We caught up with the brilliant and insightful Dominique Demming a few weeks ago and have shared our conversation below.
Dominique, appreciate you joining us today. Has your work ever been misunderstood or mischaracterized?
In a world that tells you to catch someone’s eye and makes their thumb stop while they are scrolling the algorithm in 5 seconds—for me, it felt debilitating to create because you sliver your art for what’s trendy, digestible and in turn becomes for everyone vs allowing yourself to be for someone even if that someone is your own self who gets it. I couldn’t avoid being misunderstood. You can’t avoid being misunderstood, it’s like the honorary badge of self expression even though it doesn’t feel like that at first or at all. When my writing or a new idea for a playshop gets misunderstood, I feel this rejection bubble in my chest and I begin to question what I was meaning or my brain goes into hyper over-analyzing what could be better. Those are such valid thought farts that blast off because the humanity inside all of us, desires to be validated especially when it comes to the act of creation. Being misunderstood, being disliked, being in disagreement, being mischaracterized all orbit around one another. They are all unavoidable aspects and they can create immense intimacy to the relationship to our artistry. When my imagination goes or I have my pen in my hand to start writing, I don’t judge it, I become detached to what wants to be living outside of me into the world as a pulse. Same with your art. It starts similarly or you come back to it with fresh eyes and then rearrange it around or you crumble it up and that also acts as a marker for another idea to come forth. I think it’s so brazen to keep exploring our expression knowing that part of our process is not to remain neutral or for the sake of popularity. It’s for giving a space to witnessing and hearing our own selves out. You get to give yourself permission to solely exist in your pain, in your grit, in life as you experience it as yourself. You get to also give yourself permission to know your art isn’t up for debate, it’s to be devoured raw, deep and widened. Anything else that spews out of the eyeballs of others who view it—that’s the whole point of art making. Wear that badge of honor of being misunderstood and rebel in the relationship to it.
Now go create some art.
Dominique, love having you share your insights with us. Before we ask you more questions, maybe you can take a moment to introduce yourself to our readers who might have missed our earlier conversations?
I’m Dom Demming, I really like to make you feel things through my writings of me living out themes of personal questioning and the gooey in between. Sometimes I’m a bridge, a Dj, a Poet, a photographer, a videographer and a word garbage articulator of comedic catharsis. I’m in a thriving poly relationship to curiosity, widened intimacy and tender presence that allows my disco ball expression to be in the forefront of everything I do. If you couldn’t tell by now, I’m basically a multipotentialite. My delicious specialties are served up in creative directing, expressionism and holding the space to midwife your creative ideas through with you. I believe in art. I believe that life and the way you experience it through you is the greatest art form. I believe storytelling saves lives even if the only life it saved by telling it, is your own.
To dropping out of high school, nannying, being in a fitness MLM, more nannying while simultaneously using social media as a live journal to practice my writing and getting on live videos to riff with whatever felt like coming through and opening my first e-commerce jewelry brand, expanding on it with clothing and accessories to selling it, becoming a successful podcast host, getting out of the fitness MLM due to noticing I was struggling with body dysmorphia and other eating disorders. I became a sensual embodiment facilitator to help others to intimately connect with their bodies and sensations. At 27, I noticed how exhausted I became from running a business I fell out of love for and I took a break from working, I knew I didn’t want to return to that particular coaching and I was burnt out from editing and interviewing guests. I went back to writing heavily and explored more interests that I forgot I used to enjoy or didn’t allow myself to indulge in. I was completely memorized by the camera, by spoken word, by bouncing creative ideas back and forth between artists who I helped when it came to midwifing their vision. I felt shame bubble up all in my chest and stomach, I felt like I was letting people down by shapeshifting into another sliver of myself but I gently started to showcase this part of myself online. sometimes to reclaim who you are in this given season, you will disappoint people and maybe you’ll feel that by the sudden change you make for yourself and I think that is also called grief. Allow it to have its way with you and pivot anyway. Now at almost 30, I am opening up soothsayer studio, it’s a studio to help articulate what exactly you want to visually storytell, experiment with, explore within your creative writing style & poetically embody your artist identity to feel like you on any platform. Being behind the scenes of some amazing artists and creatives’ brands has been a whirlwind. I get so giddy when I see what I can co-create with another and knowing it captures exactly what they were wanting. I also love seeing people think what they want to say is word garbage and showing them how valuable that garbage is once its untangled and articulated in their natural range of expression and; voice.
I used to not like the word discipline, to me, it sounded so erect, so demanding. When I changed it’s meaning to me which means ” practice toning” as my interpretation for discipline, it made me see how needed that is to have trust in my ability to show up for my thoughts, my heart and my imagination. Listening and witnessing are two of the biggest ways I practice toning. and it’s not about listening just with your ears, it’s about turning your whole body inside out and seeing ears everywhere on it. When a word comes to me, I write it down. If I feel my back has an ache, I talk to it. If I am in nature, I notice the way the wind talks through the leaves. As a poet, it’s in my blood to never look away at the world. As devastating and ugly and beautiful and overwhelming it can be to exist, I witness it through me and make art.
Always, when in doubt, make art.
The thing I am the most proud of is my ability to persevere; even when I have no actual clue what’s next or I am in the pit of chaotic kerosene that creates circles around me, I cry, might have a little pity tantrum or 5 about it but I always come through for myself. The same goes for my friends and people I get to work with.
My work is so important to me and what sets it apart is how I don’t shy away when you are in your own shitstorm or confusion or shame. I feel not enough people actually hear and witness others without injecting their own objectives when it’s not about us, Its about solely them. I want to know what your experiences are like when you tell why you stopped writing or what is continually gnawing at your bones—and theatrically play with that. ( Somatics)
It’s okay if you haven’t made art in a while, maybe all this time you have been cooking and marinating in exactly what you want to say next.
We often hear about learning lessons – but just as important is unlearning lessons. Have you ever had to unlearn a lesson?
One of the biggest lessons I had to unlearn and still unlearning because it’s sneaky like an ex on mercury retrograde in your Dm’s — you can’t avoid messing up and it won’t be perfect. They are like BFF’s, you can’t experience one without the other ramming its big ol head in. My relationship to messing up was as deep as if I misspelled a word on a grocery list, I would have to get an entirely new one to re-write it or If I could only write a sentence or a word because it kept coming back up for me to write with it, I crumbled up my paper. If I created a graphic for a play shop and I stared at it and noticed something was off that no one else noticed; I deemed it incomplete. I felt beyond frustrated to the point it made me not put anything out because I said to myself, ” it’s not done yet.” Yes, that can be true and in this moment, it was comfortable of me to stay with ” it’s not done” due to the fact it keeps me in the loop of my own confusion. I didn’t have to play roulette with my art ironically keeping me also in the loop of waiting for it to be perfect. Plot twist: perfection does not exist. I wanted to truly avoid that there is a gift to practice and the messy, ugly, rough parts of a draft and to our humanity. I don’t believe practice is about getting success or good at something; it’s more the act of discipline to tuning yourself to widen the presentness that’s alive within you and your heart. And the mess, is the cluster that is filled with roots to pathways to soil yourself with. I had to allow myself to become so uncomfortable with not getting it right. that was not easy to surrender to, I went kicking and screaming like the brat I can sometimes be. How can you truly make amazing art without the composting of the literal shit that is apart of being the mess? Our culture strives on categorial, black and white, yes/no responses. Sometimes that can be needed and other times it’s so limiting and I can understand why we are so hard on ourselves to strive for perfection. What if its not about being perfect but in actuality, its about getting it out–having it out of your mind, out on the paper so its not just a thought, its a form, a texture, a sound, or an articulated possibility. I know that there will always be the inner perfectionism in me and I know that it’s because that part deeply cares for what I am creating. When I tell myself now that its about getting it out, it allowed me to show myself grace and that when its out, I am allowing myself to be the witness of my art and I can now be the actor and embody the creation as it formulates.
Make the mistakes and make some more. Let the rough drafts of your life, be your bones.
Do you think there is something that non-creatives might struggle to understand about your journey as a creative? Maybe you can shed some light?
Oh yes, It coincides with one of the most frustrating things I have been told ” just pick one medium, one niche, one area to focus on or commit to” and being a creative, it isn’t a singular journey. It doesn’t come down to not being focused or not committed. Those are fluid aspects that depend on where you are heightened to play in as the moment comes. You will feel like you are intertwined with everything and nothing all at once, while you throw spaghetti at the internet, your notebook or your design to see what will feel like you. There is so much emphasis on detailing your identity and providing a label that we forget the whole point of identity is about discovering the continuum of what it means to be in the exploration of ourselves. It’s okay to feel as if you are a human paradox. It’s valid when you create something you go through almost like a death portal–a grievance. I have felt that so many times especially when an idea I am in love with, I have to let go to honor another one or let go the expectation of what I want from it. No matter how confusing it can be to understand their influx of creativity that is their cauldron of wonder, let it brew without the extra pressure. With the creators in your life. give them space to be in the multiplicity of their curiosity.
Contact Info:
- Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/dom_demming/?hl=en
- Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/xx.Domi.lovee.xx/
- Other: https://www.tiktok.com/@domdemming
Image Credits
Soothsayer studio