Alright – so today we’ve got the honor of introducing you to Dr. Rachael Meir. We think you’ll enjoy our conversation, we’ve shared it below.

Alright, Dr. Rachael thanks for taking the time to share your stories and insights with us today. If you had a defining moment that you feel really changed the trajectory of your career, we’d love to hear the story and details.

As a clinically trained psychologist with almost two decades of experience practicing in a variety of settings, I have gained a deep understanding of human behavior and the complexities of interpersonal relationships. However, it was a combination of my own personal experience and a profound realization that set me on a new path. Having explored the swinging lifestyle for a number of years and then transitioning from a heternormative monogamous relationship to a polyamorous triad, I experienced the transformative power of ethical non-monogamy (ENM) in my own life. This exploration was an eye-opening journey, as I navigated the intricacies and challenges of maintaining multiple, honest, and consensual relationships. I was inspired by the potential for personal growth, deeper connections, and the liberation from traditional relationship norms.

Through this process, and in combination with the work I was doing in my own private practice, I recognized a significant gap in the field of psychology and relationship counseling. There was a lack of specialized support for individuals and couples seeking guidance on ethical non-monogamy. I saw the need for a dedicated approach – more than just an open-minded and affirming support person – that could actually help people learn the skills to navigate ENM successfully.

This realization led to my decision to transition into the relationship coaching space, with a specific focus on ethical non-monogamy and nontraditional relationship structures. I undertook additional training and certifications in the field to ensure that I could provide the best support possible for my clients. My own experiences and the positive impact of ENM on my life drove my passion to help others in a similar journey.

I’ve learned from this experience the importance of aligning one’s personal values and passions with their professional career. By recognizing and pursuing a niche opportunity in the field of relationship coaching, I have not only found fulfillment in my work but also the opportunity to make a meaningful difference in the lives of individuals and couples seeking guidance in the world of ethical non-monogamy.

Dr. Rachael , before we move on to more of these sorts of questions, can you take some time to bring our readers up to speed on you and what you do?

Hello there! I’m Dr. Rachael Meir, your Defy Relationship Clini-Coach®. With over 15 years of experience as a licensed Clinical Psychologist and Certified Clinical Sexuality Coach, I’m here to guide you through the fascinating world of non-monogamous relationships and sexuality.

My journey began with a PsyD from the PGSP-Stanford PsyD Consortium and a BA from the University of Colorado, Boulder. My passion lies in fostering sex positivity, LGBTQIA+ affirmation, and a comprehensive understanding of diverse lifestyles, including BDSM/kink, ethical non-monogamy, swinging, open relationships, and polyamory.

As a bisexual woman, I understand the intricate challenges of embracing non-traditional relationship structures. In fact, I am in a fulfilling polyamorous triad relationship with my husband, Aaron, of 17 years (a total of 23 years together), and my wonderful fiance’ of 4 years, Kasey. This personal experience has deepened my commitment to helping individuals and couples navigate the complexities of open relationships, cultivating healthy, secure, and fulfilling connections.

I offer both individual and group coaching, equipping my clients with the skills to overcome insecurities and build resilient relationships. My aim is to create a supportive, stigma-free environment where individuals and couples can explore their authentic selves.

Non-monogamous relationships can often be misunderstood and stigmatized. Our own journey faced unwarranted judgment and misconceptions. However, the reality is quite different. As Dr. Moors, co-chair of the Committee of Consensual Non-Monogamy with the American Psychological Association, affirms, consensually non-monogamous relationships are built on trust, commitment, and satisfaction.

The truth is, non-monogamous relationships are more common than you might think. Many people choose to keep them private due to societal discrimination and potential consequences in areas like employment, child custody, and housing.

In fact, this relationship style is ideal for a third of Americans, and I’m living proof that it can lead to profound happiness.

If you’re ready to explore ethically non-monogamous relationships, free from fear, judgment, and jealousy, or simply curious to learn more, I’m here to guide and support you on your journey. Let’s defy conformity and find happiness together.

We’d love to hear a story of resilience from your journey.

When I came out as both bisexual and polyamorous, I encountered a range of reactions, some of which were less than supportive. It was undoubtedly a challenging period in my life, but it also reinforced my commitment to promoting understanding and acceptance of diverse relationships.

One particular experience stands out as an illustration of my resilience in the face of adversity. I remember sharing my identity and lifestyle with a close friend whom I had known for years. To my surprise, their response was far from supportive. They questioned the validity of my bisexuality and desire to be polyamorous, suggesting that it was a phase or that it would only lead to hurt and damaged relationships.

Instead of retreating, I decided to engage in an open and honest conversation with my friend. I calmly explained my feelings, experiences, and the deep self-reflection that led me to embrace these aspects of my identity. I also shared resources and educational materials to help them understand more about bisexuality and polyamory. It was a challenging and emotionally charged conversation, but I remained steadfast in my commitment to being true to myself.

Over time, my friend’s attitude evolved. They started to ask questions, seek information, and genuinely try to understand my perspective. Eventually, they not only became accepting but also a strong ally, supporting me in my journey and even advocating for open-mindedness within our social circle.

This experience taught me a valuable lesson in resilience and patience. It’s not uncommon for individuals to react negatively when confronted with something unfamiliar, and it often stems from a lack of understanding or fear, rather than malice. By remaining true to my identity and engaging in open, respectful dialogue, I was able to foster greater acceptance and change one person’s perspective.

I carry this lesson with me in my work as a relationship coach, helping my clients navigate similar challenges in their own journeys. It’s a testament to the power of education, open conversation, and unwavering self-acceptance in the face of judgment and negativity.

How’d you build such a strong reputation within your market?

What has truly helped me build my reputation within the market is a commitment to authenticity and a genuine openness in demonstrating my love for my partners. I firmly believe in practicing what I preach, and this authenticity has resonated with both my clients and peers.

In my work, I’m not afraid to be human and to acknowledge that relationships, especially in the realm of ethical non-monogamy, can be challenging and messy at times. I don’t put on a facade or pretend to have all the answers. Instead, I’m honest and direct with my clients, and I’m not afraid to say it as it is.

This approach has created a sense of trust and connection with my clients. They appreciate that I understand the real-life complexities they face because I’ve experienced them myself. My willingness to share publicly my own journey, both the highs and the lows, helps them feel less alone in their struggles and more inspired by the possibilities.

Furthermore, my commitment to providing a supportive environment extends to the way I engage with clients. I am dedicated to creating a space that is entirely safe and free from judgment, ensuring that they can openly explore their feelings and confront their challenges without fear. I encourage open dialogue and offer guidance without any preconceived notions. I want all of my clients to know that there is absolutely nothing they could say that would ever shock me or make me feel uncomfortable, fostering an atmosphere of trust and complete openness.

By embodying these values of authenticity, love, openness, and honesty, I’ve been able to foster a reputation as a trusted, relatable, and effective relationship coach. It’s not just about offering advice but also about walking the talk and being a living example of the principles I advocate for in ethical non-monogamy.

Contact Info:

• Website: https://www.drrachaelmeir.com/
• Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/drrachaelmeircoaching/
• Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/drrachaelmeircoaching/
• Linkedin: https://www.linkedin.com/in/drrachaelmeircoaching/
• Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/@drrachaelmeircoaching
• Other: https://www.tiktok.com/@drrachaelmeircoaching

Image Credits
Brittany Redding – Western Pine Photography Ran – Ran & Rami Photography