We were lucky to catch up with Elizabeth “Bitsy” Hamilton recently and have shared our conversation below.

Elizabeth “Bitsy”, appreciate you joining us today. We’d love to hear about the best advice you’ve ever given to a client? (Please note this response is for education/entertainment purposes only and shouldn’t be construed as advice for the reader)

As a divorce coach for men, one of my most common (and best) pieces of advice is to never speak badly of your spouse, except to me. Some of the calls I get can be pretty colorful!

Several years ago, I had a client who went through a divorce at the same time as his best friend. Mark called me often to vent about his ex, but never spoke ill of her to his children, families, friends, or coworkers. His friend, Will, did the opposite. Mark avoided being the topic of the high school football parent gossip; Will was at its center. Mark’s children remained close to him; Will’s became distant. Mark’s family continued to have a good relationship with his ex, sitting as a family at their son’s graduation and celebrating holidays. Will’s parents gave his ex the silent treatment, resulting in his daughter asking that she have separate holidays. Mark retained his friendships in the community and received a great deal of support while Will lost friends and found himself increasingly isolated. Mark has thanked me repeatedly for my advice and for holding him accountable. He’s happier with his life post-divorce, enjoying his relationships, and continuing to see long-term benefits for himself and his children. His friend Will is also a client now, working hard to undo the damage he caused to his relationships with his children and rebuilding his support network.

Speaking ill of your ex achieves nothing positive and only serves to damage relationships. The results of this advice aren’t always seen immediately, they’re more subtle and long-term. With one’s children, you’re badmouthing their other parent and putting a child in a position of being caught in the middle. It creates a a conflict within a child who is trying to love both parents while experiencing tremendous upheaval and loss. Our families and friends want to have our backs, to defend and support us. When a client speaks ill of their spouse, they poison the well. The family members that will still see the spouse at family events struggle to be polite and welcoming to the spouse. Friends pick sides and the social pool becomes a hotbed of conflict that ripples far beyond direct relationships. Do you want to hear yourself gossiped about at the cheer banquet or the local bar? If not, keeping your thoughts between you and your coach is a good idea.

As always, we appreciate you sharing your insights and we’ve got a few more questions for you, but before we get to all of that can you take a minute to introduce yourself and give our readers some of your back background and context?

Elizabeth “Bitsy” Hamilton is a life coach with over 20 years of experience as an advisor, educator, and coach. She has both her BA and MA in Political Science from the University of Mississippi and is certified as a coach through the International Coach Federation with additional training in divorce, academic, and nature-based coaching.

Through a combination of problem solving, exploration, and directed actions, Elizabeth helps people and organizations thrive no matter what challenges get thrown at them. Her clients can expect motivation and accountability informed by empathy and intuition as they move through their challenges and into their productive space. She uses traditional and nature-based coaching practices in her work.

Elizabeth believes that curiosity about ourselves, our purpose, and our goals allow us to nurture creative, compassionate problem solving in ways that traditional discipline and strategy does not.

She builds custom coaching plans and packages for individual clients and organizations to provide the level of support each client needs, rather than utilizing a one-size-fits-all model.

Can you share a story from your journey that illustrates your resilience?

I started my life coaching practice by getting certified in 2014. My initial attempts at starting a business were failures. I hired a business coach to help; it proved to be a disappointing experience and a worse relationship. I struggled immensely with marketing and promoting myself and my work. I changed focus half a dozen times to no avail.

In 2017, I was diagnosed with Multiple Sclerosis, a chronic autoimmune condition affecting the nervous system. My doctor told me that I would lose my ability to speak, to walk, to dance, and to paint; that it was only a matter of time. I kept coaching while I put most of my energy into understanding my diagnosis and finding a path towards healing, but took another job to provide myself with health insurance and stability. That job was stifling to say the least- my boss didn’t even read my resume to know that I was a coach, my creativity was curtailed to nothing, and way too much of my time was consumed by pointless meetings. I stayed through the early part of the pandemic while I dealt with family and health issues, but quit as soon as I felt I could support myself as a coach.

Finding faith in myself to go back out on my own was life-changing. Giving myself the space to do things my way and stop listening to all of the gurus and business coaches and well-meaning individuals has helped me to build a business that I love and am proud of. It’s not always easy and there are days that I don’t love certain tasks, so I remind myself to “embrace the suck” and keep going. I’m creating a world that reflects my hopes and dreams and I get to help others do the same.

What’s been the most effective strategy for growing your clientele?

I run a coaching service that is highly personalized and doesn’t lend itself to mass marketing, so word of mouth and professional referrals have been the best way for me to build my business. I’ve cultivated a network of other professionals that includes therapists, psychiatrists, attorneys, human resources professionals, and corporate consultants to name a few. It’s those contacts as well as current clients that provide the basis for my success.

Contact Info:

• Website: www.eahamilton.com
• Instagram: @coachbitsy
• Linkedin: https://www.linkedin.com/in/elizabeth-anne-hamilton/

Image Credits
Elizabeth Anne Hamilton