We recently connected with Elle Mariah and have shared our conversation below.

Elle, appreciate you joining us today. What did your parents do right and how has that impacted you in your life and career?

My parents are the embodiment of perfection. Just kidding. They’re as human as anyone. But they did do a wonderful job parenting, and they instilled in me a few key things that have made me who I am:

First, they instilled in me a deep love for God. I’ll never forget the day my mom taught a class at church on how to hear God’s voice. I’m very left-brained, and I never felt like I could connect to God the way my right-brained sister and friends did. My sister, an artist, connected with God through painting and creativity. But when my mom taught that class, I realized that the God of the universe wants to talk to me. I learned that prayer is not a one-sided plea with someone in the sky, but rather a conversation between two friends. Learning how to hear God’s voice changed my life. A few years later, my husband’s pornography addiction led to the end of our marriage. As I sobbed on the floor and wondered how my dreams had fallen apart, I realized I had two choices. I could allow myself to become bitter and angry, or I could lean in and ask God the hard questions. As I pressed in and listened to His voice, He led me through the pain and darkness and into more joy than I ever could have imagined.

Second, my parents instilled in me a deep sense of identity. As a child, I knew I was a daughter loved by her father. I knew my dad would fight for me, and he proved his love through his actions over and over again. My dad now runs an anti-trafficking nonprofit called Children’s Rescue Initiative. He had and his teams of operators rescues families and children from brothels and brick factories in developing nations. His willingness to do what no one else would do to rescue people he had never met was a constant example of his love for us.

Finally, my parents shaped who I am through their refusal to give up. As I grew up, I watched my parents fight for what they believed in. They experienced pain and broken relationships, but their love for God never wavered. If anything, adversity was the refining fire in their lives that revealed the goodness of God. When I walked through the season of separation and divorce from my husband, the strength and hope in my parents is one of the reasons I made it through that painful season. Their refusal to give up when life grew hard planted a seed in me that said, “Yes, it’s dark, but keep going. The light is just ahead.”

Awesome – so before we get into the rest of our questions, can you briefly introduce yourself to our readers.

In 2018, I completed my master’s degree in English, and in 2019, my husband and I divorced due to his pornography addiction. As I walked through that painful season, I searched everywhere for a book about my situation. I needed someone to tell me I would be okay. I needed someone to say, “You will make it through this.” But that book didn’t exist. In fact, I couldn’t find any resources for women in my situation.

As I went to counseling and walked through healing, I felt a nudge from God to write about my story – to write the book I needed.

As I began to write, God brought up in my heart the various issues I had struggled with in my relationship – things like setting healthy boundaries, what forgiveness actually means, and my value as a woman who had been replaced by images on a screen. I began to recognize that my greatest desire was to encourage women who felt lost, broken, and alone. During my own divorce, my world crumbled around me. I was in the darkest season of my life, and it felt like it would never end. But God showed up. He filled me with a hope for the future that I couldn’t see at the time, but that He promised would come. My goal now is to share that voice of encouragement for women who are in their own dark season. Because that’s just it – it’s a season. The most painful moments in life, the ones that tear our worlds apart, will pass. Better days will come.

What do you find most rewarding about being a creative?

This question is funny to me, because before the last few years, I never considered myself a creative. I grew up surrounded by creatives – artists, musicians, the works. But as someone who is more left-brained and factual, I didn’t think I fit in.

In college, I majored in English (because I didn’t know what else to do), but I struggled. I couldn’t write a fiction novel to save my life, and therefore, I thought I wasn’t good enough.

One of the most freeing moments was when I realized I enjoyed research. While taking a creative nonfiction class, I wrote a paper where I alternated between a story and facts about the story’s theme. It clicked for me that maybe I did have creativity in me; it just looked different than what I thought.

Looking back now, I can see how God orchestrated those years to develop in me the skills I needed for today. I recently published my book, (Un)Faithful. As I was writing, I remembered that moment in college. My book tells the story of my marriage and divorce due to my husband’s porn addiction, but it also shares research about porn addiction and the brain, forgiveness, boundaries, and the hope to come through healing and recovery.

What I initially viewed as a lack in personal creativity became the foundation for a writing style that can connect with people for this story.

The most rewarding aspect of being a creative is understanding that we are born to create. Whether it’s writing books, or baking bread, or designing a new piece of technology, we were meant to gift the world with beauty.

Too often, we are given talent and creativity, and yet we believe the lies that we’re not good enough, that we don’t have what it takes.

But what if we do? What if we were created exactly for this day and this moment? What if we have everything we need in order to create beauty on this earth? So let’s take the classes, build our skills, and see what we can do.

Have any books or other resources had a big impact on you?

I’m going to pivot this question and share the books and resources that have shaped my healing journey after betrayal trauma:

Hearing God’s Voice:
– How to Hear God’s Voice: An Interactive Learning Experience by Mark Virkler
– The Mercy Culture “Connect With God” assessment (mercyculture.com/encounter-god)
– Truth to Table quiz (truthtotable.com/prophetic-personalities)

Pornography Addiction
– The Porn Myth by Matt Fradd
– Surfing for God by John Michael Cusick
– Wild at Heart by John Eldredge
– Exodus Cry (exoduscry.com)
– Fight the New Drug (fightthenewdrug.org)
– Truth About Porn (truthaboutporn.org)

Betrayal Trauma Recovery
– The Supernatural Power of Forgiveness by Jason Vallotton
– The Gift of Tears by Corey Russell
– Bloom for Women (bloomforwomen.com)
– Live Free Wives (livefreewives.org)
– Healing the Heart Life Center (healingtheheartlifecenter.com)

Contact Info:

• Instagram: @elle_mariah
• Other: My book can be found on Amazon: https://www.amazon.com/Faithful-Discovering-Addiction-Shatters-Marriage/dp/1949562204/ref=sr_1_1

Image Credits
Skillhouse