both experienced the benefits of the healing practices of art, meditation and mindfulness to combat the trauma of their own PTSD. After being self-employed for over 30 years, Gary and Trish are on a new journey to help Warriors find their calm…This is their passion project.
Gary, a disabled Air Force veteran and artist, practices art to deal with the crushing anxiety and depression caused by this PTSD.
Trish, a licensed yoga instructor and recent breast cancer survivor, draws upon her experience and expertise
to present the meditation and mindfulness portions of the classes.
Gary , love having you share your insights with us. Before we ask you more questions, maybe you can take a moment to introduce yourself to our readers who might have missed our earlier conversations?
Trish and I started several different companies over the last 30 years, but there was always this underlying anger, depression, and struggle. We sold our janitorial company; we had grown it out of our garage with just the 2 of us into a far reaching enterprise with 250 employees and cleaning 147 buildings when it was all said and done.
We thought it was the stress that was going to kill me, not knowing that it would be the PTSD that almost ended my life. When I had very little to focus on the PTSD raged!!! I started to drink, self-medicate, and the dangerous behavior was off the charts. My life was in that downward spiral headed to becoming a pile of flaming wreckage that everyone was slowing down to stare at. I became suicidal, and planned my death while Trish was in Mexico with a women’s group. I to put a gun in my mouth, jacking rounds hoping that it would just go off.
As I went deeper and deeper into the abyss, all I could think about was my amazing wife or even my incredible daughter, Madi, finding me. I had to look like an accident. I had a very large million-dollar life insurance policy in place, and I wanted to leave Trish secure, I had to burn myself up or crash into a bridge. My mind raced for days while I stayed locked in our massive house, and I just kept thinking of the ways I could finish the job! As I started to put the final plan in place, my mother called my cell. She knew that I had been struggling but had no idea that I was ready to kill myself. The voice was soft and calm while I was in full chaos mode. She said “Buddy, I know you are struggling, but with Trish in Mexico, you have time to paint me a picture like when you were 15.” She went on “like the one you won the blue ribbon for at state, you know, Raggedy Ann.” She then said, “I still have it in the magic bedroom hanging on the wall over the bed.”
Angrily I agreed to do her painting, I would be my final gift to her. I drove drunk and stoned out of my head to Hobby Lobby to buy supplies to paint one final time. With paint, canvas, brushes, Jack Daniels, pain meds, and several cigars…I painted! For 13 hours I painted, rarely sitting down, which was a miracle, at this point I have had 14 back operations and was in chronic pain. When I was finished, I had created 13 pieces of original art, they weren’t master pieces, but they were mine and I started to see some daylight.
I asked for help, I got help, WE put my life back together as I faced the reality of PTSD being with me for the rest of my life. But getting your life back to normal is difficult at best when you have caused so much damage.
We lost our other business due to the loss of a contract we had for over 14 years with the VA. Unfortunately, after 27 years in business together, we had to file bankruptcy. Just a year after all of the business issues, my retina detached, and I lost 50% of my vision in my left eye,
Trish was diagnosed with breast cancer the day after her birthday in 2019. We were battered, beaten, and bruised but never gave up on each other, we continued to fight on and move forward. She had to have both breasts removed, all the lymph nodes removed from the left armpit, followed by chemo, radiation, and more surgeries, she was fired from her job, even though she never called in sick after all the treatment. All of her treatments were during COVID, talk about a rough 2020. She has been in remission for 2 years now.
My hip was bone on bone, and I could barely walk from years of having a bad back. Just 3 days removed from walk our daughter down the aisle, I had a full hip replacement.
I know that this is a very long story, but we are almost there…Hang in there! Through a 5-year period we struggled mightily; We were broken, hurt, and sad from all our losses, but we still had each other and a love that could not be torn apart.
And one day as I sat in my art studio, I reflected back on the moment where I started painting again. I came home late that night, 2:00am, I woke Trish up and told her that I had an epiphany while I was painting tonight. I had only taken me 40 years to return to art and that it was helping me manage my PTSD better than all the meds. That night Monkey Brain Art was born!
For you, what’s the most rewarding aspect of being a creative?
This question is best answered by our Warrior Artists who attended a Monkey Brain Art class:
Here are a few comments from students who have completed our art courses, attesting to their high
quality and helpfulness. (Comments are anonymous to protect the students’ privacy.)
“You guys are the best! So grateful for your willingness to meet us where we are, save space for
us, and teach us awesome things! I’m very glad I signed up. It has been exactly what I needed.”
“You are saving my life! I have been in my apartment for several months and I didn’t know where
to turn to help with my thoughts. I even bought art supplies but was frozen with fear, panic, and
thoughts of suicide. You gave me a place to start and showed me that someone still cares about me
and what I am going through.”
“I am no longer suicidal because I have something to live for. Art saved my life.”
“From entering the door, the first moment until leaving at the end of the course it was nothing
short of amazing. Even though this is an introductory course to multiple modalities of art, the
instruction was solid, and I was able to repeat the projects at home with no problems. This made it
nice since I was able to pay it forward by teaching my kids and creating something new with the kids
was a huge hit. The environment that is created by the team makes you feel safe and included which
was perfect since some of my issues include PTSD, Anxiety, and depression. That is not something
that I normally get to feel whenever I am outside of my own home. Monkey Brain Art’s mission is
amazing and the people who make it all happen are even better.”
“I absolutely loved the experience at Monkey Brain Art. Even though it is not art therapy since
the instructors are not therapists, the art itself brought me great calm and peace that I haven’t had the
luxury of having in many years since I am the mother of two and the caregiver to a disabled veteran.
Learning new ways to create art helped me so much I can’t explain. Art is a fantastic and helpful
coping mechanism, and I can’t wait to see where the squad takes the program in the future.”
“One day after leaving a funeral, I was driving and saw a VA Stand down location event near
90th and Troost Ave. I wanted a field jacket, so I stopped in. On my way in to get the products, I saw
10 the most beautiful piece of art I’d seen in a long time. I stopped and inquired about the piece. There
was a man painting currently and a woman signing up people to attend an art class thru the VA. I
thought, “If they can teach me to do this, I’m in!” So I signed up.
After a few weeks I received a notice that I was accepted to the course, at no cost. I had forgotten
about signing up, so the notice was a surprise. I thought, “This is God helping me to move in a new
direction.” My current physical condition prevents me from continuing in my 48-year career field as
an auto mechanic. When I attended the first class, I was hooked! Not only would I learn to enhance
my skills with several artistic techniques, I would also learn how to create peace thru the many stressful
events I was dealing with, by adopting some simple practices of meditation and self-help. IT WAS
GREAT!”
“Monkey Brain Art helps you get to the art and leave the monkey behind. I feel the course didn’t
last long enough. I so looked forward to the classes each Tue like a child looks for Christmas on
Christmas Eve night. Don’t you guys, Bobby, Gary, Katy, Casey, and the others, stop doing what you
do. You are helping in ways you can’t imagine. Keep up the good work Monkey Brain Art! You guys
are a blessing! I found new friends.”
“I’ve been cooler than a cucumber these days! Through meditation and mindfulness, I’ve
managed to keep my PTSD at bay! This Air Force Veteran keeps calm and creates!”
“Taking the Monkey Brain Art has impacted my life in a very positive way. I was first introduced
to meditation and art as healthy coping skills when I was hospitalized for depression and suicidal
ideations in 2018. When I was released, I was proud of the fact that I had made some beautiful things.
After being released, I bought some coloring books, markers, crayons, and colored pencils. Fast
forward a few years, and I hadn’t really picked up the coloring books in a while. Taking the Monkey
Brain Art class helped me find some other art mediums that I really enjoy. Being able to try a different
kind of art each week helped me find one kind that really brings me joy. Since graduating the class I
have been able to go on to create more beauty, and the piece that was framed and given to me at
graduation I now have hanging in my home, and it reminds me to slow down and take time to create.
I have also begun practicing meditation and mindfulness much more frequently since taking the class.
Very grateful for Monkey Brain Art!”
What do you think is the goal or mission that drives your creative journey?
Helping Warriors find their calm and addressing the epidemic of suicide among those who serve.
Using Art, Meditation, and Mindfulness to calm the Warrior’s unsettled mind from the devastating effects of Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder, commonly known as PTSD.
We will provide a safe environment, meet them where they are at, and hold space for them.
Twenty-two veterans commit suicide every day, for a total
of 8,030 per year. There is a subset of this group with a
special problem – they have Post Traumatic Stress
Disorder (PTSD). They understand all too well how it
affects the mind.
Without Monkey Brain Art and other
veteran-focused programs, the tragic loss of veterans will
not slow.
Our country sent an entire generation off to the Middle
East during the last twenty years, and because of these
warriors’ experiences during deployment(s), we now have
citizens with moral injury, PTSD, Traumatic Brain Injury,
drug dependencies, and numerous chronic illnesses.
Someone needs to step up and fill the gap; help a hurting
group of warriors with more mental health issues than
ever before.
Approximately 37% of current and past first responders
have contemplated suicide at some point in their lives.
This is nearly ten times the rate of all American adults. Even more worrisome is that 31 per day actually
commit suicide, for an annual total of 11,315. There is also a select group of first responders who
suffer from PTSD.
Veterans with PTSD who participate in Monkey Brain Arts classes have found that creating art,
combined with practicing meditation and mindfulness, has helped calm their unsettled minds and
better deal with the ravages of PTSD. First responder participants in Monkey Brain Art classes, they,
too, have found that creating art and practicing meditation and mindfulness helps them find their calm
and better deal with their condition.
As the co-founders of Monkey Brain Art, we ourselves have traveled down the path of darkness,
depression and despair, yet we learned to manage “the Monkey” and settle our minds. It is now our
goal to welcome our brothers and sisters back home, welcome first responders into our classes and
be there to listen and help them all heal.
Contact Info:
- Website: www.monkeybrainart.org