We’re excited to introduce you to the always interesting and insightful Gabby Jimenez. We hope you’ll enjoy our conversation with Gabby below.

Hi Gabby, thanks for joining us today. We’d love to hear the story behind how you got your first job in the field that you currently practice in.

I was working as a safety coordinator for steel and iron construction companies. My role at the time was to educate ironworkers how to practice safety on the job site. I had just finished with one company, helping to improve their rating, and was in between projects when my friend asked if I could come help care for her husband John so that she could work. He was diagnosed with Prostate Cancer and was dying. I had never had any experience in this field, all I knew was that my friends needed help and I wanted to be there.

I slept in the twin bed next to his twin bed, I stayed with him during the day while his wife worked, I helped him with his daily routine, and I watched a man I love, a strong, healthy, vibrant man, become completely dependent on others. This broke my heart, but I couldn’t imagine being anywhere else. I watched his hospice team come in and attend to his medications, his symptoms, and other needs as his body declined. I was so in awe of the work they were doing for him. I knew then that I was meant to do the same.

He was funny, I always thought I was funnier though. We joked a lot. He started hobbling when he waked, so I gave him the nickname “penguin.” He started calling me, “Joker.” Those nicknames stick with us until he died.

From the moment I met John, many years before, he was always inspiring, encouraging, and motivating me to do things outside my comfort level. He believed in me in ways no one ever had. I always wanted him to be proud of me. I truly believe he is why I am doing what I do now.

After he died, I went to the adult school near my home and became a home health aide and learned how to be a caregiver for the elderly. After working part time for different families, I finally settled in with a married couple in their eighties. The more I cared for them, the more I realized how things change when someone begins to age. They are treated less respectfully, given less credit for their abilities, and oftentimes dismissed. I felt like I had to advocate for them in ways that should have already been in place. They were not being heard or even seen in a way I felt they deserved. I wanted to change that, and decided at the age of 45, to go to nursing school to become a nurse, a hospice nurse specifically.

I was accepted into the program, took the prerequisites and surprisingly did well, and was ready to start nursing school. But, they needed my high school diploma. and I had not graduated high school. They promised to hold my spot but I only had a few weeks to get that done. I went back to the adult program and the teachers there volunteered their time to help me study for the GED. I took the test and passed. In one week I graduated high school, and started nursing school.

I continued to work for the elderly couple full time and went to nursing school at night. They supported me every step of the way, even allowing me to do my homework while with them. Their whole family supported me. I was there when both of them died.

Nursing school was hard. I was doubting my intelligence most of the time, comparing myself to the twenty-somethings in the class, feeling old and ridiculous. I also discovered that I was dyslexic, which actually made so much sense, and learned how to study better and retain information, but I failed the last module, which was Psyche, and had to say goodbye to the current class I was in, and go back and re-do that part over again. I felt so defeated. It was humiliating. I wanted to quit. But I went back in and joined the class, who had all been working together for the last 12 months, and braced myself. They welcomed me, and they were incredible. And because I had already taken that portion of the program, I was actually able to help them, and we all studied together and supported one another. I passed the NCLEX on the first try. I remember walking across the stage at graduation, and I looked up at the sky, and said, “You were wrong dad, I am smart,” and then I walked over to my son who was waiting for me on the stage to pin me. I was a nurse. It was one of the proudest moments of my life.

My first job as a nurse was with a facility who did not care for their patients well, certainly not respectfully. And when I would sit with hospice patients, (there were only two) I was scolded and told to go back to passing medications, which was my job. I walked out of that place after a few weeks. I couldn’t stomach the way they ignored their patients, not treating them humanely. When I quit, I had to have an exit interview, where I shared all of the things I witnessed. They actually asked me to come back to work there a few times but I refused. I am happy to say that I have been there since that time, to see patients, and things have changed significantly.

Gabby, before we move on to more of these sorts of questions, can you take some time to bring our readers up to speed on you and what you do?

I am a hospice nurse and work full time in that role. I visit with patients and their families to help support, educate, and care for them as they navigate death, dying, and grief. I became an end-of-life doula to be able to add more to what I was already doing. It offered me a deeper and more spiritual understanding of how truly sacred death is, and to honor it by being fully present.

I have written multiple books hoping to help educate others who are currently working in this field, or want to, so that we can collaboratively help improve the way people are cared for when they die. I love teaching, and inspiring others. I think my favorite thing to do is to help others see their gifts and trust their abilities to provide beautiful, heart-centered care.

I have learned so much doing this work, and I have had incredible teachers and mentors. I am reminded every single day that I do not know it all, but I do know a lot and it is meant to be shared, just like it was shared with me by those I respect.

In 2019 I started a FB page called The Hospice Heart. My intention was to create a safe place for people to talk about death and dying. I learned rather quickly that this is a taboo subject and most people avoid it. I think it is mostly fear, but also uncertainty. I really think that some people believe that if they talk about it, it will happen sooner. I know that is not true, and I want to help them understand that as well. I wanted to create a platform for the conversation in a way that welcomed curiosity about all of it; death, dying, and grief. Since 2019 that community has grown to almost 144,000 followers. I love their involvement in my posts; their comments, their vulnerability, their questions, the things they share, and most of all, the way they comfort and support one another. I try to add new content every day, changing the topics to keep it interesting. I share a lot about my lessons from my work, stories about my patient visits, and every time I learn something new that inspires me. When my brother died in 2022 my grief took over and even though I had many losses prior, it was this loss that brought all my unresolved grief to the surface. I wrote about it every day, and the community wrote back. In many ways we supported one another. They helped me a lot. And I believe I helped them too. Some even sent me personal messages on the second anniversary… they remembered, and that touched my heart.

My first few books, “Soft Landing,’ “The Hospice Heart,” and “At the Bedside,” are a combination of patient stories, lessons and tips and tools for those who are doing this work, whether personally or professionally. “What Would Gabby Say,” was written for my Hospice Heart Community. I received an email from a follower with “What would Gabby say?” in the subject line. It was a question about death and dying. I shared the question and my answer on the page. This started the hundreds of questions I received. For about a year I would post my answers. Someone asked how they could get all of them, so I wrote this book and dedicated it to The Hospice Heart community.

As I became more confident and comfortable in this role, perhaps even more mature, I realized I wanted to offer something easier, more effective and helpful to those doing this work. I also wanted it to be affordable. So I started a series of easy-to-read booklets. The first is called “End-of-Life Tips,” which is filled with the questions I am asked most often, my answers to them, and information I hope will help others feel more confident at the bedside, with a little less fear. I wrote “Dignity Day,” which is about Medical Aid in Dying, for the person who is choosing to exercise their legal right to do this, for the people who love and care for them, but also for those who do not support this option but love someone who is doing it, as I wanted to find a way to encourage them not to walk away. The third book in this series is “Healing a Grieving Heart,” which is about my grief journey, the things I learned along the way, and tools to help others, including a candle lighting ritual at the end, that they can do at home. The fourth book is currently being written… I’ll keep it a secret for now.

I teach classes via zoom and in person.

I have a Hospice Master Class, which helps people know what resources are available for them, what hospice covers, and I try to change the negative connotation about Hospice hoping people will start sooner rather than waiting until the last minute, which so many do. Hospice is not a diagnosis, it is a plan of care for the diagnosis and can help improve the quality of life at the end of life in a way that can be the difference between pain and peaceful.

I teach a class called “At the Bedside,” which is an introduction to becoming an end-of-life doula.

I teach two ritual & ceremony classes, one that focuses on grief, and the other focuses on forgiveness of self and others. I hand over tools to help others work through their anger, regret, guilt, sadness, and pain using ritual and ceremony, and I teach them how to create healthy rituals of their own which can bring them comfort and peace.

I partnered with a friend of mine, a yoga and Ayurvedic practitioner, to offer a self-care class once a month that focuses on breath work, meditation and yoga. Each month we offer something different and new.

I also offer a “Best Three Months” class, which is what I learned from my doula training, but have made it my own. It is a seven-week deep dive to encourage people to evaluate their life, find out what is most important to them, and if they only had three months, what could they do differently? I also help them to create an end-of-life plan, which honors their wishes, to be given to those they love. This is for someone who is terminal, those caring for someone who is terminal, end-of-life workers, or anyone who just wants to plan ahead, and also live a fuller, more vibrant life.

All of my classes are affordable, but not everyone can afford them, so I do offer scholarships.

I also do speaking engagements, which I love, although they were really scary at first. I get super nervous, and my face turns red, and my whole body shakes. I admittedly have “imposter syndrome” all the time, but when I stand up in front of 2 or 200 people, and talk about something I am so incredibly passionate about, it fills me up. If I could survive financially on motivating, inspiring and educating others on the topic of end-of-life care, grief, and life, I would truly be in my happy place… but I would need to still see patients too… I never want to stop being at their bedside.

Any stories or insights that might help us understand how you’ve built such a strong reputation?

I truly believe it is about consistency, honesty, and heart.

I have never moved away from what I stand for and believe in. I am consistently me all of the time. I am reliable and trustworthy and that is so important in this work. I am the same me with my family and friends as I am with patients and family members. This is important to me, because I never want to get confused, perhaps forgetting who I am and what role I am “playing.” I am not an actress, this isn’t a role, this is who I am.

I am openly vulnerable. I am not perfect and I don’t claim to be. I do not know it all, and I do my best to make that clear. I believe that these qualities are what has helped me to earn trust and respect.

I sometimes compare myself to others doing this work, the ones with a large social media following, being invited to speak on stages I only dream of, perhaps having an actual publisher for their books, not having to self-publish. I am admittedly envious, but I am happy in my lane. I don’t want to compete with anyone. When I go there, which I have before, I struggle with the emotions that it elicits, especially self doubt.

I think what has built my reputation is that people can trust me. I am exactly who I say I am and I think that is really important.

If you could go back, would you choose the same profession, specialty, etc.?

I would not go back and choose this profession, because I think it chose me, and I think it had to happen exactly as it did. I also think that everything I did up to this point, personally and professionally, gave me what I needed to be able to do this work the way I do. I have had bumps and hurdles, I have been beaten and bruised, I failed multiple times, and all of that has given me the strength, belief, courage, and purpose that allows me to truly understand what it means to be present for someone else completely and unselfishly, not making it about me, and holding space in a way I never could have if I hadn’t gone through it all.

Life happens and sometimes it’s not easy, in my case… a lot of times… but if you truly sit back and watch it unfold, and believe in magic and miracles, good things do happen. It was worth the wait, I am exactly where I am supposed to be.

Contact Info:

• Website: www.thehospiceheart.,net
• Instagram: @gabrielle.elise.jimenez
• Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/thehospiceheart.net

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