We caught up with the brilliant and insightful Elizabeth Proctor a few weeks ago and have shared our conversation below.

Elizabeth, appreciate you joining us today. We’d love to hear the backstory behind a risk you’ve taken – whether big or small, walk us through what it was like and how it ultimately turned out.

I grew up legally blind; up until I was around six years old, I started to notice that there was “color”. At the time I didn’t know what to do, I just assumed it was.. normal? Fast forward to middle school (Ah.. the best days) I, could see a little more “color” in my left eye. It was enough that I could make the person out and not have to hold a railing or someone’s shoulder. But.. that’s when the “amazing” migraines began. I had no idea that this would change my life forever. Moving to high school, my vision was still the same b, t my balance had just worsened. I cannot tell you how many times I have face-planted the cement because I couldn’t see the cucircusd it was all like walking on water. I was almost 15 when the headaches started to increase. I couldn’t go to school, social events, or eat. I just.. slept. That’s all I could do at the time. My parent’s didn’t do much, th; there always a lot of “fighting.” Plus I had 3 brothers I had to take care of so,, someone had to step up. Right?

At 18 I ,kew my vision was deteriorating. I had very little money, I got kicked out on the day of my birthday. No car.. Nothing. I had just gotten accepted into a mortuary school and I planned to tell my parent’s about it but no. I never got the chance to. I managed to get an apprenticeship at the funeral home while also going to school. After a year I managed to get my place.

At 19, my vision got even worse. I could hardly see at all where I had to start using my “white cane”. I started to feel very.. lost. While somewhat relaxing on my sofa, I was browsing online and came across this one gentleman. I was very hesitant at first when he wanted to meet for coffee, but something about him just made me not feel like I had to worry.

I wasn’t able to see him at the time, but we instantly clicked. Side by side, he held me close, making sure I wouldn’t trip, (I can be clumsy) Describe the art I couldn’t..see. He was very passionate about music, classical especially. That was one thing we had in common.

From age 20-23, I had multiple procedures done to restore my eyesight. Unfortunately, it just caused more trauma and stress. I was so tired I was on the verge of just giving up. I grew up most of my life not being able to see anything. Maybe it “is what it Is.” But soon after, I had gotten some “good” news. There was a surgery I could undergo that could help but it was a 50-50 chance. Not bad odds, but not good either,

I went home and thought about it. This was a really big risk. If anything went wrong I would most likely be legally blind for the rest of my life. Maybe no more migraines? Part of me wanted to do it, but another part of me was scared. I just remember laying against the wall in the bedroom crying. There was a really bad storm that evening, I remember because the decor on our walls was shaking.

That’s when it hit me. “Oh, my god. I could have a chance to see what my boyfriend looks like.. my brothers.. close colleagues. I was so used to just.. feeling their face. (Weird I know) It was hard. I’d never gone under significant surgery before.

February 21, 2018, at 10:03am.

I couldn’t believe it. It still makes me cry thinking about the second I saw the ceiling. The little pricks on a dark grey wall with a weird solid oval design. I walked out and saw my. now husband. I cried when we got to the car. I couldn’t believe it. Was this real? I have to be dreaming.. there’s just no way.

Everything was just.. there. The trees, I could see them shake side to side with the wind. Instead of feeling it, I could see it! I was so thankful but also scared. How do you do anything with so much around? We went to a history museum a few weeks after recovery.

Best.Day.Ever

It’s been five years and four months, and unfortunately the last sixonths,my vision has started to become. Difficult again. But that won’t stop me from reaching my goals.

A Ikee to say ,” No matter what, It’ll be okay.”

Great, appreciate you sharing that with us. Before we ask you to share more of your insights, can you take a moment to introduce yourself and how you got to where you are today to our readers.

I. When I was 4 years old this elderly woman at a funeral home, came up to me, grabbed my hand and said “do you like dolls?” In a very soft voice. She taught me how to sew a wash cloth together as a “sleeping bag” for my dolls. It was and still is an amazing feeling. I started making my own shirts and dresses when I was 9. I actually won a little certificate in middle school for “Best fashion.”

2. Honestly, anything. I don’t just “specialize” in one thing. I enjoy what I do and that’s helping others find their passion. I love listening to people stories, it’s what inspires me. Throughout the years I started exploring other “hobbies”. Photography, MUA, Model Coach, Painting, Writing, even modeling. If you give me a color, object, word, anything. I can come up with an idea instantly.

3. If you’re feeling.. off and need a little “push” come to me. First time modeling? No problem; what’s your favorite color? What kind of style are you into lately?” You do what makes YOU feel comfortable. Last minute cancellation? That’s okay; I don’t need a reason. I don’t want you to feel pressured. I want you to be able to stand tall, take a deep breath and don’t stress about it. We can work around schedules. Communication is very important.

4. I could care less about the money. I would never charge someone that needs help. The times I have had to do it, I feel guilty. I don’t take advantage of my clients, and I know that sounds a bit rough but we all know there’s a good amount of people that do it. I don’t want anything in return but your kindness. :)

5. I am so proud of what I’ve been able to do. I never imagined myself getting this far. I grew up to just pure.. darkness. Nothing but heaviness and trauma holding me back. All of you have helped me realized that there’s always something new to try. Even with my visual impairtment, I will keep going. I’m always ready for a challenge.

Is there something you think non-creatives will struggle to understand about your journey as a creative? Maybe you can provide some insight – you never know who might benefit from the enlightenment.

Don’t just go straight ahead. If you have a specific goal, reach it but don’t let it consume the rest of your life. I went straight into funeral directing/Embalming. I should have waited; after five years, I knew I needed to change, or I would never be happy. That’s when I started modeling. At first, it was tough; I was overwhelmed and wanted to leave the second I got to the studio. But I forced myself. No joke, I’d say to myself, “It’s okay. I can do this.”

It’s scary learning/trying something new. The anxiety is.. unreal. But don’t let that stop you. You can do anything. And I mean it. Don’t let people push you down; there will always be criticism. Oh well. It’s your business; if you’re happy, keep at it. If not, or you’re getting “bored, ” try something else. Don’t just stick to one thing.

What do you find most rewarding about being a creative?

Emotional growth when it comes to creating art. Do you have an idea? Let’s go!    

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Image Credits
David Hobbs Lilith Jenovax