Alright – so today we’ve got the honor of introducing you to Donna Dagnesi-gonzalez. We think you’ll enjoy our conversation, we’ve shared it below.

Donna, appreciate you joining us today. So let’s jump to your mission – what’s the backstory behind how you developed the mission that drives your brand?

When I decided to become a Coach, I thought I was going to focus on being a Health Coach. Although certified in both Health and Life, my passion (and specialty) became Life and Relationship Coaching. I chose this based on my own struggles through two failed marriages. I experienced an array of emotions, depression, self-doubt, loss of self-worth, anger and pain. It was a long and painful road of life’s struggles to find my way back; to begin the healing. There were no life coaches back then to help me regain the parts of me that I felt I lost with each failed marriage.

I always have said that everything (good and not-so-good) happens for a reason. Although back then I had no idea why I had to go through such horrible experiences, this is where I felt my “reason” and my “purpose” unfolded. If I could help anyone going through the struggles that relationships create (at any stage of the relationship), then my purpose was being fulfilled.

Initially, my focus was strictly on divorce, so I developed a signature program “Lighting the Pathway Thru Divorce”. While coaching using this program, it became apparent to me that the lines of healing and transformation from a marital relationship were blurred. In the process of the program, other things would begin to unfold, clients were seeing and realizing parts of themselves that they hadn’t before. Relationships are relationships any way you slice it and the first and most important relationship is one we have with ourselves.

From that point on, I felt the way to helping others maneuver through whatever relationship problems they’re experiencing was to start with a strategic form of questions that are covered before they even decide to become a client. We have a free “Discovery Call”. From there, it becomes clear where to start should they decide to sign on. Each and every session is curated for their needs specifically as coaching (and people) are not one size fits all.

It fills my heart each and every time I witness a breakthrough, growth, and healing. It’s a continual learning experience for not only my clients but for me! We learn and grow from each other’s journeys.

Awesome – so before we get into the rest of our questions, can you briefly introduce yourself to our readers.

How I got into the world of coaching was a little different. I’ve always worked in the corporate world. A few years ago, I was talking to one of my very good friends about retirement. Having been a single parent for a good chunk of my life, financially retirement wasn’t looking good, and I had no idea what I could do to supplement my income when I came to the point where I was looking to retire from the “rat race”. She suggested Coaching, as it was an up-and-coming thing. I did some research and decided that I would give it a shot. Little did I know how much love and passion I would have for this type of work. This was it!

For any new client, I start them out with a 90-day program (12 sessions). This entails meeting once a week (either via phone call or zoom call) for approximately 45 minutes to an hour. Working with someone for 90 days lays the foundation so that clients regain their footing and have more clarity as to how to proceed. After the 90 days has been completed, it’s up to the client as to their path forward. Some clients want to sign up for another 90-days while others enjoy once a month “touch base” calls, and some like a “one-off” call when needed.

My specialty is Life and Relationship Coaching. What Coaching does that’s different from counseling and/or therapy is Coaching meets you where you are and helps you move forward, get unstuck, and works on the client finding the answers within themselves that are there yet they don’t know how to access them.

What I find that I’m most proud of is “the work”. Coaches don’t have a magic wand, nor can they snap their fingers and everything will be great. It takes work. It takes dedication and commitment. My suggestion to anyone interested in being coached is to embrace the work. Nothing changes without taking action towards change. It takes time, patience and continual work. It’s a proud moment when a client makes that change or transformation. They feel pride in themselves, and I am overjoyed for their successes.

Let’s talk about resilience next – do you have a story you can share with us?

I have many stories that would illustrate my resilience. However, I’m going to share a story from my first marriage. I got married when I was 24 years old to a man one year younger than me. We lived together for a few years before we married. After we married, we had various bumps in the road as well as financial struggles. Looking back, it is amazing to me how many “red flags” I ignored in the name of love.

To make an extremely long story short, I’ll get to the point of my resilience. After being married for a few years, I became pregnant at 26 years of age. My husband had been sketchy with his loyalty and commitment to me, and he had gotten another woman pregnant before me and gave she birth to her daughter one month into my pregnancy. Let’s fast forward to a month before my due date.

My husband wanted to make our marriage work (so he told me) and wanted to start fresh by us relocating to a place where no one knew his sketchy past. He said he was applying for jobs in different states. Well, it was now weeks before my due date. He left on July 3, 1987, and said he was going on a job interview in Virginia (we lived in upstate NY) and would be back before I went into labor. However, should I go into labor before he returned, he left me with a phone number to call. Just a reminder, cell phones didn’t exist at that time.

The evening of July 13th my water broke but because it was so late in the evening, I didn’t call the doctor. I just went to sleep and called first thing in the morning. When I spoke with the doctor, he asked me to get to the hospital ASAP. I called the number my husband gave me before he left, and a woman answered the phone. He was with his girlfriend in Virginia. The woman he had the baby with. So, on the morning of July 14th, I drove myself to the hospital, had my daughter and began my journey alone. Approximately 2 weeks after she was born, he called to ask what we had. I told him that I had a little girl and that was the end of that. I was in a state of shock, on maternity leave, a new mom, and now I had to face the fact that he wasn’t coming back, and this little girl only had me.

Fortunately, I worked for attorneys back then and went through divorce proceedings along with adoption proceedings long distance. I needed to go through adoption proceedings to get his name off of the birth certificate so adopted my own daughter. I knew he’d never help with child support or anything along those lines. I also wanted to protect her so that he wouldn’t be able to come back any time down the road to ask for visitation. Oddly enough, I was told by the Surrogate Court Clerk that he had called the Court to ask them what he needed to do to speed up the adoption proceedings. He wanted nothing to do with me or our daughter.

It was a painful experience, and I struggled emotionally and financially. I worked full time; got part time jobs to make ends meet while making sure I had someone to come to my home to watch my daughter so I could work and support us. It was not an easy journey. What pulled me through every single day was my daughter’s beautiful face, her innocence and her total dependence on me. I called her “my reason”. She was my reason for waking up each day and doing what had to be done to provide a beautiful life for her. I summed up strength and resilience needed because of my unconditional love as her mom.

Was I resentful? Was I angry, hateful….all of the emotions? Of course! There came a time when in my healing and growth it occurred to me that although he wasn’t a part of our lives, without him, I would not have had the best thing that ever happened to me. My daughter.

We often hear about learning lessons – but just as important is unlearning lessons. Have you ever had to unlearn a lesson?

I would have to say that the lesson that I had to unlearn was to put everyone else’s wants and needs above my own.

My mom was a very loving and giving person and she did that. I watched and witnessed the many times she would do without in order to give to others. While that is a beautiful personality trait to have, it also is one that needs to have boundaries to keep from being taken advantage of and, in turn, becoming resentful.

I didn’t learn how to set boundaries yet adopted my mom’s trait of being a giver. There is no specific backstory or one particular event to zero in on because when you’re a giver and prioritize everyone else over yourself, it’s an ongoing thing. It’s a way of life….and it was my life.

Only through my training as a Coach and my continuing education, have I learned to recognize the part I play in that behavior.

Contact Info:

• Instagram: @ddagnesi
• Facebook: Donna Dagnesi Gonzalez
• Linkedin: Donna Dagnesi Gonzalez
• Other: I stopped using my landing page because I found it not as useful as I thought it would be.

Image Credits

Olive Gray Photography
Personal Photos