We recently connected with Emmanuel Guarino and have shared our conversation below.

Emmanuel, looking forward to hearing all of your stories today. It’s always helpful to hear about times when someone’s had to take a risk – how did they think through the decision, why did they take the risk, and what ended up happening. We’d love to hear about a risk you’ve taken.

My wife and I had great jobs that paid us well and had us traveling around the country. We were teaching on how to start assisted living homes and it was a lot of fun. We had been working at this company for around 7 years at the time when my father the CEO of the company suddenly passed away.

This came as a complete shock to all of us. He was our hero and our leader and now he was gone. During this time I stepped into the role of CEO for the company. I had to keep a brave face on and it was incredibly difficult. Moving into this new role I was given a great salary, more prestige and recognition but I could hear the Lord telling me and my wife to walk away from all of this and trust in him.

We didn’t know what he wanted from us but we couldn’t shake the feeling that he was calling us to something greater. Soon after hearing this calling we walked away from the company and waited for what the Lord had planned for us. About two weeks later my wife and I were sitting at dinner and at almost the same time we said I know what God wants us to do. We both said in so many words God wants us to help married couples overcome porn use as a team. I was shocked that we both said the same thing and had both felt this calling from the Lord.

When God told me to walk away from the company I was hoping it would be for something like a better opportunity in real estate or insurance or something along those lines. However the message was clear and we followed what he had laid out for us.

During this next season I studied up on everything I could on how to overcome a porn addiction. Soon after that we made a course on how to help married couples overcome this as a team. We are happy to say that we have over 100 students in our program so far after only a few months of getting started and it was one of the best decisions of our lives.

Awesome – so before we get into the rest of our questions, can you briefly introduce yourself to our readers.

I was a top residential assisted living realtor in Arizona, my wife Bekah and I also worked for a educational company that taught on how to run assisted living homes. My wife and I enjoyed a very nice lifestyle with high end vacations and plenty of partying and fun along the way. However in our marriage I had a secret problem that I didn’t want to deal with. I had been hiding a porn addiction for 15 years and 3 of those years were when we were married. On our wedding night I wasn’t able to even have sex because of how bad my porn problem had gotten.

Bekah and I swept this problem under the rug for the next few years but this issue just became worse and worse as time went on. When covid rolled around I remember one night Bekah asking if I wanted to have sex and porn had destroyed my mind so much so that I was upset with her because I had been planning on looking up porn before going to bed instead of having sex with her.

When we got to the bedroom my E.D. had started to rear its ugly head again and eventually I just said Bekah this is all your fault. Your the reason I can’t have sex and I am so upset with you. She started to cry and I stormed out of the room. I remember going into the living room sitting down and praying. I prayed to God that he would help me overcome this. When I did this I could feel the Lord telling me to go to Bekah and ask for help on how to overcome this. I thought in my mind this is the last thing I should do. However the Lord was clear and concise. So I went to Bekah and asked for help. I told her I was sorry and that I could not overcome this on my own.

When I did this I was expecting Bekah to scream and yell at me but instead she gave me a hug and said I love you and I am here for you. Soon after this we started working through this issue and things got a lot better. We realized that your spouse is your ultimate accountabiltliy partner and that addiction dies in the light. However during this time we had a lot of questions like is will power the answer to overcoming this? Or what should I share and not share with her. During this time this addiction had started to die but I still occasionally had the urge to go look up porn.

Flash forward to our next season of life and my father passes away. He was our hero and the CEO of the company we worked for. During this time I was promoted to that position and I remember sitting at my father’s funeral and looking out at all of the people who had come out to support him. I remeber thinking my father ran his race but I thought to myself is this what God had planned for me?

During this time I felt a strong calling on my heart to walk away from this new position. I thought to myself that I would have to be crazy to walk away from the money and prestige of this position. But that calling on my heart would not go away. During this time God did not tell us what he wanted us to do next. He only told us to walk away and trust in him. We realized this calling was not going to go away so we let the company know we would be moving on.

After we did that God did not tell us right away what he wanted us to do. However about two weeks later Bekah and I were having dinner and almost at the same time we both said to each other I know what God wants us to do. “God wants us to help married couples overcome porn use as a team” this was an uncanny moment and it was a exciting moment. However I was incredibly scared at that moment as well. I although was much better and had not looked up hardcore porn for quite sometime was still struggling with the urge to look up porn. In addition to this I was not a doctor or a psychologist. What did I know about helping people overcome this?

A few days later I was working out and all of the sudden it was like a lighting bolt hit me out of the sky. I fell to my knees and I heard the Lord say raise up an army to fight this evil power. The message was again clear and concise. I knew that God was on our side and if he was with us than no one could stand against us. I realized the first thing we needed to do was educate ourselves. So I started reading everything I could on porn addiction, addiction in general and how to help others through this.

During this process the answers to the questions we had revealed themselves to us. We learned the answer to the question why do people look up porn compulsively. In short porn is a pain reliever. We all have pain in life and some people use heroine some use cheeseburgers others use alcohol or weed. However all this does is mask the pain and pushes it down the road. We realized that we were helping people with a pain problem through this process and not a porn problem.

When I learned this I started to examine my own life and realized that I had been holding onto a lot of pain in my childhood that had started to manifest into addictions in different areas. When I finally stood up to these problems and dealt with the pain I no longer had the same urges to look up porn and I started to experience true freedom from this evil.

My life had taken a full 180 and we knew we had to speak out these truths and help others. We learned in our process that so many people around this world were dealing with this issue but no one wanted to speak it out into the light. We realized we needed to stand up and shout out these truths from the rooftops. Bekah and I started a YouTube channel soon after that and started posting videos. One of the first videos we posted was titled how to tell your spouse you have a porn addiction and need help. When we posted it we realized that the production value was very low and that it probably wouldn’t make a huge difference in the world but we made it and posted it anyway. We said if this can help one marriage than it will all have been worth it.

A few months later we received a call form a man on the other side of the country. He said he had just watched our video and had told his wife about his secret porn addiction. He was calling to thank us and told us that he now was speaking up about the dangers of porn to his friends and it was starting to make a difference in their lives too. A few months later it was the one year anniversary of my father’s passing. I received another call from this man and he said that it had been 10 weeks since he had looked up porn and he said if it wasn’t for us making that video his marriage would have headed for divorce almost certainly. We realized that even if our videos weren’t perfect the truth was making a difference in peoples lives.

So we started to make a course on how to overcome this challenge as a team. The course got launched and we got a number of people who were interested in getting started but who couldn’t afford to get the program. We prayed about this and asked for God to give us the answer to this challenge. Soon after this I was on a call with a man named David. David had been struggling with this issue since he was 11 and was now 22 and about to get married. He said he wanted to honor and respect his wife and that he needed help overcoming this. He said there was one problem though. He didn’t have any money for the course. I prayed to God in that moment for wisdom and the Lord said tell him to pay whatever he can and let me take care of the rest. So I told this to David and he invested $40. As I was processing everything for David I asked him more about himself like where he was from and what he did for a living. He told me that he was in the Missouri national guard and that he was at the Army barracks at the moment. I told him would you believe me if I told you that God told me to raise up an army to fight this evil power and how fitting that the first person to get started with the course is named David is in the Army and in the army barracks.

After our experience with David and seeing his success with the course and seeing how it was changing his life positively we made the decision to make the course 100% free. We realized that if we had the medicine for the sick we should not be holding it and waiting for the money first. We should be giving it and letting the Lord take care of the rest. When we did this we saw the Lord start to work in amazing ways. We had people signing up all over the world. From China, India, Romania, England, Canada, Peru and of course the U.S.. We realized that God was working and all we had to do was to keep following him.

We at Team Vulnerable are passionate about helping married couples overcome porn use as a team. We have a goal that by the end of this year we want to have 1,000 couples get our course. If you would like to help us reach this goal we are a 501C3 non profit and if you would like to donate or learn more visit us at teamvulnerable.com

Let’s talk about resilience next – do you have a story you can share with us?

When Bekah and I first started making YouTube videos we thought to ourselves how could someone publicly be against what we are doing. We are promoting true love, connection and intimacy. We thought we would only receive praise for what we were doing. However not only did we receive backlash and hate but even some friends and family were opposed to what we were doing.

Many times when we brought up what we were doing the room would fall silent, no follow up questions were asked and things became quite awkward. A few times we receive open criticism about what we were doing and these moments were very hard.

However what was most hard was when we would post videos online and we would get hate messages about what we were doing. One message that stands out from the rest was when a man told my wife that if she was a better wife than I wouldn’t have had to look at porn in the first place. I remember going back and fourth with this man and thinking how could someone be some awful to my wife.

During these early periods there were moments when we thought we must have been crazy to do this. What were we thinking? However in those times we would pray to the Lord to remind us why we were doing what we were doing. God was faithful and would always give us what we needed in those moments. The key here is to follow the Lord and the steps he has laid out for that day. Bekah and I have no idea where the Lord wants to ultimately take us but we are following no matter where that is.

What’s a lesson you had to unlearn and what’s the backstory?

When I was young I was diagnosed with dyslexia, short term memory and ADD. When I was growing up I was given medicine to make me more like the other kids. This took a toll on my self esteem. Whenever I would achieve something I believed it was only because I was given special help or that the medicine allowed me to do it. The more I accomplished in my life the more my imposter syndrome grew.

When I finally took the time to heal this emotional pain that I had going on inside I was able to let go of this mindset. I realized that not only was I not an imposter it was potentially even more impressive that I was able to achieve what I had given the circumstances.    

Contact Info:

• Website: teamvulnerable.com
• Instagram: https://www.instagram.com
• Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100087310707274
• Linkedin: https://www.linkedin.com/in/emmanuel-guarino-19b182ba/
• Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCctvkhL4du2VJIgIFnhY2uA