We’re excited to introduce you to the always interesting and insightful Dr. Mahalian Boykin. We hope you’ll enjoy our conversation with Dr. Mahalian below.

Dr. Mahalian, appreciate you joining us today. What did your parents do right and how has that impacted you in your life and career?

Wow, great question! And difficult! Because I feel there were several things my parents did right that impacted who I am in life and my career. But I would have to say the biggest gift that they gave me was my introduction to Christ. I was raised to know, trust, have faith in, and be faithful to God. And because of this foundation, my relationship with God is stronger than ever and He guides me in every area of my life. My career, purpose, and passion would definitely not align as perfectly as it does now, without Him guiding me.

Awesome – so before we get into the rest of our questions, can you briefly introduce yourself to our readers.

Tell our readers about yourself,

I am Mahalian Boykin. I am named after Mahalia Jackson, but I can’t sing like her. I was also born on April Fool’s Day, so my sense of humor is unmatched. But seriously, I just love life! I believe that the Celebration of Life should occur while you are alive. I celebrate life by living! I love sharing my life with my family and friends. I have 2 loving parents that I absolutely adore, an older brother, and younger sister. I am a “rich auntie” to two handsome nephews and a beautiful niece. My interests include traveling, writing, enjoying music, being outdoors, fellowshipping and having fun with family and friends. Professionally, I am a Licensed Professional Counselor and Life Coach, but it spills over into my purpose and passion in life. I have over 20 years of experience shaping the lives of adolescent girls and working within the corrections population. Most importantly, I love God! He and I are very close. I go to Him for everything, and He has not failed me yet. Which is why I am so confident in this new business, 4HOPE Haven. God gave me the vision, the roadmap, and the resources to execute it.

How you got into your industry / business / discipline / craft etc.,

Much of our life is shaped and impacted by our personal experiences- good or bad. And sometimes we have a difficult time navigating through our daily lives because of the impact of these experiences. I knew early on that I wanted to be a counselor/therapist. I always had a desire to “fix” other people’s problems- especially when I see them hurting. I am a natural empath. I feel what they feel and when it doesn’t feel right, I want to “fix” it. And when it does feel right, I want to celebrate it. While I was in graduate school, I suffered from extreme depression, thoughts of self-harm, anxiety, low self-esteem, low confidence. I was also a full-time therapist. The mental and emotional load was heavy for me. It was a very difficult time in my life. I hid it from a lot of people, including family. There were only 2 people in the world who knew about my struggles, and it was a very lonely time. But these 2 very important people held me up and carried me when I couldn’t walk and spoke up for me when I couldn’t talk. They were my lifeline that held me together. I know that God used them to save my life. And because I was still here, I knew I had a call to answer. And 4HOPE Haven is my answer. There are so many other women out there who need a village, who need a sisterhood/sistercircle to hold them up and speak up for them. And this is what my organization, 4HOPE Haven does.

What type of products/services/creative works you provide,

4HOPE Haven is an organization made up of a group of women with a common interest of providing emotional, mental, and spiritual support to other women. Additionally, 4HOPE Haven serves as a safe virtual sistercircle network where women can connect, grow, share, be heard, and be celebrated. We will offer on-line Empowerment courses, spiritual study courses, in-person support groups, and in-person summer courses for teen girls. Trauma does not have age restrictions and neither does healing. And we are also planning to launch a platform for men; because trauma does not have gender restrictions either.

What problems you solve for your clients

God has called each one of us into our own individual purpose and calling. 4HOPE Haven provides a safe space of encouragement and support for women to rediscover and redefine their authentic self by (1) Understanding more about their experiences of healing, opportunities, purpose, and empowerment together- their similarities and differences in journeys, (2) Exploring how different influences have shaped their lives, (3) Learning skills and techniques to help travel along this current journey and in the future, and (4) Encountering a haven to connect, grow, share, be heard, and be celebrated.

What you think sets you apart from others.

In doing my research, there are several platforms out there like 4HOPE Haven. And I am sure each founder is just as passionate about their own, at least I hope so. But I would say the biggest thing that sets me apart are the experiences that pushed me into this journey. My experiences significantly shaped who I am as a woman- my ability to form healthy relationships, my outlook on life, and how I make decisions. My journey of healing saved my life! It was a very painful process, but it was beautiful! I just really didn’t know how much my experiences, mostly trauma, impacted my daily decision making and my outlook on life until someone pointed it out to me. And it’s as if someone removed my rose-colored glasses, or dark-colored in my case. My passion really shines through when I start talking about Women Empowerment! My true and authentic self comes alive! My spirit sets on fire! This is my life, my identity, my calling! It’s in my spiritual DNA! So, another thing that sets me apart from others, would be the level of passion I have to help women heal and self-actualize. And how excited I get to see them thrive and bloom!

What are you most proud of?

I am most proud of my team, my sisterfriends. I went to them with this God-idea, and they did not hesitate to join me. They trusted me and the God in me. They believed in the vision that God released to me. And this just proves my point even further that every woman needs a village they can lean on.

What are the main things that you want potential clients/followers/fans to know about you/your brand/your work/ etc.?

The blueprint for 4HOPE Haven is a real-life autobiography of my healing journey. Each woman will have access to the same level of resources, tools, and support that I had. My sistercircle will become their sistercircle. The same 2 people who were instrumental in my healing, will be available for theirs. Empowered Women, Empower Women. I stand on that!

We often hear about learning lessons – but just as important is unlearning lessons. Have you ever had to unlearn a lesson?

One very critical lesson I had to unlearn was what it means to be a strong woman. There is a lot of toxicity in being “a strong woman”. Back in the day, women- especially black women- were expected to carry the mental, physical, and emotional burdens of the family. As a nurturer, you become the dumping ground for other people’s pain while being expected to hide your own. This “lesson” has been passed down through the black culture. So now you have all of these “strong women” with high blood pressure, depression, heart problems, anxiety, etc. Because they hide their pain, their suffering, their distress, because they have to show up for their spouses, kids, family, and friends. I had to unlearn that part of being a woman. I had to learn that being “a strong woman” means being strong enough to nurture my own pain, suffering, and distress. Being a strong woman means being strong enough to say No, to ask for help, and to unapologetically express your emotions in a healthy way. I had to unlearn being a strong woman so that I can learn how to become a strong woman.

Putting training and knowledge aside, what else do you think really matters in terms of succeeding in your field?

The mental health field, as a counselor, definitely requires self-awareness and self-care. Counseling is a helping profession but you must be aware of the limitations of your help. I have a desire to help everyone who comes to me, but realistically, I know that I can’t. I have a heart for their pain and their distress, but realistically, I know that I cannot carry all of that. Healthy boundaries must be in place with clients in order to protect both of us. Vicarious trauma is a real thing amongst helping professionals. I am always aware that I am my first client. It is important that I nurture my own mental and emotional health first, before I can be of any good to my clients. If I am not well then how can I help my clients get well?

Contact Info:

• Instagram: @halib31
• Facebook: 4HOPE Haven