We recently connected with Dr. Candice Oshunfunke and have shared our conversation below.
Alright, Dr. Candice thanks for taking the time to share your stories and insights with us today. Was there a defining moment in your professional career? A moment that changed the trajectory of your career?
Back in 2020, I had a divination done by a priestess where I was told that I was not being my true self as a person and healer. She shared that I should be wearing head wraps and dresses, I was taken aback because I assumed that I was operating in my true self especially being a marriage, family, and sex therapist, I assumed that I was in alignment with my vision and purpose. I was told that I was missing the spiritual component and not operating in my spiritual gifts. I was unsure of what that was until I got a reading done about a month later.
This reader told me, as the priestess told me during my divination that I was not operating in my true self…..the same message again. She asked me if I was going back to school, as a PhD holder I attest that was not something I was trying to do. Then she asked me what I did for a living I told her that I was a marriage and family therapist and sex therapist. Once she heard that about what I did, a light bulb went off for her. When I shared what I did along with the signs on my natal chart, she shared that I was meant to be a sensual goddess, and advised me to research being a tantric healer. That was the sign for me that I was meant to do tantric and energetic spiritual work. I was already doing trauma informed work with a holistic lens however until I embarked upon my own spiritual journey I had not fully integrated it into my practice. I had to rebrand some things and change the language in my therapy practice in addition to adding my new business The Tantric MFT which was specific for all persons not just seeking therapeutic services but also energetic healing and spiritual work as well.
The things I can appreciate in my career is that I am becoming more and more comfortable recognizing myself as a spiritual therapist and practitioner. I am humbled and honored that I still have a practice full of people who trust my work and what I do to be able to assist them in their overall healing.
Dr. Candice, love having you share your insights with us. Before we ask you more questions, maybe you can take a moment to introduce yourself to our readers who might have missed our earlier conversations?
Since I was a child I’ve had a relationship with spirit. It would come to me by way of whispers, footsteps, shadows, or strong intuitive feelings that something was there that I didn’t see at the moment. In the past, I rarely shared this with anyone as I did not want people to assume things about me as well as my own shame. My ability to hear and see was something that I ran from for a long time and did not want to embrace because of my own fear, perceived trauma of such events, and a lack of understanding. Some years ago I began to look at spirituality and religion with a different lens that shifted my thinking of how I understood the spiritual realm and my relationship with God.
As it relates to what I do and why; as a woman who has uterine fibroid tumors, it was important for me to create a healing space for women who struggled with fibroids and other reproductive issues. As women, especially Black women we have a lot of womb trauma that has been experienced directly and/or intergenerationally and carry a lot in their hearts and wombspaces. It is my passion to aid in the healing of women and their womb spaces, as well as helping them to learn about and embrace their own sexuality and sensuality unapologetically. Secondly, there are men that are suffering in silence and often times struggle with being in touch with their own emotions and allowing themselves to fully heal. Patriarchy, colonialism, religion, and the influence of dominant discourse has a lot to do with this. In a therapeutic sense, watching men become vulnerable is a very powerful thing, watching them heal in a spiritual context is indescribable. I also have the passion in helping couples to connect on not just a sexual level but also spiritual. To me that is the deepest form of connection.
At The Tantric MFT the focus is on holistic care, energy healing, and other spiritual practices. I have found a great way to integrate energy healing work as a modality in addition to mental and emotional wellness in my work with clients who choose to do both. As a brand, I am most proud of providing space to those who are of the African diaspora and having a safe space for those who are looking for representation from a spiritual, and cultural perspective. I also have the belief that sexuality is spirituality which is a unique view from most in my field. I’m also proud of the work that I am doing alongside my healing partner Shontwel and the work we do as The Two Ladies Inc that includes spiritual and energetic work, readings, and many other things spiritually. That the understanding of our sensual and sexual selves allows us for an experience that is of bliss, happiness, and peace that only one an achieve within themselves. As a therapist, supervisor and spiritual healer I pride myself in co-creating experiences that can alter a persons life for the better for the rest of their lives. By staying in that space within self you can truly create a life of happiness, love, peace, and pleasure. That is what I stand on and proud of.
Putting training and knowledge aside, what else do you think really matters in terms of succeeding in your field?
I’ve always believed that knowledge and training was simply sharpening the sword. My belief is that in this field it is important to have the natural gift. The gift of compassion, the gift of connection, the gift of holding space for another when they need it. These are qualities that I believe are naturally embedded in another and the skills and training provide a framework for what it is that we’re already doing. There is the process of an inner knowing and re-remembering of the things that we are purposed here to do in this plane and this lifetime. It is also good to have a support system of people who truly love, support, and care about you. This is crucial from a place that we are all relational beings and we thrive best in relationship. Solitude is needed and very necessary however it is also necessary to have a team a people who support you and are there for you. It is also important to engage in continuous self love and self care. In this work we give a lot of ourselves and it is so important to pour back into ourselves by taking care of ourselves and doing the things that bring joy, and peace into our daily lives. One cannot pour from an empty cup. I can only give to others the overflow of what I’ve given to myself. No one should ever get water from your source, it should always come from the excess. When I’m better for me I can be better for others.
If you could go back, would you choose the same profession, specialty, etc.?
If I could go back I don’t think I would change my profession per se because I truly love and enjoy what I do in all of my work however I would love to have another job to add which is being a neuroscientist and chemist that helps others through use of herbal medicine as well as having the neuroscience background of recognizing the biochemical processes that occur as it relates to mental and emotional wellness and even more understanding sex and sexuality along with sexual processes to help advance the field of sex therapy, sexual awareness, and health. This is another one that is more of a fantasy that I had in my mind in highschool but I wanted to play in the orchestra as I used to play in the band and enjoyed creating music alongside my fellow highschool bandmates. I enjoy the symphony and how all the instruments come together to make one beautiful sound. To be a part of creating such a thing is quite amazing.
Contact Info:
- Website: https://www.thetantricmft.com
- Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/thetantricmft
- Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/thetantricmft
- Linkedin: https://www.linkedin.com/in/dr-candice-cooper-lovett-lmft-s-cst-tantric-shaman-04482530
Image Credits
Professional photo: Marc Norsworthy & Co