Alright – so today we’ve got the honor of introducing you to Ebony Tucker. We think you’ll enjoy our conversation, we’ve shared it below.
Ebony, thanks for taking the time to share your stories with us today It’s always helpful to hear about times when someone’s had to take a risk – how did they think through the decision, why did they take the risk, and what ended up happening. We’d love to hear about a risk you’ve taken.
For as long as I could remember, I imagined what my life would look like when I became a mother. I’d tell my childhood friends that I wanted to have a son, and his name would be Malik JamaaI. Spelled that exact way. But I needed to find a husband first lol!
Fast forward to my senior year of high school. I ended up meeting and falling in love with the man who would later become my husband. And his name happened to be Jamaal. Spelled the exact way I wanted my baby’s name to be spelled! In my mind, this had to be a sign from God. And it was — just not in the way I expected.
After high school, Jamaal and I broke up for a while, only to get back together a few years later. Once back together, I made a vow not to intentionally try for a baby until we were married and relocated from Las Vegas to Houston. Well, marriage and relocation took us about 7-8 years, but we did it!
Immediately after arriving at our new home in Texas, we began actively trying to conceive. At first, we weren’t too worried because, honestly, what could be wrong? Things like infertility don’t happen to people like us. We’re young and vibrant! Surely we’d be pregnant in no time, right? Wrong. To our surprise, no matter what we did — no luck.
After about 3 years of tracking my ovulation and timing intercourse, we decided to go see a few doctors. Ultrasounds, medications, semen analyses, needles, tests, etc. and we still didn’t have even as much as a scare. We knew…something was terribly wrong. And that thing had a name. Unexplained Infertility.
After so many years of being together and trying tirelessly to expand our family, we grew very tired of people inquiring about “when a baby was coming.” So one day I went to my husband and told him I wanted to speak publicly about our struggles. I was ready to take that risk!
The risk of judgement. The risk of public humiliation and bullying. Even the risk of being pitied. I was ready…but he wasn’t so sure. After much convincing, he agreed, and I went for it. I spoke about everything. The sleepless nights, the anger, the tears, how intercourse started to feel like a chore — rather than a way to connect and express our love. Even how our faith was negatively affected. I spoke about it all, while knowing the risks.
But I’ve come to realize, taking that risk of exposing our most difficult moments, helped so many men and women to realize they are not alone. It really humanized us to a lot of people who assumed we had it all. And I don’t regret it one bit. Not one bit.
Ebony, love having you share your insights with us. Before we ask you more questions, maybe you can take a moment to introduce yourself to our readers who might have missed our earlier conversations?
A little bit about me and how I got into the business of content creating and influencing.
In my own opinion, I’ve always been the type to ride my own wave. I was never the one to sway with the wind, if you will. And as far as I can remember, my peers would tell me that is one of the things they love the most about me. My ability to remain true to who and who’s I am, regardless of what is going on in the world around me. With that said, I have always loved to pick the brains of other people. Having conversations on a deeper level and truly attempting to understand why people are they way they are. Connecting with others in a way that make them feel seen.
In an attempt to do so, I started documenting my experience at a job that I absolutely hated a few years ago, via Snapchat. I found that it helped me get my frustrations out, while showing people that I too am human. That turned into an entire series that people would watch faithfully, until I was blessed with a better opportunity. I documented that journey as well. That’s kind of when I noticed people enjoyed keeping up with me and what I was doing in my everyday life. Also, that I enjoyed keeping them in the loop, because meaningful conversations were developing from my shared experiences.
In 2017, I created a secret Facebook group called The Kousins Klubhouse. This group was solely based on providing a safe space for people to discuss ‘all things life’ with the absence of judgement. It was a hit! From that group, life-long friendships, relationships and even marriages were born. The group ended when Covid-19 arrived, but the impact still lingers. I am most proud of that!
Any insights you can share with us about how you built up your social media presence?
Honestly, as uninteresting as it sounds, I built my audience organically by literally being myself and being consistent.
As of today, I have about 248,000 followers on Tiktok. Everyday, from the beginning of the pandemic, I showed up consistently and I made sure I engaged with my audience. I was and still am always in my comments responding to my audience. This goes for Instagram, Facebook and YouTube (when I’m over there) alike lol! A lot of people look at social media as a distraction or they say they don’t take it serious — I DO. In my mind, it takes a lot for someone to decide they want to follow you. So when they do, and they engage, I feel it is my duty, as the creator, to acknowledge and be grateful for them. Because you’re only as good as your support system. Everyone wants to be and feel seen. And I believe they should be.
As for advice for those just starting to build — see people. Be relatable. Remain true to who you are and your tribe will come. Also, simplify as much as possible. Figure out what your content pillars are. That way, when people see your social media handle, they know exactly what they’re going to get. For example, seeing the Dove brand, everyone knows they’re getting some sort of content about soap. It should be the same with your audience. And yes, it is ok to switch it up here and there, but the lesson, message and inspo should always land on one of your pillars. By the way, mine are Love • Locs • Lifestyle.
What do you think is the goal or mission that drives your creative journey?
As I stated above, my content pillars are • Love • Locs • Lifestyle. The goal or mission is to inspire and encourage women through those three things. This is how:
Love • My husband and I will celebrate our 10 year wedding anniversary in November of this year. And although we’ve been together longer than that (17 years total), my goal is to be the proof that healthy, Black love exists. Not only within our generation, but overall. So many people, including myself, didn’t have many examples of healthy relationships growing up. So I am hoping to inspire and encourage people to see the good in marriage from a millennial couple’s standpoint.
Locs • As we all know, the unhealthy conversations and judgement of Black hair, is a very heavy weight that we as Black people have had to carry. Before I started my loc journey, I was terrified of the judgement that would be bestowed upon me once I actually loc’d. Because it was already hard enough trying to get the world to accept the way my hair grew out of my scalp naturally. But once I fully accepted the fact that societies view of me was not MY view of me, there was no holding back! And I vowed to be what every person who looks like me needed through my loc journey. Teaching them that their beauty does not begin and end where society says it does. That natural hair or locs are just as beautiful as processed or straight hair.
Lifestyle • Sometimes being placed on a pedestal comes with having a large following. I often ask my audience not to put me on that pedestal. Because I am human, just like them. I make mistakes, I act on emotion, I do it all because life be life’ing! Being relatable and showing that influence can come from anyone, not just celebrities, is my goal when sharing my lifestyle content. Sharing the good times and allowing people access to the behind the scenes footage from a time when things weren’t so good. This way, they are coming along the journey with me and can gain inspiration from my achievements, as well as my failures — because I think it’s important to show both.
Contact Info:
- Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/ehhbee/?mid=7215635360055084037®ion=us&ui_language=en&language=en
- Twitter: https://twitter.com/_ehhbee_?language=en®ion=us&mid=7215635360055084037&ui_language=en
- Youtube: https://youtube.com/@thetuckerway
- Other: https://www.tiktok.com/@ehhbee?ui_language=en®ion=us&mid=7215635360055084037&language=en https://www.amazon.com/shop/influencer-e209b98e?ref_=cm_sw_r_apin_aipsfshop_aipsfinfluencer-e209b98e_6JJDXZGJWXG6TCY44TQV