We were lucky to catch up with Ebonee Danielle recently and have shared our conversation below.
Ebonee, appreciate you joining us today. Are you happier as a business owner? Do you sometimes think about what it would be like to just have a regular job?
Whew, this question right here is a doozy. I believe in transparency so here goes. My happiness as a business owner tends to depend on the day. I honestly wake up some days and say to myself, “what have you done?” Then there are days that I wake up and I say to myself, “I am running away from everything.” But then I have the days that overshadow those days. Those are the good days. Yes, I often think about going back to work where there is a steady flow of funds and regular hours and I can clock out. However, I then start thinking about all those ridiculous unnecessary meetings that I had to be in, or the inefficiencies that I could do nothing about, or the horrible unethical employers that I have worked for before, or the pay that I deserved that I never received and, suddenly, I don’t miss working for other people at all. I have seen entrepreneurship glamorized in a way that attempts to make people who have regular jobs feel less than on social media. What they fail to show a lot of times are the long hours, lack of sleep, lack of funds, lack of customers, and stress. There is no shame in either path! Everyone is not made to be a business owner just like everyone is not made to work for others. I am not made to work for others. Yes, being a business owner can be stressful and often times seems impossible; but I would not trade it for a regular job again. I am happy that I had whatever I had within myself to step out on this faith to pursue this passion. All of my days are not happy ones, but I am happy overall that I made this decision and I am learning more and more about myself! Other than being a parent, this is by far the hardest thing that I have ever done; but it is also extremely rewarding, especially when I can say “I DID THAT”! I am anxious to see where this road leads me to.
Awesome – so before we get into the rest of our questions, can you briefly introduce yourself to our readers.
As a person who has suffered with confidence and self-image issues in the past, I truly understand how debilitating that can be. I have made it my mission to help others ignore the beauty and body standards that have been placed on us by society and other people’s judgment and insecurities. Hi, my name is Ebony Williams also known as “The Confidence Queen” also known as “The Puff Mistress.” Growing up, I had a flamboyant and loud personality that masked the insecurity that I really felt every day. I hit my growth spurt early so I was taller than most, goofy and thought that I was ugly. That was my childhood and if I’m being honest, my early adulthood too. I wore a mask. I think a lot of people do. I created Puff Mistress Mentionables to help people remove their masks and live their most authentic lives based on their OWN beauty standards. In 2014, after several years of hospitalizations and multiple provider visits, I was diagnosed with Lupus. With this new diagnosis, my morale shifted to a point where not only my body changed but also way of thinking. I gained 80 pounds after taking prescribed steroids for my sickness and felt defeated. Two years later, I decided that I no longer wanted to live that way. I insisted on not allowing this to negatively impact my life, I looked to find new outlets that would positively affect my outlook. I drastically changed my diet and exercised almost daily. I ended up saving my life! I lost 70 pounds and was healthier than before my diagnosis. Although I was healthier, I felt like my body never recovered aesthetically. I didn’t like what I saw when I looked in the mirror. I started buying lingerie for myself, wearing it in the mirror and saying daily affirmations. Every day I started to see myself in a positive light until one day, all I saw was beauty staring back and that’s all I have seen since. My distinct routine encouraged a new set of beliefs that inspired me to create my own company.
In 2020 I launched Puff Mistress Mentionables, LLC, a size-inclusive brand that uses lingerie as a vehicle to help people feel good about themselves, offering quality, hand-picked pieces at very affordable prices. Puff Mistress Mentionables, LLC, is more than a lingerie store, it’s a brand whose main purpose is to equip their clients with the tools necessary to help them improve their overall self- image. We are loud and proud about body positivity! I feel that low confidence can lead to not advocating for yourself in multiple areas of your life including work, family, friends, etc. Increasing your confidence level can lead to increased happiness and a more peaceful life. I truly believe that confidence is the sexiest and most beautiful thing that a person can wear. I am very passionate about people loving the skin they are in enough to ignore others’ opinions and judgment. I am focused on working closely with everyday people to reprogram their thinking when it comes to their self-confidence by hosting confidence workshops, fashion show workshops and consultations. The thing that I am most proud of currently is “The Bawdy Positive Lingerie Show” which is a workshop that I created to celebrate all body types and sizes.. People who have confidence issues sign up to go through a workshop that ultimately ends in a fashion show. We have “rehearsals” every week that aids in boosting their confidence. After the last rehearsal, the models participate in sort of a graduation which is actually a themed fashion show where audience members purchase tickets and dress to the theme to attend. I love watching the participants’ journey through the process. I love watching their confidence level increase. The show is becoming a staple in Jacksonville, FL and I am so proud of its growth. The same daily affirmations and exercises I used to help myself, I implore to help others. Most of my customers come to me having never worn nor purchased lingerie before, but they are wanting to take steps towards their most confident selves. In a nut shell, lingerie helped me, so I use it to help others.
Can you tell us about what’s worked well for you in terms of growing your clientele?
My personal and professional values are aligned. I have one value that stands true for both and I live by it every day. I treat people/customers the way that I wanted to be treated. It’s that simple. It’s effective and it works. I feel like my integrity and my genuine desire to help people comes across with every post, every interaction, and every event that I do. I think that people can tell that I mean what I say and that I wholeheartedly want to help. I feel like it’s a duty! I know lingerie doesn’t scream “helping people” but somehow it does! Social media can be the best thing for your business but it can also be the worst. I find that for me, as long as I am consistently being who I am, and holding true to that value, my audience/clientele grows. People walk up to me in public that I have never met before wanting to give me hugs. It was strange at first, but I realized that I was connecting with people on a personal level without even knowing it. So now it’s just normal practice. No matter what others do or say, I always cling to my integrity and never change it. I treat people with kindness, I don’t post anything negative online or speak to people with negativity, and I TREAT OTHERS THE WAY I WANT TO BE TREATED, ALWAYS! That’s how I have grown my clientele and how I will continue to grow it.
We often hear about learning lessons – but just as important is unlearning lessons. Have you ever had to unlearn a lesson?
I am going to be real transparent with this one; perfectionism is the lesson that I am STILL unlearning. I am super hard on myself and it has sometimes halted me from forward movement. I have a huge issue with it. I give others more humanity than I give to myself. Of course there is no such thing as perfection; but somehow, I manage to hold myself to it. I wish I could assign a particular backstory that can tell you why I am this way. It would definitely make my therapist’s job easier, lol . I will say that being a business owner is what really drew it to the forefront enough to make me address it. You cannot succeed in business trying to do everything perfectly! Nothing will get done, especially if there are decisions that just have to be made. That is difficult for me. I obsess about everything being right and perfect and it can leave me stagnant at times. I am working on being kinder to myself and it is often a challenge and it shouldn’t be. I am learning to stop punishing myself for being human and giving myself accolades for achievements, no matter how small.
Contact Info:
- Website: www.puffmistress.com
- Instagram: www.instagram.com/puffmistress
- Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/puffmistress
- Linkedin: https://www.linkedin.com/in/thepuffmistress/
- Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC8tP7nZfW5YdrsQvF-Ip59A
Image Credits
Will Shoots of Eriden Images