We were lucky to catch up with Duquesa D Dean recently and have shared our conversation below.

Duquesa, appreciate you joining us today. Often outsiders look at a successful business and think it became a success overnight. Even media and especially movies love to gloss over nitty, gritty details that went into that middle phase of your business – after you started but before you got to where you are today. In our experience, overnight success is usually the result of years of hard work laying the foundation for success, but unfortunately, it’s exactly this part of the story that most of the media ignores. Can you talk to us about your scaling up story – what are some of the nitty, gritty details folks should know about?

We have more power than we give ourselves credit for. In many instances, we give our power up because we worry about our career progression, our families, and even our friends. We struggle with the “shoulds” of society, peers, and friends and put our dreams on the back burner.

We even question our purpose in life. Many of us feel like we have something bigger to achieve and we struggle with the inner turmoil of what we want versus what they want.

We have to make the decision to thrive. I’ve been there. I know exactly what it feels like to stay on a “safe” job because someone feared that if I stepped out on my own I wouldn’t make it.

My mom loved me so much. Sometimes her love was so great it became overprotective.

It’s awesome to have been loved so deeply and sometimes, because of that love, I didn’t want to hurt her by doing the things I really wanted to do because of her fears about them. I guess you could call me a mom-pleaser.

But, there I was, dying (figuratively and literally) on a corporate job that stifled me. I loved some components of the work I did, but, the passion I had started the job with was dead.

My creativity was stifled, the culture was bad and stringent rules limited how well I could actually perform my job.

I remember one day, sitting at my desk, daydreaming about what I really wanted to be and do. I could see myself facilitating workshops and holding retreats. I visualized myself, coaching and supporting women. My then-boss walked by and commented on the happy look on my face. She was so glad to see it.

It was at that exact moment that I realized I could never be happy if I felt stuck between a rock (my mom’s fears) and a hard place (my job).

So I decided to take a chance on myself. I quit corporate and after that I worked with top businesses and top tier leaders and general employees, doing exactly what I loved to do; helping to build work cultures that employees would be happy in, guiding leaders on how to connect and drive team performance as well as helping organizations lift their customer service levels.

As a result of this, I felt alive, and vibrant, like I was making a difference, my life actually had meaning in comparison to flat, stifled creativity. None of this would have been possible if I hadn’t made that one small decision to commit.

We are been taught from childhood to be selfless, to honor and serve others, and to not be selfish. Personally, I believe, we took this lesson way too far and have gone to the extreme end of the spectrum by always putting the needs and feelings of others before ours, sometimes to our detriment.

You’ve probably spent most of your life making everyone else happy. Your needs have been an afterthought and that has resulted in two things. One, you don’t really know who you are anyone because you’ve given so many pieces of yourself away or two you have no idea of how to put yourself back together. How do you move forward when you aren’t even sure of who you are anymore?

The reality is, there is no crystal ball that can show you the future but you can CREATE the future you really want. It requires you to make a choice.

Scaling your business takes creating LARGE goals that take 10, 15, or even 20 years to achieve. After that vision is established, action is required. Taking small steps daily to achieve those goals. It takes failing and falling then getting back up with the lessons that will help make the next steps more efficient and accurate.

One of my biggest mistakes was thinking that the success I desire would come quickly. After failing a few times, I aligned with a business mentor who helped me to understand that becoming successful is a process and it takes time. There really is no overnight success.

As always, we appreciate you sharing your insights and we’ve got a few more questions for you, but before we get to all of that can you take a minute to introduce yourself and give our readers some of your back background and context?

I help women evolve into the women they were born to be and step into the life they’ve always dreamed of.

I am a Certified Public Speaker, Published Author, and Mother of two Bahamas Beach lover who coaches & trains employees in the corporate world and provides Professional Development and Personal Develop Coaching.

I’ve worked with women from the USA, Caribbean, United Kingdom, France, and more. I’m truly passionate about this work because as a teen and even in my adult life, I often felt inept and longed for the support of other women to help me grow and develop my talent.

I’ve worked with leading businesses in the Bahamas such as The Central Bank of the Bahamas, Bahamar, Deltec Bank & Trust, BAF Financial, Going Places Travel, The Bahamas Development Bank, Nassau Airport Development Company, Colina General Insurance and so many more.

Life is pretty good now but it wasn’t always picture-perfect or easy. I’ve transformed my life rising from the burnt ashes of:

1. Troubled Teen Years
2. Domestic Violence
3. Purposeless jobs
4. Near Suicide Attempt

Now, using the experiences of my past, I help women evolve into the women they were created to be. I know firsthand how it feels to be obligated to the rules of family, society, and friends all while feeling unfulfilled.

My passion to free them from the shackles of the past and from the “what will other people think” syndrome led me to become certified in coaching women.

As a result of challenges during my teenage years, I birth a non-profit organization Transition Mentorship Program for children and teens ages 8 to 18 to help them build self-esteem, personal character, leadership skills as well as social skills. The children, teens, and young adults love these programs which help to strengthen their skills and lead them to become more skilled and confident in life.

I am also president of a women’s cancer support group, building on the legacy left by my mother who started the group prior to her death in 2017. The Gennie Dean Caring and Sharing Cancer Support Group supports women cancer patients, survivors, and caretakers navigate the journey with cancer. I believe in and advocate for early detection and prevention.

I’ve also created a movement, The Evolving Woman, which helps women identify and build on #ThePowerOfHer. The Evolving Woman Safe Space TV is a part of this movement. This web-based TV show inspires and motivates women to #elevate their lives. I produce The Evolving Woman Magazine which is another medium by which women inspire other women by sharing their experiences, their success stories as well as how they overcame challenging situations. Women need to know that they are not alone and many of the experiences they have are not isolated to them alone.

Who would have thought that the broken experiences of my life, would allow me the opportunity to help other women emerge from the darkness of their past much like a butterfly does from its cocoon – transformed into a beautiful light!

What sets me apart from others in my industry is my vulnerability while coaching. My clients hear real life experiences and a connection of bond is formed which allows for a much deeper level of coaching.

I am most proud of the fact that my broken experiences were the foundation on which I built the life I live today. I chose to not sit in victimhood but to instead create the reality I wanted.

I am also the author of The Evolving Woman – Start Living, Quit Apologizing, Sister Stand Up Again, and Chase Your Dreams.

Can you share a story from your journey that illustrates your resilience?

The past few months have caused us all to face major life transitions. We have proven to ourselves that we have the strength to move forward, navigate changes, and remain flexible as we navigate uncertain times.

This, proves to us, that inside of us is the courage to take action, even in uncertain times. We have the strength to move forward. Now, what if we could switch from moving forward from just surviving to moving forward in a way that we can thrive?

I’ve been there. At a place of just barely surviving. I’ve experienced what it feels like to live a life so routine and unfulfilled that I thought living was not worth it. After I decided, living was not worth the effort, I took action towards making my wish of being dead a reality. Have you been there? Have you been to a place where you felt like there was no hope and nothing to look forward to? I still can’t believe I considered suicide as a way out but I did.

As a result of making so many poor decisions while I was trying to survive, I faced experienced heartbreaks time and time again. As a matter of fact, because I had not made the decision to thrive in life, I actually, by default had decided that any job was a “good” job as long as there was enough money to pay the bills. How wrong was this thinking? A big part of my disappointment in life was due to working at jobs that robbed me of my peace, and my happiness, and that sucked the little life I had in me, right out of me.

We often give our power up knowingly or unknowingly, to make others happy, to avoid conflict or it could even be because we want to be loved and accepted by others. We give our power up for many reasons.

So there I was, sitting on my bathroom floor some 25 years ago, having a huge mental battle about whether or not I would take my life. As the mental battle waged, I walked out of the bathroom along the long corridor that led to the kitchen, opened the white refrigerator, and took out the full bottle of orange juice I had just purchased that morning. After retrieving the bottle of juice, I closed the refrigerator and walked back down the long corridor back into the bathroom.

As I entered the bathroom, I stood, looking in the mirror that was the face of the medicine cabinet. I could see the beads of sweat resting on my forehead. It was a pretty humid day, but I also recognized those beads of sweat as signs of my heated internal battle.

I opened the cabinet, took out a white bottle of tablets, closed the cabinet, and glanced at myself in the mirror again. Staring back at me was a woman who had allowed the pressure of society and family to keep her from pursuing the dreams she held in her heart. I shook my head at myself as I acknowledge how disappointed I was in myself.

I then sat on the bathroom floor, in front of the toilet. Imagine that. I sat in front of the glistening white toilet and thought how ironic is this? I felt like my life was a waste and there I was sitting in front of something that captures and discards waste contemplating taking my life.

At that point in my life, I had no idea, I owned the power to change the trajectory of my life. I felt powerless, and unappreciated, and thought that my life had no value.

As I opened the bottle of tablets, a glare from the ceiling prompted me to look up. As I glanced up into the recessed lighting in my bathroom, I saw the rays streaming down from the light fixtures. The rays took me back to my childhood days when we would watch movies as a family. I remembered the scenes in those movies, where after a storm, the gray clouds would start to open and the sunlight would beam through them. Those were movies based on the Bible and so often, as the clouds parted and the rays beam through, the voice of the Highest Being would be heard speaking a message of hope to His people.

At that moment, I was reminded of my childhood days of riding the big yellow church bus, singing the song, I am a Promise. I smiled. At that exact moment, my memories of childhood Sunday School days started flooding my mind and I remembered a lesson I was taught. That all things would work for my good and that the plans for my life were to prosper, to have hope and a bright future.

I was filled with hope. I made the courageous decision not to take my life but to instead take control of my life. It was time for me to evolve! It was time for me to learn how to take my power back, and how to become whole physically, mentally, emotionally, and spiritually.

I had no idea how I would achieve this but what I did know was going back to the life that I had was not an option. I wanted to be a better mom. I wanted to help to develop strong, confident and courageous children; a broken mother would be limited in how she did this. I wanted more than anything for my children to have bigger brighter futures and that meant that I had to make better, wiser, and more intentional decisions about my life and about my future.

Sitting on that floor, I made perhaps the most courageous decision of my life. The decision to live but to live a more fulfilled and authentic life. Today, I use those broken experiences to help others navigate the darkness believing that they can make different choices to change the trajectory of their lives. My clients are often shocked when I share so vulnerably. However, my life’s purpose is now, to be a guiding light.

As a result of all that I healed from. I actually get to thrive in a career I chose. I get to keep my family as my highest priority. I get to set my own work hours. I get to travel the world to share and to teach. I get to live the life of my dreams. In order to do this though, I had to choose to heal me. I had to choose personal and professional development. I had to choose to be mentored. I had to choose to stay in growth even when it was painful.

I had to choose this life.

Any advice for managing a team?

We have to:

a. Live Our Message – People do what they see
b. Know Our Audience – invest time with your team leaders and members
c. Go to where they are – stop saying they need to come up to our level. They can’t get there without being mentored to do so.
d. Focus on them – help them develop in the area of their strengths. Serve them.
e. Believe in them – People want to be seen, heard, and valued. Even if they make mistakes, help them find the lessons and encourage them to move forward with them.

Contact Info:

• Website: https://duquesadean.com/
• Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/duquesadean/
• Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/duquesaddean/
• Linkedin: https://www.linkedin.com/in/duquesadean/
• Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCFlFVIOYekGHxYmEg-soOAg