We’re excited to introduce you to the always interesting and insightful Dr. RJ Verwayne. We hope you’ll enjoy our conversation with Dr. RJ below.

Alright, Dr. RJ thanks for taking the time to share your stories and insights with us today. What’s the best advice you ever gave to a client? How did they benefit / what was the result? (Please note this response is for education/entertainment purposes only and shouldn’t be construed as advice for the reader)

When I first started private practice in 2011, my primary clients were children and teens. After a while though, I noticed a trend. Whenever there was a child with anxiety, there was a parent with an even higher level of anxiety. Most of my clients were brought in by their mother and slowly but surely, I started to focus on women who struggled with anxiety and depression. I discovered that so many amazing and accomplished women were suffering silently so much so that they met the clinical criteria for anxiety, depression or both. One common factor was that they put everything and everyone else first and so session after session, I told my clients, “self-care isn’t selfish, you can’t serve from an empty vessel”. And from there, the healing journey began.

Great, appreciate you sharing that with us. Before we ask you to share more of your insights, can you take a moment to introduce yourself and how you got to where you are today to our readers?

I am Dr. RJ a licensed clinical psychologist and executive coach and CEO of Ask Dr. RJ. I help high performing executives eliminate stress, anxiety, and burnout so that they can unapologetically enjoy the life they worked so hard for, with balance and ease. I am most proud of my clients’ outcomes. After just 8 weeks, they report a significant reduction in stress and anxiety and they learn how to manage the unavoidable stressful situations. The great news is that I am actively involved in the process guiding my clients to success. I don’t expect already super busy execs to add tasks to their never-ending to-do lists. I provide succinct, practical and hands on guidance. I absolutely love Mondays (the start of my work week) because I get to wake up and change lives. It’s such an honor to watch my clients transform and begin to live their lives freely without the emotional heaviness of burnout.

Learning and unlearning are both critical parts of growth – can you share a story of a time when you had to unlearn a lesson?

As a child, I was incredibly gifted and I learned early on that adults liked “smart kids who were good”. After years and years of being the smart good kid, any time I fell outside of those expectations, especially academically, it was devastating. And that’s how I learned to be a perfectionist. It was quite an exhausting lesson that followed me into adulthood. But about 11 years ago, that all changed. I gave birth to my second child, and just his presence alone made me get comfortable with mistakes. I didn’t know what to do with this headstrong, rambunctious, brilliant child and it showed. I fumbled more than I ever had in life and at some point the lightbulb switched on. Perfectionism was a myth and I am perfectly imperfect. Now don’t get me wrong, I am still a high performing healthy striver. But my goals are more about pushing myself towards greatness and much less about what others might think. It was a life changing lesson.

Putting training and knowledge aside, what else do you think really matters in terms of succeeding in your field?

Outside of training and knowledge, it is imperative for psychologists to be emotionally, spiritually, and physically healthy. The science of human behavior can be taught, but the art of being totally present and connected without being pulled in personally is an art developed over time. Experience is an amazing teacher. In addition to experience, those in my field of behavioral health coaching and consulting MUST be sure that they are not asking clients to do hard things when they themselves aren’t constantly doing the inner work as well. Being able to understand the complex feelings of angst, disappointment, and defeat as well as joy, peace, and elation requires experience and ongoing self-work. Clients can tell the difference between those who have the “art” and those who don’t. Trust me.

Contact Info:

• Website: www.askdrrj.com
• Instagram: @askdrrj
• Facebook: @AskDrRJ
• Linkedin: https://www.linkedin.com/in/drrjverwayne/
• Youtube: Ask Doctor RJ

Image Credits
rhyana c photography stovetop visuals