We caught up with the brilliant and insightful Ephraim López a few weeks ago and have shared our conversation below.
Ephraim, thanks for taking the time to share your stories with us today Are you happier as a creative? Do you sometimes think about what it would be like to just have a regular job? Can you talk to us about how you think through these emotions?
This is the best I have ever felt about my career and my work. I’m happier and braver. Feel more hopeful. More comfortable. The most I have ever felt my point of view in the world, or my lens, is in my creative process/inspiration. Which meant spending a lot of time living fully as myself, expressing myself, in social interactions, in writing poetry, trying new things, and stretching my comfort zone. Enjoying more my east coast queer Afro-Boricua-ness. Letting my own instincts come through. And the best part is, I can feel it’s only just starting to grow more and more. I allow my full gender expression to come through. My tough sides, my fem sides, my regal sides, my dirty sides, and dare I say it, even my happy sides! I would say it’s accurate to say I am “friendly, but lethal.”
Because it was a struggle to get here, a struggle that has led me to be me, of which I am the most grateful for. THANK YOU THERAPY! I’m a hot mess is so many ways, but I’m good with it. It’s because I have grown to know much more deeply who I am and leaned into it. Sometimes the business will feel like it’s asking you to change who you are, but my advice is don’t. In some ways, I have no idea WHAT I’m doing, but I can feel/sense when I am doing it right. What actions feel right to move forward. It’s an inner knowing. I trust myself to know what’s best for me among the noise of the actor industrial complex.
This is tough for people to understand at times because most of the work performers do is not very public. It’s auditions or readings, or just acting for the sake of acting, for the joy of it. Taking classes and working on comedic skill sets(Way harder than drama, in my opinion.) Professionally auditioning for work can have very little feedback in the process, especially starting out. This has been a slow burn, a long road on which I just hit the next level of access and success. Not just in the professional performer industry, but in myself. Not without doubts in the rehearsal process or bouts with perfectionism. (Haha) Or even battling model minority capitalistic expectations to be better than my white counterparts.
Auditions, our job interviews, or even jobs are weird in a way at times, because a lot of factors come into play regarding how much preparation you can do, understanding what the artistic team envisions. Learning to give your best authentic interpretation and be ok with it, is one of my biggest successes lately. Learning to grow from it and get better. Learning to integrate artistically with artistic leadership. I do ME — and I already know for some folks, it’s not their cup of tea, but it may be the cup they need down the line. When I don’t do me, I feel like I could have done a better job. (as if being good or bad even matters.)
This also means, I define what being a successful actor is. What happiness as an artist is. It cannot always be money. Tho, this is the most I worked and made more money in the last year than I had in film/tv/VO work. So, yes, I am happy as a creative, regardless of how that is represented in the world.
There has been difficulty at times to allow my true self to risk being shown. I tend to see a different response than others in life and acting. I have allowed myself to completely break and regrow. Be more often easier on myself. As someone with a history of severe mental health issues off and on in my life, from anxiety, depression, suicidal ideation, low-self-worth, to have not just overcome so much of that, but integrate it as part of my artistic expression, is my greatest artistic achievement of my life, and it makes me so very happy.
Have I ever thought about doing a “regular job” Hell fucking yeah. Sometimes I want to be a lawyer, which was my other possible college focus. One of my mentors from college is an actor/writer/teacher/director/lawyer, and his work and life has always inspired me. (Thank you Charles Dumas!) As I grew into the professional actor world, I also worked in arts administration and non-profit arts and advocacy work. I’ve done everything from the box office, to receptionist, to personal assistant work, to creating programs to address diversity and lack of representation in the industry. I have always been an activist to some extent, coming out at 17 and being one of few Brown folks in the area where I grew up when I was not Puerto Rico. I love working with actors and coaching actors, so, I would love to integrate that into my overall work life. I am lucky, because there have been several times in my life where I had to be less actor career-focused. For example, prioritizing helping care for my father for years until he passed. So I’ve worn many hats, and I’m not as fearful of what that means, since I get to define my life.
Fo context: there have been times I have had dollars to my name and much more money. So of course, it’s natural to think, wow, what else could I be doing? My friends have houses, better retirements, etc. So for me, I am more inspired these days to diversify and then integrate how and what I do for a living into my definition of what an artist/activist/filmmaker can be or do. To integrate the fullness of who I am into my business.
Ephraim, before we move on to more of these sorts of questions, can you take some time to bring our readers up to speed on you and what you do?
I’m primarily an actor/performer with some experience in filmmaking and producing. I also do some creative writing, such as poetry and storytelling on the side.
As an actor, I describe myself as the following: Friendly, but lethal. A distinctive, charming mischief maker who both provokes and gets away with shit. I’m a classically trained bilingual ,and bi-cultural, Afro-Boricua actor who has performed nationally and internationally on stage, in film, television, voice-over, and commercials. While multi-cam sitcoms are my wheelhouse, I have also been able to develop a deep, dark, dramatic side to my work. Thus, friendly, but lethal.
I am often described as a “trump card” or “that different casting option” due to my unique, unexpected, radiating and physical acting choices and point of view in the world. Not only do I look like all kinds of different cultures and people, but I can represent many in performance. She gives you range!
I recently shot an episode of the #1 drama 9-1-1, dubbed the English voice for a recurring character for a new APPLETV+ series, and the indie film with my biggest role to date, A BROOKLYN LOVE STORY will premiere on APPLETV+ and Amazon this winter.
I’ve studied and continued to study a lot. Not just artistically, but life and history. I come from an artistic/activist family, played four instruments and sang since around 1st grade and eventually focused in on acting as my main creative expression.
I have a BA in Theatre Arts from Penn State and attended The Actors Center(NYC) Conservatory program. My love of performance is very rooted in Leqoq and Gauliet clown work (not circus clown work). I create sketch characters rooted in queer and political points of view. I have played everything from 11 yo kid (as an adult) to old women, to drag queens, to homophobic bros.
What I’m most proud of these days is my consistent repeat business with casting professionals, my callback ratio, and that I have essentially worked equally as much through direct offers, and usually with some big names. I have never before had this many amazing creative industry relationships become fruitful. I have a momentum right now that I am very proud of, thanks to my commitment to staying in it for the long haul, the help of my incredibly supportive husband, my wonderful team of my agent and management company, and lots and lots of personal growth work. It feels so great to be me right now!
Let’s talk about resilience next – do you have a story you can share with us?
Resilience is a muscle. For me it is all about understanding how to work for life goals and harmony in your endeavors while not allowing yourself to get burned out.
When I first moved to LA from NYC, I had made my living as a theater actor for an entire year and was able to claim unemployment benefits and survive while I looked to get things going in LA. I suddenly found that for a number of reasons, I no longer qualified for benefits and was flat out broke. At one point, I walked very far to register myself for food stamps and public assistance. I was able to use my contacts to get grants to help pay my rent, but it was a struggle to find any work, since I had not established my networks yet. I did not have an agent here and my rep from NYC really only got me the rare audition. I had to ask my family for help to survive. Eventually, I lucked out and got a dishwasher job, and then found a catering job, and a couple other side hustles and started to get back on my feet. Once that happened, my father was diagnosed with end-stage liver disease and for the next five years, I would spend a lot of time between Puerto Rico and Atlanta, where he lived and LA to help care for him until his dying breath. I was blessed to find my now husband during those years and together with my siblings was able to make it through this period of my life. It is still the most treasured time and the part of life I am the most proud of, being my father’s caretaker.
All during this time, I had a few auditions, booked a couple student films, small gigs, but surrendered to my love of my father. It allowed to me grow into the person I am today. My father died in a January, and a few months later I booked a role on my own doing a scene opposite William Shatner. Later that year, I was referred to my agent, and booked a TV job. Lesson is, every little motion will still move you forward.
Are there any books, videos or other content that you feel have meaningfully impacted your thinking?
Wow, this is tough. A lot inspires me and my work. Some books and artists that have really resonated and propelled me forward on my particular journey include:
WHAT HAPPENED TO YOU?
SET BOUNDARIES FIND PEACE
THE ARTISTS WAY
THE ALCHEMIST
TURNING PRO,
WAR AGAINST ALL PUERTO RICANS
FANTASY ISLAND
ATOMIC HABITS
LA VITRINA ROTA O QUÉ CARAJO PASO?
THE INTENT TO LIVE
ONE DROP
NINA SIMONE
PEDRO ALBIZU CAMPOS
RAUL JULIA
JUANO HERNANDEZ
AIDS/Lifecycle
My BIPOC queer artist community peers and the lgbtqia+ community
As a general rule, I make it a habit of listening to, reading, and learning from as many Black women as possible
Contact Info:
- Instagram: @ephlopez
- Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/ephraim.lopez.7
