We recently connected with EDGAR RAE and have shared our conversation below.

EDGAR, thanks for taking the time to share your stories with us today Can you open up about a risk you’ve taken – what it was like taking that risk, why you took the risk and how it turned out?

I have always enjoyed the challenge….the challenge of what exactly did not really matter – If it was something difficult, frowned upon, or dangerous I was automatically drawn to it as if I had to conquer it to…well, just to know I could conquer it. This has made me a very competitive person, typically in a competition against myself and my own short comings.

February of this year, 2023, after motivation from my wife and friends, I decided to start a YouTube channel of my adventure and outdoor survival trips. I was already pursuing these challenges which I called “misery” trips usually in the dead cold of winter, and thought filming it and showing what it takes to solo camp might appeal to an audience.

The transition of going out and putting myself through hardships, to filming these adventures was an exciting challenge but far more difficult and risky than I could have imagined.

First off, I am not a tech savvy person, I did not even get a smartphone until December of 2022. I began my venture with little to no equipment, no knowledge of film, color theory, placement, storytelling, film editing etc… Yes, I was confident in my skills and abilities to adapt to environments and work through the struggles that naturally arise when you are facing the unknowns and elements of the wild, but not in my ability to capture that on film.

There is an inherent risk in trekking off the beaten path into secluded areas alone. Dangers are ever present in the forms of changing weather, injuries, predators, getting disoriented or lost. But there was a new risk, a new danger that came with this endeavor, and that is the risk of being vulnerable. Suddenly it was not just me out with my Creator in the wild. Now I had this lens looking back at me and demanding information and action. This was new and awkward and frustrating.

I quickly found out how difficult it is to film oneself while trekking and doing survival or solo camp trips in the wild. I have always been a big fan of Les Stroud, also known as Survivorman, and I would watch as he lugged around huge amounts of camera gear, showing himself trekking off in the distance, then returning to pick up the camera and do the same exact hike …over and over again. Well now I had a small taste of this dilemma….the dilemma of getting the perfect shot and trying to show wide vistas and panoramic shots with your form moving off in the distance. A desire to bring the audience with you and have them see the beauty that you are witnessing. Well with that desire comes return trip after return trip to pick up your equipment and retrace your steps. What would normally be a hike through the mountains begins to be a 2 and 3 fold trip. Now add in equipment failure and you are really in for it. Many times I walk back to my camera right after striking a fire from scratch with no lighter, to find that the camera is not recording or my battery is dead. Add in winter elements and issues go up 10 fold.

All of the issues of filming aside, however, it was the ever present eye of the lens looking back at me that made me realize…wait, there are going to be people seeing what I am doing! Not just friends or family or people you have shown your real self to, but strangers, strangers who can be keen to be a keyboard warrior and comment on any and every action you take. Having read comments in YouTube videos I knew that this could be a bleak no man’s land where you are stripped bare and exposed for any and all to give their judgment and opinion of your activities.

This new vulnerability and risk truly came to life when I was ready to publish my first video. I had made a decision. I had completed the challenge of the trip, and had everything ready to go. Knowing this was my first time filming and all that comes with that, and that I have so much more to learn and grow…I thought, am I ready for this, even if only 100 people see this and my channel goes nowhere, or maybe even worse – thousands could see this!

I pressed upload, looked at my wife and said, I feel like I am naked and the whole world can see me. Move down the road, 28 days later, and suddenly a few of my videos had gained traction and were a success, reaching hundreds of thousands of views, which opted me into the YouTube Partner Program, something that I had expected to take at least 1-1.5 years, with extreme diligence. Yes, I received my share of trolling comments, critiques, or just mean people, but the unexpected was the community that was forming. I had an overwhelming positive response from people. Viewers were thanking me for taking them along on the adventure. Elderly people that can no longer get out but who love the outdoors were telling me how much they enjoyed my trip. People were asking me questions about gear and recommendations. I thought, I am just a guy who loves a challenge and enjoys God’s creation, who am I to tell them anything?

The consequences of pursing this “risk”, the risk of not just performing challenging tasks in the wild alone or going to remote areas, but the risk of being vulnerable in front of the lens, has paid dividends. There are so many payouts of this risk which I still don’t know and won’t realize till further down the road through failures and triumphs. Viewers enjoy people being themselves and just being real and truthful. This is what I try to show in a trip, the good and the bad, my triumphs and failures. It has allowed me to joke through mistakes I make while filming and just pretend like my viewers are there with me. The risk of being vulnerable will always be hard but those who you touch through that vulnerability will always outweigh the negatives.

As always, we appreciate you sharing your insights and we’ve got a few more questions for you, but before we get to all of that can you take a minute to introduce yourself and give our readers some of your back background and context?

I grew up spending much of my youth out adventuring with family and friends in the mountains and deserts of Idaho. I have always felt at home surrounded by God’s creation, thick forests, camping out, sleeping under the stars or seeking out some mountain, hilltop or rock to scramble up just to get to the top and take in the view. I love reading survivalist accounts or expedition accounts. Stories about people like Edward Shackleton or Lewis and Clark were choice reads for me. When survivalists hit mainstream television, like Les Stroud as Survivorman, I gobbled up all the content I could and strived to enhance my abilities in adaptation and survival. This all led to an overarching desire for preparedness in general – whether at home, on the road, or out on an adventure. I began to educate myself wherever I could, which led to certifications in Swiftwater Rescue, EMT, Search and Rescue and Tracking.

I moved towards a career as a park ranger and had the opportunity to work for both the National Park Service and State Parks. While employed as a ranger I took part in Search and Rescue operations and emergency medical/trauma calls in remote locations which often required lengthy hike-ins and intense logistics. These experiences solidified preparedness in my life and further enhanced my abilities and desire to continue learning survival and basic bushcraft skills.

After moving on from working as a Park Ranger, I started spending time during the winter season challenging myself with snow camping and winter survival. I received further training while working as a professional ski patroller in the off months from parks, and this also contributed to my knowledge base. During these snow survival trips I set goals to head out in the lowest temperatures when winter was at its prime. This is what led me to starting my Youtube channel, Angry Owl Outdoors.

My channel gives me the opportunity to demonstrate and show what it takes to do solo camping and/or survival tasks. I try to provide a knowledge base through demonstration along with some entertainment to those who are interested in getting outdoors, maybe trying solo camping, or just camping in general. While working as a Ranger, I found that there are many people who just don’t know where to start with camping or bushcraft. With my channel, I can provide a real life demonstration of what works and what does not. I try to be completely transparent and real with my viewers and bring solid content to the community that adds value to their lives. I present gear that I have used and trust and hammered away on, testing their limits. I, just like many others, often go to YouTube seeking out some new gadget or camp item and just want a real review. I feel that with my experiences I can present all of this to old and new viewers while giving them a chance to unplug and enjoy the outdoors. Some people do not have the ability, time, or health to get outside. With my channel I can maybe help by taking folks along for the ride, and give them the opportunity to de-stress from the world around them and see the beauty of Creation.

Can you share a story from your journey that illustrates your resilience?

One of my tripsfor the winter season was to film a winter survival night in deep snow. Being the last trip of the season, temperatures were just beginning to tick up during the daytime, making any approaching storm questionable as to whether it would rain, snow or be a mix of the two. I set out with hopes high and a rough idea of where I wanted to go and an idea of a possible shelter to build.

During this trip I was hauling a pulk, which is a modified type of sled built for hauling gear either on snowshoes or skis. My plan was to use it as a sleep system and show how quickly one can set up an emergency shelter in rough weather. Right at the start of my trip my sled attachment system began breaking apart. While discovering this I also came across a fresh kill site from some type of canine predator, whether wolf or coyote I was not sure…I just knew it was fresh and reeked of urine and scat. The area had been marked soundly with many lines of tracks all around. These two realizations had me immediately questioning whether I could go on or even should go on, especially being out alone in the frozen terrain. Next I found that the river I was going to cross had thawed, and crossing it was no longer possible. I was forced to make do with what was around me, and found what I thought might suffice as a camp option. I decided to press on, although my will was slipping bit by bit.

My campsite for the night was a small hollow on the riverbed where I expanded the already carved out section of an overhang on the lip of the river. Things were looking up – the area had a phenomenal view of the river sweeping through the deep snow, I was nestled in by the dark pines, and a thick storm was fast approaching. I dug away the sand bank, chopping away hanging roots and made a space for my sled and gear. Immediately the wind picked up and the snow started to drop, but quickly turned to rain/snow mix. To counter this I added a small tarp pinned into the riverbank and extended out by tiedowns. The next issue was smashing my hand with the back of the axe while hammering in a spike to the face of the riverbank…needless to say that limited hand movement for the remainder of the trip, but it was getting dark and with the impending storm I had to commit to my plan.

During this whole process I was fighting camera failure, out of focus shots, water intrusion, lens fogging up, or just batteries dying from the ever increasing cold as temperatures dropped. What I thought was going to be a great video for my channel was looking like a flop. My plan by this point was to at least just finish what I had started.

After cutting and processing the trees down to logs that would burn through the night, and having made a roaring “longfire” to keep me warm with the freezing temperatures, I decided to hit the sack. At first I laid back after a hard days work and thought, finally sleep. However, sleep was the one item lacking for the night. Five minutes in I heard what sounded like sand and debris falling on my sleep system….I paid no mind and kept my eyes shut…then splat…right on my eye socket a giant chunk of wet sand and debris fell from the ceiling. This was the start of a long night. My planned shelter was quickly becoming a dripping, falling apart sand castle. The heat from my fire was thawing the underside of the frozen riverbed and all of that debris gently cascaded down all night long, falling in my face, hair, ears, and all over my gear as a constant reminder that, as the knight in Indiana Jones and the Final Crusade tells the villain, “You have chosen…poorly,” for my shelter! After a night of being peppered by the Sand Fairies, I gathered up my gear in the pitch black morning at around 5AM and hiked out.

All in all my lesson was learned and I still shared it with my viewers, I posted it and thought…well this is a flop…not great footage and a failure at what you’re supposed to do for a survival shelter. Was it a flop? No. This is the one video that launched me into being monetized on YouTube and expanded my community of subscribers. I had no idea it would do so well and resonate with so many people. Maybe it was watching somebody in misery, or more importantly maybe it was watching somebody be real and not just the “golden” Instagram shots. Had I given up and hiked back out, there is no telling where I would be in my journey. One never sees the fruit of resilience in the moment, you only see pain and discomfort, but taking one step forward and steeling your mind to your commitment produces a harvest that only time will reveal.

Are there any books, videos or other content that you feel have meaningfully impacted your thinking?

My pursuit of adventure and difficult tasks, the desire to defeat and conquer my weaknesses, the pull to be in the outdoors, and my philosophy and worldview can be credited to a few amazing books. Each book has its own allure and lessons to give each in a very independent and different way. First and foremost my life, joy, passions, and philosophy stem from The Word of God…the Bible. I try to share my faith and my love for my savior in what I accomplish and also in my failures. The Bible is what accompanies me on my outings, tucked away in a small pocket ready to be flipped open to an encouraging Psalm, gospel, or story of adventure and hardship in the Old Testament. This book first and foremost has made me who I am.

Next to that, comes historical adventure accounts – stories of the great adventures during the age of expansion and discovery. For example, “Endurance” by Alfred Lansing, recounting the harrowing and amazing true story of Edward Shackleton and his crew, trapped in Antarctic waters and ice, surviving shipwreck and traveling in the frozen wasteland with incredible fortitude and bravery. This book shows what true resilience and leadership is.

“Undaunted Courage” by Stephen Ambrose, puts together the Lewis and Clark journals in an adventure filled punch to your stomach. It lays out the story of this group of adventurers embarking upon a journey of mystery, discovery and hardship. As the Lewis and Clark trail passes near my hometown, I often imagine what it would be like to be part of that party. When I pursue my outdoor adventures, I think part of me is like a child playing make believe…pretending that I am there as part of the Corp of Discovery setting up camp for the night.

I would be remiss if I did not include the classics of Jack London’s, “The Call of The Wild” or “White Fang” or the lesser known “To Build a Fire”. These stories fuel me in a romanticized view of winter camping and exploration. Jack London could paint a scene of beauty and terror in the same sentence. I think his writings allow me to see more clearly the beauty of the wild but also the danger that lurks there for the unprepared.

These and many others have shaped through true story and fiction the beauty and allure of the wild along with how one should act when in them and who put them there for our enjoyment!  

Contact Info:

• Instagram: @angryowloutdoors
• Facebook: Angry Owl Outdoors
• Youtube: Angry Owl Outdoors