We were lucky to catch up with Ericka De Alexander recently and have shared our conversation below.
Alright, Ericka thanks for taking the time to share your stories and insights with us today. What’s been the most meaningful project you’ve worked on?
I created a web series called “If The World Was Ending” (now streaming on YouTube, by the way!), it is a queer magical realism dramedy– and the thing that might have kept me alive through some of the darkest times in my life. I know, it sounds a bit dramatic, doesn’t it? But with living through a pandemic, and losing loved ones that one day were fine, and the next they weren’t, the concept of living a life (and a living one worth living) started roaming in my mind nonstop. In 2021, I started writing a concept for a web series– I had been working as a producer on some projects, but there was so much I wanted to share and didn’t have the words for at the time, so I started writing my feelings out. Gave those feelings names and characters, and suddenly, I had a handful of characters based on different aspects of my life. By the beginning of 2022, I had written 6 scripts. With my background in producing, I took a look at my scripts and my resources, and re-wrote some scenes to make it shootable with what I had accessible to me. I reached out to friends and collaborators, and pitched a “hypothetical web series”, and after I found the right people who had a passion for telling stories and being creative, I shared the scripts with them.
During this time, I was actually also working on a short documentary called “The Cleaning Lady”, and I was travelling to Mexico for some additional photography, while dealing with prep for this new web series. My life absolutely changed when I flew back to the US, a few weeks before starting filming for this web series. I was in a long-term relationship that abruptly and painfully ended when I came back home. At the time, I was quite confused by the sudden heartbreak and internalised a big amount of guilt and responsibility, which ultimately made me question my self-worth to such a degree that I felt like I wasn’t good or worthy enough of loving and being loved. I allowed for too much self-doubt to grow inside me to the point that I was (trigger warning) actually suicidal. Luckily, I made the right call to the right person, and was able to centre myself. I think realising how the pain I was allowing to come into my life was affecting those I loved, felt like a wake-up call to work on myself even more. As I started my healing journey, I held onto the idea of this web series as the one thing I kept looking forward to every morning. It felt like the perfect opportunity to explore my feelings and be creative, while being surrounded by people I love.
So, our web series pretty much explores the question “if you only had a few days left in earth, would you do anything differently?”, this and the fact that the character I play (Sophia Luna) was dealing with a breakup, felt like not only signs, but honestly, comedic aspects of my life that I was now being forced to confront in a safe space, which for me is film and storytelling. For the next 10 months, my team and I balanced work and life to make space to create our web series.
By writing about all the misfortunes that our characters go through (most based on my own experiences) I found some sort of freedom I didn’t know I needed. And as we started sharing this project with people, it was such an extraordinary experience to hear others could relate to the good and the bad. I am so eternally grateful to my awesome friends-collaborators, and my incredible and amazing talent. Together, through 2022, we brought a world to life that explores vulnerable human experiences (in a bit funny ways) while highlighting Queer and Latine stories. For me, as a Queer Latine filmmaker, I have always felt like we don’t have enough representation, and wanted to focus creating a show that would defy stereotypes and normalise our narratives (and all of this happens in magical realism, which makes it all much more fun!).
Our series is streaming on YouTube, and we have more than 160K total views currently. The show has drama, romance, friendship, chaos, hope… and some other wild things that happen. Ultimately, I hope that this show can help those who watch it feel hopeful, and to “make it (their life) count”. Which is the biggest thing I have learned myself through this process.
Great, appreciate you sharing that with us. Before we ask you to share more of your insights, can you take a moment to introduce yourself and how you got to where you are today to our readers
I am a Mexican-British director/writer/actor, and poet. I went to film school at the University of Southern California, where I focused on directing and producing. I produced several graduate and undergraduate thesis films, and other short films, which gave me a solid ground on learning about independent producing, and finding whatever resources you can have available to be able to create. Since then, I have directed several short films (which have screened at festivals such as Cinema Italian Style, LA Shorts International Film Festival, Female Filmmakers Film Festival, etc), music videos, and now a web series. Some of my favourite genres to focus on are drama/dramedy and magical realism.
Along with filmmaking, I am also a poet. My latest poetry book, “Good Souls Make Mistakes”, is available on Amazon. Poetry for me is an incredibly vulnerable way to share with the world my experiences in love, self-love, unloving. I am currently working on my second poetry collection, which is a photo-poetry collection called “Something To Say About Love” in which I interview and photograph people who share with me their perspective and experiences of love. Being so in touch with my emotions and vulnerability as a poet is something that helps me stay grounded and open when I’m working in film, especially directing, writing, and acting. I think that we tend to focus on the business and “goal approach” aspect of our industries too narrowly, but I have learned that it is equally important to enjoy the process and actually be able to connect with those around you. Art is such a blessing and a privilege to create, and that should be our priority when we engage in it.
You can see some of my film and poetry work on my main instagram account (link shared below).
Do you think there is something that non-creatives might struggle to understand about your journey as a creative? Maybe you can shed some light?
I think one of the toughest things of being an artist and embarking on a journey that is so unpredictable, is the fear of instability. I tend to share with my people that I am not doing this because of the money– I couldn’t care less about making money. And many instantly think that I have, like, an intention to be poor? It sounds a bit silly. But we have been conditioned by society and history to think with this “Black and White” mentality. We look at the extremes to measure our decisions because we are so afraid of being exposed, vulnerable.
One of the things I find myself constantly explaining to folks that are not following a creative path, is that, if one is creating art from the heart, we are doing it because it gives us life, it makes us feel good. It feels like it is a necessity. We are not doing it because we want the monetary compensation that comes with it– of course we do want to make money off of our art (who wouldn’t??) — but that is not the priority. Because this is something that comes from our soul, and we are open and willing to experience the vulnerability and the pain, and the love of it. We know what the alternative of this is, if we were to choose to play it safe (for us)– to be stable and predictable. We know that we would not be able to find the “magic” we find when we give ourselves to our art, and that is the trade that we are willing to make to feel this fulfilment. It is not about the money, you can make money doing anything (any job) but doing your very own thing– this comes with a new panorama of priorities. And I think that if you are in this world, and you give your bare self to it, things will flow your way. Nothing in life ever happens in your favour if you force or pressure it, that is a recipe for delusions.
We just focus on ourselves, and we take care of ourselves and work to make all our basic needs met, and our energy we focus it on the present. In our work, and we believe in it, unabashedly. We do this to connect with our community, and if it’s genuine, we will. And then something else can happen from there. It’s unpredictable and sometimes crazy, but such is life!
What do you find most rewarding about being a creative?
I think the most rewarding aspect of being creative is freedom. To think less and feel more. I genuinely believe it brings life back to you when you allow yourself to feel, to fail, to be present. What is the point of life if we are not enjoying what we are doing on our day-to-day basis? Who can even get to know us if we don’t allow ourselves to get to know ourselves? So many of us, adults, are sad/disconnected/in pain. And many times it is because we buried painful things inside us and we now carry that weight… right? When you give yourself to art, you are releasing yourself from that armour. The one we began putting on the moment we experienced pain for feeling, since we were kids. It is not a sign of weakness to be childish, but we tend to see it as such because of the pain we experienced when we were vulnerable. But do not forget about the joy too. The freedom. The happy moments we hold onto.
When you are creative, you are getting in touch with that vulnerable, innocent part of yourself. That is why it is so, so worth it. It makes you feel alive; please remember– we are not here to survive, we are here to live.
Contact Info:
- Instagram: https://www.
instagram.com/ erickadealexander/ - Youtube: https://www.youtube.
com/channel/ UCDBGnQTo3aR7tClRFOF2h4A - Website: https://
erickadealexander.com - Other: Instagram account for project (If The World Was Ending): https://www.
instagram.com/ iftheworldwasendingofficial/ - Other: Instagram account for poetry: https://www.instagram.
com/poetrybyeri/ - Other: Poetry Book: https://www.amazon.com/
dp/B09NH3993P/ref=cm_sw_r_api_ i_74JD4GRDF7G9V4VKYH38_0
Image Credits
Emerson Lee, Brian Charbonnel